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New Beginnings, Clean Slate Begin This New School Year

Tue, 27 Aug 2024 04:00:00 GMT

As longtime Brazos Valley residents know, we’ve been taking the back streets the past two weeks now, and until after the first home game traffic settles back, you can count on our staying there. The annual ritual of Back-to-School brings yet another 1500 Aggies to the community, much to the delight of local business owners, who survive the summer to reach the thriving days of fall and summer.

Another gift of fall is the opportunity to start fresh and new with the new semester. You don’t have to wait until January for a new beginning. You can find a new notebook and a fresh new pen, so you have tools at your disposal. So, what can we do with this new slate? One of our possibilities is to conquer items that seem to linger far too long on our to-do lists. You know the ones you know have to be done “sometime” but there does not seem to be a pressing reason to do it. Yes. I’m referring to making plans for your final arrangements for “when that day comes.”

Most people think there’s always plenty of time to make those plans, maybe when you are in your 50s or 60s, maybe even your 70s, given that people seem to live longer every day, right? Compared to 30 years ago that’s true. But 30 years ago, most adults with families had already made their funeral decisions and had an active, funded funeral plan in place when they passed away. In the last 20 years especially have the chances to do more things presented more appealing ways to spend time than to attend to the typical things that “young marrieds” included in early decisions they would make as a new family.

One of the predictable solutions to high stress lives is to put off whatever you can until it actually needs to be dealt with. Whether it is finally getting your garage organized, or things in your attic disposed of, let’s face it, you’re not seeing it as a must-do because there are so many other things you think that need dealing with first. However, when you look at it through different perspectives, ours for example, we recognize that it is the best thing you can do because it goes hand-in-hand in thinking about life insurance and setting up college funds and retirement accounts for your family.

If we could just call it “future planning” rather than “final planning,” I think it would seem not only more pleasant but a routine procedure that you would want to resolve as part of your future success goals.

There are so many reasons to plan early, but saving money has to be at the top of the list. First of all, one cost that funeral homes don’t control is the burial locations you choose, unless they happen to own their own cemetery, and many do (e.g., we own Restever Memorial Park and Mausoleum in Bryan), you pay at the time you select a plot and the deed to the space is yours permanently. Over the past 15 years, a single cemetery plot in the City of College Station went from approximately $600 to $1450. Same size space. Note: the Aggie Field of Honor has separate (higher) pricing.

As you start to think about where you want to be buried, many of you have no idea what city or state you will ultimately be locating, particularly if you are at the beginning of your career. For those with family lands or numerous family plots that were purchased 50+ years ago, decisions are already made, and funding is in place.

Yet, you can only imagine how the appraisal of your home has skyrocketed in the past five years alone. Well, so have the costs for all goods and services for our daily purchases as well as for our future senior years. That’s where Preplans can be your friends. By meeting with a preplanning specialist, you review your options and make your choices in a nonstressful time and easy environment. Imagine the difference between that and the times of concern when an unexpected death in the family occurs. Decisions are not rushed; you have time to confer with other family members if that is desirable, and your stress level is much lower.

So, with this period of new beginnings, the advent of fall, give some thought to preplanning for your future plans. We offer regular complimentary “Lunch and Learn” and “Dinner and Learn” seminars to provide you with insight and information that will aid you as you consider your choices. We invite you to reach out to us at any time you have questions or an immediate need. We are here for you.

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

Olympic Times and Trials —What We Learn and Can Teach From Them

Mon, 29 Jul 2024 04:00:00 GMT

It’s an exciting first weekend we just experienced, with the opening of the Summer Olympic Games in Paris, France. The week of the Olympics landed in the midst of a very busy series of news cycles that document world events and daily news. Good and bad news abounds, everywhere you look it seems. You just have to pick and choose what you want to let into your day. Yet, it’s important to be aware of the world around us, because the earliest displays of the lessons we teach our children revolve around how we respond to the ups and downs of life.

Olympic athletes spend their lifetimes, mostly, dedicated to a singular purpose of training their bodies, minds, and spirits for excellence. From early inspirations, to learning from coaches, to finding personal trainers, and giving hours of sacrificial practice in lieu of taking it easy, no one person wins an Olympic medal alone. It truly does a team to train that future competitor. And, on the days of competition, everyone who has had a hand in the process of that person’s development can take a deep breath and smile, knowing that they played a role in getting them there.

Children are constantly monitoring adults to watch their examples of how to celebrate good news as well as to absorb bad news. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that, especially if you’re new to having a new member of your household. I was watching some of the Olympic coverage this weekend and there was a commercial that showed multiple children racing around a track at school, clearly competing with one other.

Segment after segment showed one child falling down, on a running track, on a soccer field, or a baseball field, and another child, a competitor, nearby stopping or turning back to go back and help the other child up, putting them back on their feet and giving them an encouraging pat on the shoulder. Not one word was said during the 30-second commercial until the end when the announcer said something to the effect that “Set the example for them to follow.” Message received and beautifully delivered.

The three Olympic Values that are set forth are excellence, respect, and friendship. Whether in international sporting competition or in local business, these are three excellent values to hold to if you want to build and sustain positive relationships to endure for the length of time that you have your business. It’s certainly what we strive for, and our children are listening and watching everywhere we go and what we do and say. That’s a positive reason to be consistent, kind, and caring in everything we do.

It’s not easy, especially when in times where we don’t always agree with one another, in whatever setting we find ourselves in, disagreements may arise, tempers can flare, but just as quickly, we can reassess what a particular friendship means to us before we allow a disagreement to damage or even destroy it. Name calling is no more suitable for adults than for children. Possibly with the exception of one or two particular football games, we can all just agree to disagree with the opposition on who is right and who has failed, one year at a time, and the loser can repeat the mantra, “Wait ‘til next year,” and there’s always a next year. Always.

However, it does no good to trash-talk the opponents just for the sake of popular rivalries, because children don’t yet distinguish good-natured ribbing from attacking or cutting down the competition. Still, old habits die hard…particularly during football season. It’s bound to happen once you start collecting clothing in either maroon or orange…and goes from there.

Good examples of the USA Men’s and Women’s Swimming team were all around to watch this weekend. As one swimmer prevailed in the contest and the top three came in, you could not distinguish the joy between all of the USA teammates, as they sincerely celebrated one another as though each had prevailed as the winner, because as fellow members of Team USA, they were all indeed genuine winners.

Just making the trip to the Paris games means elite standing among world athletes. In the heat of competition, it’s easy to forget the statistical probability of an athlete coming from a small town in a small state, never before having seen their name in print beyond the local or state papers. And, with each special award and honor earned, every night and every day during the Olympic coverage, names are repeated, video footage of amazing victories, some separated by hundreds of seconds is shown, and reshown, and new names will be forever remembered from this week forward.

Learning how to lose is just as important as learning how to win. Most successes in life come after multiple failures. We learn most from our failures if we are wise and pay attention. If we keep in mind that every day we are modeling behavior to other eyes, adult, and child alike, then perhaps more people will mirror our behavior, if they like what we see. Treating people as you wish to be treated is something we learned in kindergarten, but it’s still true. No one person is as smart as “all of us,” and we can always benefit from the wisdom and experience of those who went before us, paving the way.

Congratulations to all our Olympians competing in Paris these next weeks and be prepared to shed a tear or two when the national anthem is played, and we receive our share of Gold Medals (if this first weekend is any indication). It’s a wonderful time to be an American and to cheer for Team USA as we Go for the Gold!

Cody D. Jones ’02

Owner & Community Member

Independence, Freedom, and Choices

Thu, 04 Jul 2024 04:00:00 GMT

This is the day when we break out the red, white, and blue décor and display our pride in being Americans with the rest of our community, same as we do every year at this time. Across the Brazos Valley some of our neighborhoods are staging their own parades and parents have helped their children decorate their bike handles with streamers. Sound systems are playing “The Stars and Stripes Forever” as a parade route forms. Pedal cars are moving into position behind the four- and five-year-old drivers maneuvering into position. Electric cars driven by Batman or John Deere III slide into view.

From the days when the late Hon. W. T. “Tom” McDonald, Jr. founded the parade at Heritage Park for the 4 ^th of July to cross town at Copperfield and over to College Station – patriotism is on full review today as it is every year at this time. Somehow it seems more poignant this year, maybe because Chelsea and I are talking about “God bless America” and “We are proud to be Americans” but how does he know that it is not in the same intonation as we declare allegiance and loyalty to our beloved Aggies as we sing “We are the Aggies, the Aggies are we, we’re from Texas AMC”?

One claim is a birthright versus a conscious choice to stand up for and stand behind the principles upon which loyalty is shown to both institutions of government and college rivalry. Another difference is that there is typically only pride at stake when university rivalries are tested each week on a field of contention, whether turf, gravel, or aggregate rubber. To be sure, today Americans almost take it for granted that if our team loses, either the next year will bring about satisfaction or correction of an aggrieved error. You mope for a day or two, but you plan to rebuild for the next time you face off with “the enemy.”

In a company where assets can be built or lost, still there is no level of “life or death” at stake. You win profits, you lose assets. You always have a second chance to redo, rebuild, grow again. And yet, when it comes to America…things are quite different.

Today more than ever, decisions that are made on behalf of American citizens live on beyond a single law, rule, or vote, whether these guidelines and rules were put into place two years ago or over 200 years ago and have survived to those in power today. And yet, we think back to the days when loyalty was a life and death choice to make. In those cases, decisions were made within a few seconds whether you were to declare yourself loyal to the Monarch of England of whether you wanted to declare yourself “free.”

What is freedom? What does it mean to have freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and what is specifically guaranteed to us by the 14 ^th Amendment to the U. S. Constitution? Due process of law, equal protection under the law, right to citizenship, and that NO ONE can take away our life, liberty, and that rarely thought about “pursuit of happiness.” We just take it for granted that it is something we are “due,” the pursuit of happiness. What no one stops to think about is if/when we ever consider not being able to pursue happiness. We have never awakened in the morning not free to go about our day as we wish. No one has dictated to us before, certainly not a king, not a person, or a soldier, or a self-appointed ruler. Americans gave their lives long ago for our freedom today.

Sometimes the only way you can explain freedom, especially as we do to children when we teach them about life, is to explain what it means to “NOT” have freedom. The absence of something we have, whether we realize it, is punishment. However, we take so many things for granted in life, we rarely have time or opportunity to consider what our life would be without them.

Freedom is not political. Freedom is a birthright of being an American. Just two weeks ago in the Brazos Valley we had new naturalized citizens take the oath of allegiance at the George H.W. Bush Presidential Library and Museum, truly a momentous occasion at an iconic location. Today’s news sources note that 11,000 people will celebrate the 4 ^th of July this year by doing the same thing—taking the oath of allegiance—between June 28 – June 5.

As one part of the test, U.S. citizens take a test to express their knowledge of English, and then there’s an oral exam of 10 civics questions. Six of 10 questions must be answered correctly to pass. Do you know who wrote the Declaration of Independence? How many stripes were on the first U.S. flag? What did they represent? Who was Susan B. Anthony?

People continue to seek citizenship in America as we continue to be known as “land of the free, home of the brave.” May we continue to teach our young people today how important it is to remain free, to continue to be brave in the face of dangerous challenges to our freedom, and to be willing to defend our country against enemies, seen and unseen. May God continue to bless America today as every day and long may our flag fly high as a sign that our country remains free.

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

Why We Attend — The Value of a Visitation

Mon, 01 Jul 2024 04:00:00 GMT

In the past few months, I’ve been hearing friends telling me that a former classmate had passed away unexpectedly, and how disappointed they were that a visitation had not been scheduled. In fact, the question of whether or not to hold a service was, for a while, That seemed entirely unfamiliar to me as it is such an expected part of funeral services that we deal with daily in our work lives.

Growing up, we’d always expect that the visitation time generally took place the afternoon or evening before the day of the funeral because so often people could only attend one or the other. Having two separate events provides two choices for couples whose job obligations require there be only one event they can attend separately rather than one day where time is fixed rather than fluid.

I believe that sometimes people think they are saving money by not having a visitation but of all the expenses that are most vital, setting up of a visitation is the second most important after deciding whether you prefer burial or cremation. We as caring people need to express our feelings when there is a loss. Whether we lose someone from our family or our daily work life, or a neighbor, people matter to us every day, and their absences are both significant and substantive.

We need to be able to come together as a group to acknowledge our loss and tell some good memories about our friend or colleague to be heard by many present. These stories are important because they add to, if not share, brand new sides of the personalities of people that are often unknown outside the place where you encounter them. Dave the neighbor may be a very different personality than Dave the coworker, to the delight of everyone who likes to learn something new.

What do you say or what do you hope to hear at a visitation? To be sure, for as many wonderful things that are said out loud one-to-one, it’s the notes and kind reassurances of having your loved one be remembered by others in their lifetimes that are the “forever” kind of memories.

And yet, the presence of a supportive group of people, of any size, around those who have lost a loved one means so much to the family that has sustained a loss. Time sort of becomes suspended as you see people who come in through our doors to greet you that bring good memories flooding back to mind. It could be a neighbor from the block on the very first home you bought 35 years ago who takes the time to come and see you, whose mere presence is comforting because they remember with respect that person you loved so dearly.

By far, it is “simply” your presence that is the best gift of all when you lose a family member or friend. For years after a funeral service, as a basis of time, you will remember who it was who drove three hours without stopping to be there at the service for your mutual loved one. It used to be a matter of regular discussion, how far someone came for the visitation and funeral. As a young person, I was not sure why the hours spent in travel “to” a funeral meant as much as it did, but today it makes sense. The fact that a person will take their time, the most precious commodity that we all have, to be there in person, means the world to us, especially as we need to have people around us who knew and cared about our loved ones. Fortunately, we do have the added opportunity to livestream funeral services, especially of benefit to the senior members of families who are not able to negotiate out-of-town travel due to long distances. At least on livestream, they help us share our burden of loss. Hearing, “I’m so sorry,” “We are all going to miss him or her,” and “We love you” means the world.

That is some of what is from the perspective of the grieving family member. For those of us who are grieving the loss as well, though perhaps not as intensely, the fact remains that we have a need in ourselves to share our grief also…and the visitation is a perfect opportunity to share hugs, words, and most of all time, even if it seems fleeting or brief. The funeral service is often held the next day following a visitation, so holding two separate events (even if they are on the same day) provides double the opportunity to participate in attending, particularly when every family has so many places to be at any given time during the week, the better the chance to be able to attend.

Time heals grief, there is no question. Time spent with others who loved those we love is truly time spent in celebration of a lifetime of friendship and caring. Only with the passage of time do the holes in our hearts begin to heal up as we gather together and acknowledge our loss. I’ll have more to say on this subject as time goes on, but this is on my mind for right now. The next time you have to make a choice about attending a visitation, perhaps keep in mind the words of one former student, “Never miss something that only happens once.” It will make a difference that you are there for those you care about.

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

The Love Wrapped Inside My Father’s Arms

Sun, 16 Jun 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Just looking at these two photos, separated by three decades, I’m overwhelmed to think of how it still just seems like yesterday that my dad was loading up the station wagon, ready to drive me and our soccer team all across the back roads of Texas as we competed across the state, trying our best to stand out.

When our children are presented to us right after they are born, we take extra care to swaddle them with both our arms, to fully protect them from any external harm. It’s no wonder, then, that when our youngsters see Mom or Dad approaching, their reaction is to open both of their little arms as wide as they can, as though they were an airplane soaring through the air.

Reaching their destination, they wrap those little arms tightly around our necks (if we are sitting) or our legs if we are standing. They hug like there’s no tomorrow and they don’t let go until they are sure you know how much they love you. Although I lost my dad early in my adult years, I was fortunate to have him as long as I did.

From the time that he could begin to show me how to grow up, my dad was always focused on preparing me for where we would go, who we could expect to see there, etc. He would let me know if new people were there, or whether we’d see old friends. Sometimes I catch myself doing that with Rowen as we go down the road to visit with friends.

I wonder whether growing up in “today’s world” will seem like a challenge to Rowen. I learned to tell time on a clock in our school classroom. Today we have digital readouts everywhere. Some things are important to learn in case our batteries wear down or the power goes out, so I’m making a list of things to teach him to learn at grass roots level, just as my dad taught me.

Mostly, the life lessons I remember are ones I observed from him and through his actions, rather than the words he said. To be sure, he lived his life as he believed and didn’t compromise his values for anyone. When he gave his word, he meant it. He learned that from his dad, too. Now, my father and his dad had a good relationship, but it was different than the one we shared and the one I share with Rowen. Four generations apart, I think Rowen and I do the most talking with words.

Every generation has a unique advantage in learning from the one before. I’m excited to think about the kind of creative adult he is going to grow into becoming. Rowen loves to read, and he loves to color. We share those traits for certain. When he is learning something for the first time, I try to be as patient with him as my dad was with me. Most importantly, the best lessons are ones learned over time, if they’re going to last a lifetime.

One thing that I can always count on is that children forgive if you make a mistake, as long as you are willing to admit that you did it. That’s an act of grace that they show us. If only we were as willing to admit our mistakes as children are. It’s been said that children really don’t know how to lie—they are guileless, which is refreshing, to be sure!

My greatest wish for Rowen, as he grows up, is that he finds the parenting that Chelsea and I are working to provide is understood as us doing our best, with love, to teach him skills and things about people that will bring him a lifetime of loving God and going to Him in prayer, in being thankful for what you have, and willing to work long, hard hours to keep it, and to remember that many people rely on our business to be there for them in times of the days and nights that might keep us from being present at some of the times that are important to them.

I take comfort in thinking that we are not alone in this part of parenting and that the generations who have gone before us have an active part in looking out for all those we love, as heavenly angels that we can count on to be with us on our journey.

Happy Father’s Day to all of you who have devoted a part of your lives to helping young people grow up safely and secure in the fact that they are loved, unconditionally, for the rest of their lives. Together we can make things better for this new and growing generation—one new lesson a day at a time.

May we never outgrow the joy and wonder of those amazing hugs.

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

Mother’s Day — A Promise of Remembrance

Sun, 12 May 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Of all the women in our lives, mothers certainly hold a position of supreme love and regard that often are set far above others we hold dear in life. Mothers are, frankly, our first very best friends and throughout life, others may come close but there’s a place that only they can hold dear in our hearts.

This Mother’s Day is special for Chelsea and I, naturally because we celebrate and honor the mother she is to our son Rowen. She is a superb mother, and it is a joy to watch the bond the two of them share every day when he is growing, learning, and flourishing. She creates a special world for all of us—she defines “family” to us. That’s just some of what moms do for us.

But this year, as we naturally think of our own mothers, we remember those who are not here, for the first time in fact. My mother, Lorene, lost her mother, Dolores, in November 2023 and so this is her first Mother’s Day without her, as it is for my uncles and their wives, all of whom adored her and shared in the caregiving of this special lady in the final years of her life.

Of course, Mom being the only daughter, they shared a special bond between them, and it made me so happy and proud to see that Rowen could be born into this world, knowing a second-generation family member and for her being able to hold him when he was born. I prize those multiple generation photos we take at different times in our lives, too. They last far beyond the years they were taken.

The more mature we become, the more occasions and gatherings and dates on the calendar mean to us. I remember the occasion of Rowen’s birth in one additional poignant way. That morning, we held the graveside service for my father’s mother, my grandmother Dian Jones, before we went to the hospital that afternoon so Rowen could be delivered that day. I like to think that Dian held him first.

We lost my mother’s mother, Dolores Bertrand, just last November and so this Mother’s Day is her first one without her mom. Chelsea and I are so grateful that we had as many years with Rowen’s great-grandmothers here as we had. Yes, we have many multigenerational photos for the scrapbooks but more importantly, Rowen knew there are many generations or “layers of love” that are all his to have, hold, and hug.

For many among us who have lost a parent, particularly a mother, whether recently or just last year, we recognize that there is a hole in our hearts that no one else can fill. We have room in our hearts to add many people there—one person is not needed to “replace” the loss of another. Rather, no one can take that certain loved one’s place. We just expand our circle of love to include everyone we can bring into our world who are there for us.

Our first love as children will always likely be a mother, but that woman may or may not have given birth to us. We can be so grateful for those who adopt children, for grandparents who step in to raise children when a parent falls ill or when their work responsibilities prevent them from being present at home all the time. We have aunts, great-aunts, and even dear neighbors who choose to be part of our worlds as we grow up, and we are all the richer for that.

As you reflect on the women in your life today, I join you in saluting the contributions of time, love, and care that they devoted to you and others you love. We are fortunate to have their love, for all our sakes. In these years long past childhood, I’m even more delighted that Rowen had even a small bit of precious time with his great-grandmothers and that his grandmother, my mom, Lorene, can be here with him as often as she is. After all the gifts that our mothers give us, besides the gift of life and love, is their time.

Hoping you enjoy time with your dear Mom or “just like a loving Mother” in your life.

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

Who Will Be Your Informant (When the time comes)?

Mon, 29 Apr 2024 04:00:00 GMT

In the past few weeks, I’ve heard from high school friends that two of our classmates had died. This is not uncommon by itself, but the surprise came as I learned that one of our classmates had died two years ago, and another some three months ago. Yet, not one person we knew in common had known of their passing before now, so none of us who grew up together had any idea that we’d lost two “of our own.” That meant sorrow upon sorrow at the delay in learning of their passing.

The question was asked of me: ‘Why are we just now learning of this?’ It’s as though my profession guarantees special insight on learning of people’s passing. That’s actually just not the case. It is up to individuals and families as to whether to publish a listing as basic as a death notice (no cost to families in the local paper) or an obituary in the local papers, which is where we all learn of the passing of friends and loved ones.

It’s a longtime sweet memory when a senior friend used to tell me, “Every morning when I wake up, I reach for the newspaper and turn to the obituaries. I look for my name and if I don’t see it, then I’m still here.” She was kidding of course, but the reality is that we all used to rely on the local papers to furnish obituary listings and information regarding memorial services and burials that were scheduled.

Today that is no longer a rule but a rarity. Take our own local paper, which publishes only three times a week, with the remainder of the information found online. There is a cost associated with publishing an obituary and anything beyond a death notice in the newspaper (their fee, not ours as a funeral home) and in tight economic times, many families have found that they don’t have sufficient funds to add in that cost. Funeral homes, however, still extend the courtesy to families to post service information and obituary tributes on our own websites.

And yet, this doesn’t solve the real problem—it is up to the family or the appointed legal next of kin to supply the information and approve its being shared with the public. If the responsible party fails to share the information, this is how you wind up not knowing that your high school classmate and decades-long friend passed away two years ago without your knowing until this week.

The more that high school classes gather for 10 ^th , 20 ^th , 25 ^th and 50 ^th reunions, these are the times and occasions when people catch up with one another’s lives. Christmas cards often contain important news of the passing of loved ones, but it’s up to us to keep in touch with the class secretaries or the school administrators who can inform all of us in annual newsletters or online.

Lives get so busy for so many of us; not everyone who grew up together in high school stays in the same city and state where we grew up. So, that makes it even tougher to keep up with our contemporaries.

One additional topic I’d like to emphasize is the proper use of social media to reflect current life status. You know you’ve had this happen to you before when you wake up and grab your coffee and look at your Facebook wall and see that it is the birthday of two of your friends that day. Only one of them is still alive, but both photos and names are staring back at you on the page. That is enough to shock you awake and it’s a very strange feeling. It’s one of instant denial when you know in your mind that friend is gone and yet here looking straight into your eyes is someone logically you know to be gone. Melancholy kicks in right away and you miss them again.

One of the duties that a family member or trusted friend can be called upon to do by you, in your lifetime, is to appoint them as your legacy contact for Facebook. Click here to learn how to go about turning a ‘live’ Facebook page into a Memorial page. Doing this will preserve all the photos and comments, memories of loved ones for a long term (theoretically permanently) to come rather than deleting their account entirely.

Others might prefer simply to shut down the page and delete the Facebook account of the person who passed away. The family or preappointed legacy contact are the official persons who have the right to request status changes within Facebook operations. Having the correct information out there on social media is a great start to keeping people who loved others apprised of your actual status, and prevent unwanted shocks when information is not updated timely.

Family members who hesitate to file death notices with the local newspaper might think about not only facilitating this happening (at no cost to the family), perhaps also writing a brief obituary and having your funeral home post it, with a photograph, on their web site for the long term for all to see. You can then get a link to that same funeral home official obituary page and share it on your own Facebook pages or send it to groups who would want to know and keep up with their hometown friends and family.

The first step, of course, is to decide who you will ask to be responsible for telling others of your passing. A phone list of people to call; another list of people to e-mail; and a social media posting can be made on your own pages by your designee and help post news of your passing when the time comes. Sometimes when life ends too soon and you leave teenagers as the oldest children, it does not always occur to them how important it is that longtime friends and old school classmates be informed as soon as possible.

In reality, the younger generation is often overwhelmed just dealing with your loss so by the time they think it might be useful or important to tell your longtime friends who no longer live here of your passing, weeks and months pass and soon, they get busy doing other things and that is how it can be as many as two years before someone learns of your passing.

If family chooses not to hold formal funerals or celebrations of life, or to have a formal burial, there is no chance of coming together to pay respects and offer tributes. People need to grieve, no matter what your final wishes are. Whether they gather in the presence of your survivors or on their own, it is really something to consider so that those who love you can know of your passing in a timely manner so they can make peace with your loss when the time comes. After all, your life matters to so many people, even if you don’t hear those specific words at times in your life. You make a difference in this world and a lasting impact. Just a few things to think about.

Joy in the Morning: Easter Blessings for All

Sun, 31 Mar 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Just as excitedly as children rush from their beds on Easter morning to see what might be awaiting them in their Easter baskets from the Easter bunny, adults have reason to approach this blessed Sunday with similar enthusiasm. The promise of the memory of the stone that was rolled back, revealing an empty tomb brings to all of us the reminder that Christ rose from the dead and God took him back home to be with him. The victory of the resurrection is our guarantee as adults that we can celebrate each year.

For children, it takes time and practice as parents, taking them to church, where they learn the lessons of Holy Week, and learn of Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Sunday.

It’s hard enough for adults to grasp the concept of the Holy Trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and God Incarnate as all three-in-one. You must understand as fact and truth that all three entities are the same, just in different formations, but I’m still trying to remember how our Sunday School teachers and my parents explained it to me.

As children, we rarely question adults about the answers they give when we ask questions of faith. Parents are always the source of information children ask to help them learn about God, Heaven, faith, and ultimately life and death. Last year Rowen understood that Easter meant the Easter bunny and a trip to church to thank God for giving us His son, Jesus, and that Jesus knew that God would let him die, and then take him to Heaven to be with God, healed and safe forever.

It takes a few years, though, before the telling and the retelling of the Easter story begins to make a dent in the memories of children. What they do remember, though, often is the glorious music that is played. We’re fortunate at the church our family belongs to that we have a wonderful music ministry. When special programs call for it, we have members who are our orchestra for the morning, who beautifully accompany and support the exceptional choir who performs at every single Easter service we set for our large membership.

There’s something that even children resonate with in hearing the anthems proclaimed on Easter. Think back to how it sounds when the brass accentuates the song, “Christ the Lord is Risen Today” and children know how to sing the “Alleluia” and the adults sing, “Earth and heaven in chorus say, Alleluia! “Sing ye heavens and earth reply, Alleluia.” Even if you’re not in the choir, it’s fun to sing along with hundreds of other people and feel the joy and renewal of spirit that Easter brings.

There are so many colors to the season of Easter. Pastels are popular for the eggs of every design, lots of white shirts and white pants and white socks for the kiddos. White lilies placed along the altars. Purple banners hanging from the rafters, signifying new life in the church. For the season of Easter, all things are made new again.

For the younger of the men, the clip-on ties make their debut until a few years from now when they learn to either wear a bow tie or tie their very first junior ties. The little girls have the shiniest of patent leather shoes it seems.

The Church often hosts an Easter egg hunt, in keeping with a tradition of sorts, but there is always time to distinguish between the mystique of the Easter bunny and the miracle of Jesus’ resurrection.

At some point in our growing up years, likely by the time between getting our third-grade Bibles and in our sixth-grade confirmation classes, we begin to examine more closely the life, lessons, death, and resurrection of our Lord. At different points in our lives, we might find ourselves trying to grasp the fundamentals of understanding Heavenly miracles and struggling. Children, however, seem to have absolutely no difficulty explaining resurrection to us as adults, if we’ve done a good job of explaining it to them.

Their version goes something like this: Jesus died on a cross for us. After he died, the skies grew dark and everyone was beyond sad, especially his parents and all those who loved him. They wrapped his body carefully in burial garments and laid him in a cave and a very heavy stone was rolled across the opening to keep a barrier between the outside and the shell of the body that remained lifeless.

Three days after his passing, women of the village went to the burial site and found the stone rolled back, and the gravesite wide open. Jesus’ body was no longer there. His Father had come from Heaven and taken Him back to Heaven with him and restored him to life once more. Just as it was written in the Bible. Jesus appeared to His disciples after His death to tell them what had happened. Although there was doubt at first, they became delighted to see Him alive again. We have that very same promise reassuring us that we will all be together again after this life, in Heaven, where there is no sorrow, no tears, no pain, and no mourning.

On this the annual observance of Easter, may we have the strength of faith of the children who derive their faith from us, and who do not question the accuracy, details, or specifics of the “how” of resurrection. Rather, they embrace that which is as written, and therefore is and always will be. May God bless you all abundantly in this season of renewal.

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

Teaching Our Children About Holy Week — Introduction to Palm Sunday

Sun, 24 Mar 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Now that our son Rowen is two years old, Chelsea and I are beginning to introduce him to the elements of a regular church worship service that occur with regularity each year. True, one can only make a preliminary impression on a youngster with respect to helping him or her understand the rituals we as adults have grown up with, all of our lives. The occasion of Palm Sunday gives us a chance to help Rowen know that on Palm Sunday, we are going to be seeing everyone we know waving a large palm frond as we come into the church.

As Sunday School classes make their way into the main church building, teachers and volunteers will hand them a palm frond or two. Excitedly, they will line up, wearing little pressed shirts and blouses and bright, happy smiles, thrilled to be doing something that the adults are doing.

In preparing for this event, we explain to Rowen that this is the week where Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey. He knew what this week would mean as the end of His life here on this Earth. Then, we tell him that this week we celebrate each year as “Holy Week,” the week in which it would mean that God would take his Son, Jesus, to be with Him in Heaven. When we do that, it means that, at least to our little man at age 2, we will all be together again in Heaven.

This fact of reassurance is extremely important to both Chelsea and me, because it was the very afternoon of the morning that we had a memorial service for my grandmother, Dian Jones, that I went to the hospital so the doctor could deliver Rowen that same day. In this most poignant example of the precious circle of life, the celebration of a new life ahead of us—our life with Owen—was made possible on the very same day that we had to acknowledge the passing of my dear grandmother.

As adults it is easy to forget when and how we first begin to understand and look forward to the hope of everlasting life beyond this Earth. Yet, in fact, it is when, as children, we begin to greet the beginning of Holy Week and the onset of Easter and life together again with God in Heaven that we have hope for every day of our lives ahead on this Earth.

So, as you have a chance to see the faces of the little cherubs holding their oversized palm fronds, waving them and smiling at you, keep in mind that you are seeing one of the very first steps toward their being Christians.

With your help, prayers, and encouragement, they will become amazing adults of faith in years to come. Help them shout and sing, “Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest!”

Social Media Footprints — Have You Planned for What Happens When You’re Not Here?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Over the years we’ve all become more friendly with social media, whether we’re texting our family and friends or whether or not we are adding a smiley face to the post of our latest grandchild playing a sport, and we share it on all our outlets too, because you know, we are proud!

Almost to a person, Facebook has now become where grandparents live and thrive, while children have jumped to Instagram and then over to TikTok, you’d be surprised to know that seniors are everywhere!

Statistics show that “55- to 65-year-olds make up 7.6% of Facebook’s user base, while those aged 65 and above represent just 6%” according to recent demographics . That’s as of approximately 250,000,000 Facebook users projected in 2024.

Think about your senior loved ones on Facebook — thanks to your encouragement, they

often have an important daily presence on at least Facebook, with very few on Twitter and a few more on Instagram.

Because Facebook gives you a chance to see photo collections, you are likely to enjoy sharing your photos or at least reviewing and clicking a response on the posts of your children and grandchildren. Particularly when seniors are geographically distant from their family can they enjoy your posted photo albums of baseball games, birthday celebrations, or other important and ceremonial occasions.

But, one day something happens, and the senior is no longer alive. Do you know how to get into the computer of your beloved senior to memorialize their Facebook page? Do you know what their wishes for deleting it immediately or delaying that by a few months to allow time for you to put a single notice up announcing their passing?

Are you aware that Facebook has a memorialization plan ? There’s a specific process you have to accomplish to make that person’s account a Memorial account. Have you designated someone to address all of your web presence? Do you know who you want going through your old e-mails and or online photo albums? We never think about these things when we are feeling good, but that is always the perfect time to think of them,

Add to the fact that frequently we all have more than one social media presence: Facebook, Messenger, Skype, Instagram, Threads, YouTube, and then there are the e-mail addresses, texts with family and friends to disengage, etc. It’s important to alert others through a mass mailing that your loved one has passed away or simply close the account, depending on your mutual wishes.

The eeriest feeling can happen, though, when you have forgotten to appoint someone to do this for you before you need it and then a photo memory pops up in your feed, reminding you that “today” is the birthday of your friend or family member. It can be downright off-putting, sorry to say, to see the happy, smiling face of your loved one staring back at you as though they were still here.

And as long as they are no longer here, it really is bet to take the straight-on approach and get that information published on the various Internet platforms where it will help the grieving process and acceptance of their passing. It won’t take more than 30 minutes to complete the process but you either must designate a successor to the account or shut it down as you start to leave active use of the computer, preparing to leave the online world just as you found it to be used.

Good luck and if you have any questions about what to do or how to do it, please give us a call and we can walk you through the steps.

The Language of Love: How Do You Say, “I Love You”?

Wed, 14 Feb 2024 05:00:00 GMT

Today is Valentine’s Day and for all who celebrate it is a day to say those three magic words which everyone of all ages loves to hear: “I love you!”

This one phrase is considered the best message to give and receive to anyone who truly loves another person unselfishly, unconditionally, and irrevocably. A child says it to a parent, and a parent says it to a child. A teenager in the budding phases of young love says it, often for the first time, with a new intonation to someone to whom they wish to give their hearts.

For as many times as we love to hear this phrase, each of us has our own special way of not only ‘saying’ our love to another person, but showing it as well. Many women find it easy to express their emotions in their various life stages. But for many men, it all depends on what they grew up hearing. If you hear it often, chances are good, you learn to say it frequently.

What did your grandfather say to your grandmother? Did you hear the words “My beloved,” or “My sweetheart,” or “My bride” even after your grandparents had been married over 50 years? Many couples who share a lifetime of love indeed address each other that way. Others have special names for each other that “mean” love rather than specifically reflect it. Still others can say “I love you” with just the change in their voices when they call out the names of the other one. You’d know it when you hear it.

Other men, though, have a unique way of saying it that does not involve those three words. I remember from reruns that TV’s Archie Bunker was legendary for never saying it back to Edith, whenever she said “Oh, I love you, Archie!” He’d say “Yeah,” and hug her back. One day when his son in law, Mike, complained, “Archie, you never tell Ma you love her!” He replied, “I said it to her once, Meathead, and that was the day we got married, and I meant it.” Eventually, Archie found his way to saying it (again) to Edith that day, and of course, that meant the world to her. In fact, the less we hear it, the more it seems we want to hear it.

Couples who have been together a long time can share their love and affection without words. The other evening there was a rerun of the Jeff Bridges and Barbra Streisand movie, “The Mirror Has Two Faces,” and Barbra Streisand realizes that Jeff is in love with her when he asks the waiter to bring her an extra salad dressing and to please keep both of them on the side. It’s the little things that people in love know and appreciate about their partners that prove their genuine affection without having to say “those other words.”

When we are children, we are more than happy to proclaim our love for people, for our favorite foods, our favorite TV shows, anything that bring us special peace and happiness in our lives. We use the word “love” to show our special attachment to something. For everything else, we have “like” or “don’t care” or in extreme cases, “don’t like” or “can’t stand.” That’s a general rating scale we begin with. To go to greater depth than those basic levels requires age and more experience.

The longer we live, the more we come to cherish the full nature of the people we love in our lives. We seek out people who are kind, fun, intelligent, happy, good listeners, faithful friends, hard workers, people who set high goals, people who are happy to belong to families and play an important role in that family.

In life, it is frequently said that “Opposites attract,” and to a certain extent, that’s true. People who are strong in one area tend to find confidence in people who are strong in another, and those who may be weaker in one thing can take confidence in another person who is strong in that area. Together they are an unbeatable pair.

I remember from science, “like attracts like.” That phrase usually applies in solution chemistry where similar components can dissolve in others that are alike enough to them to dissolve in. That’s where the phrase “likes dissolve likes” comes from, and if they are not soluble, then you see one separate phase of a liquid sitting on top of a phase of another liquid because they don’t dissolve into the other because they are not alike (nonpolar) (oil and water). So, it is in romance. On one hand you might a man who loves to talk is attracted to a quiet woman, or vice versa. In business, one person can be the one who deals with people and the other deals with numbers. Together you’re unbeatable!

Over years, romance strengthens and the words “I love you” are implied no matter how many times they are said out loud. Still, Valentine’s Day is a great opportunity to remember how nice it is to hear and how important to say them to all those whom we love.

You can say it with candy, with hearts, with flowers, and with great greeting cards. You can phone, Skype, Zoom, and FaceTime to get your message transmitted. Be sure that you say it often, whether or not it is Valentine’s Day, but this annual event is certainly a great reminder of a wonderful tradition.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you from our family to you!

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

Checking In on Your New Year’s Resolutions — Which Ones Have You Kept?

Sat, 10 Feb 2024 05:00:00 GMT

If you’re among the few, brave souls who began 2024 with a written list of things you planned, insisted, prayed, and determined to do this year—without ceasing—then congratulations for even having made a list in the first place! Not everyone has things they want to change but the occasion of writing a new year on paper offers an instant chance to redirect your priorities and set new goals for the future.

Goals without work and sacrifice are merely words. With hard work, time, patience, and dedication you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. And yet, you might be assessing your progress so far. As we get close to Valentine’s Day, we are reminded that we are about to reach those “first six weeks of the report card” on how we are doing this year compared to last. How is your resolution card working out?

Let’s see what your first resolution was—a good first guess is that you were going to give up something that you believed was a bad habit. Is it food-related? Did you resolve to give up sweets or snack treats for a fixed period of time? Was it related to weight loss?

Were you going to hit the gym every day? A renewed commitment to being your best self? So, how is it going? Has it been easy to give up the thing you enjoyed because it was not helping you be better? Was it hard to find a way to make time for the gym three times each week? Were you going to take walks in the neighborhood but the cold and the rain and the inevitable weather problems making it impossible to be outside for exercise?

As you start grading yourself on your goals for the new year, be honest and truthful with yourself while grading. And be kind. Perhaps you set too rigid a structure for “no” this or more of “that” in your time. These days virtually every hour of our day belongs to work, to family, to church, or to home. Doesn’t leave much time for yourself after you book yourself for the things you are already expected to do.

Were you going to clean out that pesky messy closet? Have you made any progress? One friend says they refuse to buy any new clothing item until they bag up two items to donate to their favorite charity. That’s a good policy. Not hard to follow.

Do you find stacks of paper still on your dining table in a “to be filed” category? You can start to help yourself if you break the stack of papers that you see as overwhelming into groups marked “urgent, handle now” and “no rush, you can look at them in a week or two” and “read and discard.” Now, does the stack look less daunting? That’s the best way to handle any problem, breaking it down into little pieces.

If you have not measured up to everything you promised yourself you’d do differently in 2024, before you get down on yourself, realize that to even think about making changes in your life is a great first step! Now, no one is perfect and the first time you try a new behavior you may not succeed. Like playing the piano, or succeeding in sports, or learning to paint with watercolors, the key is practice, practice, practice. So are resolutions. They are just a series of promises you make to yourself.

In life, you don’t want to let others down when you promise them something. If you tell your child you’re going to be at their school play performance, you want to be there. That’s not optional. So, if you promise yourself to go to the doctor to check out something that has been bothering you, don’t delay. Call and get an appointment and make yourself a priority, just as you would your best friend. In fact, be your own best friend and take care of yourself first so there is a strong, healthy you to take care of others.

If you’ve been sad and isolated during bad weather and find yourself making excuses not to get outside in the good weather, it’s time to realize that we all can fall into habits of what is easier, what is simpler to do when we have choices. It’s not hard to make a change. It can be a challenge, though, to make that same change over and over enough to where it is a fixed new behavior. But we learn.

Next step to correcting slipping from achieving your goals is to get up, dust yourself off, and try again. Don’t waste time on the failure you leave behind you. Every day is a clean slate, a tabula rasa, as they say. Celebrate one success at a time. Enjoy positive self-talk and encourage yourself to find time to focus on improving the things you want to have happen. Pronouncing yourself a success helps you code into your mind that you are a success.

Make yourself accountable to your spouse or best friend. Use the buddy system when you want to change something or start a positive new behavior. It helps to have someone else encouraging you as you go along.

Set weekly times to see how you did that previous week in working toward your goals. Make a detailed list of all the changes and improvements you want to make. Then order the list in terms of what has to be done first, second, and third before those goals are achieved. There’s power each time you make a check mark on the list.

With a weekly check-in session, between now and the next six weeks you have six different opportunities to win, change, improve, correct, clean, organize, lose, and to start being kinder to yourself to celebrate your incremental successes along the way. Positive self-talk is key at every point along the way. Soon you will see a new you, a new home environment, and there is beauty in order. Good luck and here’s to wishing you a Happy New Year one more time! You’ve got this!

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

Holidays in Your Heart—Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow

Mon, 01 Jan 2024 05:00:00 GMT

By now, in your households, the gentle quiet, peace, and calm that was yours prior to the start of the winter holiday season has been restored or is almost there today. For those with families, we have potentially shared hours of remembrance of days of our youth with those of other generations in our families. If we have not been together in person, thanks to Skype, Zoom, and Facetime, some virtual gatherings occurred as well. Togetherness is always the theme of our holiday season, and the love of family is something we can count on to make our days better.

For many of us, we have blended families at the holiday season and as a wise grandparent used to say, “There’s more of us to love this year!” Others were missing key family leaders—matriarchs and patriarchs—who were central to the location and timing of our gatherings. A grandparent or their generation is usually the top of the pyramid by which people collect and when they are gone, it’s so easy for individual families to scatter to other directions, or think about where they personally prefer to be, rather than always heading home to grandparents’ destinations.

The losses we have sustained do not escape us, though. It is different, and it is unique for the first year we are without ones we count on so strongly to “make” our holidays just like they always were, are no longer with us. Our reactions vary, from being able to speak out loud of those who are new to the family, just as much as those who are missing this year. A family member will often step up and take a role as a leader for a new generation to gather.

Photographs are taken for all the special occasions, and these are the treasures we preserve to pass on and share with future generations to come. In the “old days” photographs were prints placed carefully in scrapbooks, either the paper pages with the little black triangular corners to anchor them in, or behind individually peeled back pieces of plastic that go across the placed pictures to seal them away from the air that could ultimately cause them to disintegrate, fade, or age with time.

At such family gatherings, it becomes so important to get our senior family to sit with us and identify all the people in the photographs (and then write them on the back of the photos) to explain who the people are and where they fit in to our family and friends like extended family. Stories of how people came into the family, when and where, are another integral part of our family history that will be shared forever for generations to come.

Making sure we have peoples’ best recollections is key, particularly when adult memories are sharpest. As newer, younger adults, we often think we have forever to ask our senior family about the days of their childhood, what it was like growing up, and how it seemed that their hopes and dreams were realized. No matter what generation we’re considering—the Greatest Generation, the Baby Boomers, Generation X, Y, or Z, there are always factors that impact our lives in a particular decade.

Although there are times when we think we have it rough, it is nowhere nearly as challenging as the generations before us. The problems are equal in emotional impact, perhaps, but in reality, we are better prepared with each passing year to accept and accomplish challenges we face, thanks to technology, opportunity, or breakthroughs in medicine.

For example, in the 1970s in Bryan-College Station, any person with a serious heart condition had to drive regularly to Houston for appointments, cardiac care, all operations, and recuperation before coming home. Today we are spoiled by having a vast riches of the most gifted physicians, nurses, and medical personnel here living and working among us. Equipment is readily available to give us superb scans within minutes, far beyond our wildest imagination at the time.

The next decade we face, even the next six years until 2030 will be filled with new inventions, technological breakthroughs, and solutions we haven’t even considered yet. What will become future yesteryears” we cannot even imagine. It is so important to make audio, video, and permanent records of today, now, to have to compare and contrast against for generations we have not even yet given thought to. Tomorrow’s holiday memories have yet to come, but they will all be based on the yesterdays those older than us have left us as their treasures to remember forever.

As you glance around your living room this week, and you hear the gentle echoes of children’s voices raising when they enjoyed cookies, package discovery and unwrapping, you see shadows of their tiptoeing around trying to catch a glimpse of Santa, if they could, hold those memories close in your heart. Journal about them if you will take a few minutes, and 25 years from now, those children will be sitting in your living room, with children of their own, and will be delighted to have a record of what they were like at “that age.”

Thank you for all your faith and confidence in our family in 2023. You honor us with choosing us to care for your family in one of the most important times of your lives.

The best gift you can offer the future is to record the past, today, in great detail, to preserve history for generations to come. It is truly a gift that does keep on giving. As Carly Simon once sang, “Stay right here ‘cause these are the good ol’ days. These are the good ol’ days.” Wishing all of you a blessed, bright 2024 ahead. From my family to yours, Happy New Year!

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

Holiday Joys, Decorations, and Traditions — What if a Loved One is Missing?

Sun, 24 Dec 2023 05:00:00 GMT

Every year at this time, there comes a point at which we stop our hustling and bustling to do everything on our lists of things to do in preparing for family and guests to join us for the holidays. It may be only a brief stop as we realize that we forgot to get a gift for Aunt Emma, who never fails to bring gifts for all of us. Or, we might have left the grocery store with nine bags of ingredients for Christmas dinner, but we forgot the eggnog. Something has to give. Is it just me or do you find yourself thinking back to when times “seemed” simpler and easier to navigate?

Yet, was it really that simple a time, or were we simply more satisfied with how we were accomplishing everything on our list? It seems that the families who begin decorating their homes for the holidays right after Turkey dinner is over are the happiest about seeing Christmas arrive. They embrace their “inner Christmas” spirit, and out comes the outdoor lights and because there is typically good weather, it’s perfect to climb around on the roof and connect all the bulbs from last year. One of my favorite commercials this year is a family home decorated with outdoor lights that take the word “Extreme” to a new level. The house right next to it has one simple word blazing in stand-up lights: “Ditto.” Poignant.

What are we trying to say to ourselves and to our families by the traditions we make? Do we string the Christmas cards we get across the mantle or place them atop the mantle to keep track of who has communicated with us? Even though greeting cards are being sent more often these days, there’s something special about holding a card we’d rescued from the mail stack of boring bills to bring a smile and a promise to renew our hearts and mind about the reason for the season of giving and glorious and unconditional love. How many stockings hang in our home this year?

In the Bryan-College Station area, we have seven counties that our outreach impacts each year at this time. The Salvation Army has its annual angel tree. This year, all of the angels in need (student and Salvation Army families alike) have the opportunity to grow up and believe In the kindness of the people where they live. Countless bikes, toys, jackets and other wearing apparel that these children not only need, but want, are gathered and assembled by volunteers. This means something special to us as we shop for the children whose names we pulled. Let’s face it, when we know that what we do matters, that we can help others in need really makes a difference, it’s a great feeling. Our volunteering matters.

Are you missing a loved one for the first time this Christmas? Some families like to represent the missing family member with an empty chair in the place where they always used to sit. There’s a significance in the absence of that person. Other people have a tradition where they invite someone who is all alone at the holidays to sit in the “missing you” chair. It fills two opportunities to make someone alone feel less lonely and to fill the empty space at the table.

Every passing of a patriarch or matriarch of a family is unique. No one can tell you what is right for you except yourself. The traditions you set and continue each year are those that your children will always remember as being yours, and then they will make that a part of their traditions as they get their own homes.

If your banquet table is full, if your kitchen is overflowing, and if you find your home the busiest time of year ever, then your holiday is truly blessed. Be sure to take photos to keep for years from now to remember when all this generation’s children are grown and return with children of their own. And if your table is missing a loved one or two this year, reach back for those photo albums and slowly go through the pages. Close your eyes and open your heart to the days when all your loved ones were around you and feel the love that never dies. It transcends generations before and will last all the way through your generations to come. God bless you at Christmas, and every day in the coming year.

From our family to yours, Merry Christmas!

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

When the Matriarch is Missing from Thanksgiving This Year, Who Will Fill Her Shoes?

Thu, 23 Nov 2023 05:00:00 GMT

For many people, including myself this year, Thanksgiving is happening without the presence of my maternal grandmother, and it has given me an opportunity, in the past few weeks since her passing, to actually reflect on something that I have not thought of in a long time—the passing of the torch to the next generation.

That’s a phrase we use often—“Passing the torch” and we use it to convey a tradition, a ritual, and a ceremony whereby “the old order gives way, giving rise to the new” as it does when every life takes on a new dimension.

Why is it we can be fully adult in the ages on our driver’s licenses, but when the family matriarch passes away, our minds race back to times when we were either in preschool or elementary school, at the “little kids table,” observing the hustle and bustle of the grownups all around us, rushing to bring in things from the oven and gather everyone for a prayer and the chance to enjoy the labors of love that came together for our Thanksgiving meal.

It never once has born any resemblance to the type of Thanksgiving our nation’s earliest settlers once celebrated, but the thought of thanks is the same, throughout the generations. As long as there has been life, there are always levels of ability to do, to be, to help, and to show the way to the ones coming up behind us. For most of our generations, we have tended to rely on the matriarchs of the family as the “glue that holds the family together.” Traditionally, this means that she is the one who is expected to host the family gathering each year and everyone then plans to arrive at her place and either bring their families, and a signature casserole dish or two, or all of the above.

The meaning of family also extends to signature dishes from our specific family members. Over the years, the family gatherings count on various relatives preparing a dish or two where they really shine and stand out. Meals are Southern ways of sharing and showing love to your family and you plan these events weeks if not months in advance. Shopping is rarely last minute as you know there are many folks counting on having at least one or two bites of their favorite dish from you.

The matriarch is the chief coordinator for all this, however, and when she is no longer among us, there is a vast chasm, not a hole, in our hearts because she was the one person whose responsibility it was to bring everyone together. Without her presence, each one of us can come up with one good reason or another why we can be somewhere else this year, not together with our entire family.

That’s what it seems like, I think. When the matriarch is gone, there’s no heir apparent to step into her shoes. If she has one or more daughters, there’s no reason to assume that they can fill that role automatically because the matriarch has held that spot for decades, most likely. It’s like the span of time and process that King Charles took in ascending the throne after his mother’s passing. You just don’t step up to preside. Too many feelings at stake.

The family staying together, though, is a critical formula for preserving generational traditions and history of the family as stories are shared, and retold year after year until the younger generations start paying close attention and retaining the stories that they will ultimately grow to tell their children and grandchildren.

Rarely does a family homestead property, most frequently the gathering site for holidays, remain available and vacant for future generations. If the house is too big to be the home of a surviving spouse with no one else, it is typically sold and the remaining senior moves to a more realistic size property where they don’t have to apply such intense care and maintenance. Understandable.

But what happens to the traditions? You do have options to preserve them. If you still have your matriarchs among you, grab your phone or your video camera and commit those reflections and important stories to video. Generations to come will be forever grateful to you for doing that. Write down what your loved ones tell you. If history is recorded in a family Bible, make sure you have photocopies made and preserved in a safe location so that you always have backup in case of fire or accident.

Next, there is rarely one person anymore who can step in or step up when the generational family matriarch is gone. There does exist an opportunity, though, for people to help tell her story. Sitting around the dining table before dinner, or in the living room and den relaxing is a good time to tell stories about her. Mostly they are stories of patience, as it takes a while for new members of the family, especially those among us from Southern families, to understand the composition of families.

The matriarch is the lynchpin that connects everyone together. She may be the only member of the family to have everyone’s phone numbers. Likely she has memorized them, or they are in her telephone record book. (Quick: do you know where she keeps hers?) Next, she has likely not written down who in the family brings what each year to a family gathering. She knows it in her head and does not need o have it committed to paper. That’s a factor that has to change when she passes away.

You can think back to last year’s gathering. Who brought what? Who bought what? Who made what and contributed it? For the youngsters, it’s always a great chance for them to hang out in the family kitchen as a typical matriarch will have the patience to encourage them to start their baking careers on something easy at first. As time passes, and with extensive practice, good cooks become great cooks. However, one secret is the ingredient of togetherness. When family and extended family come together, THAT is the magic ingredient that no one expects will make the difference between a good meal and a grand meal and celebration time.

Yes, this time, the shoes are empty, but the memories are plentiful. One person does not have to step up immediately and even try to pretend that they can take the place of, fill the shoes of, or even want to try to accept the responsibility of the person who coordinates bringing everyone together.

The passing years always present opportunities for families to “scatter to the four winds” once the matriarch has concluded her time on earth. It can be a solid thing for new generations to build new family traditions of their own. Other situations in other families may well have some toxic guests and family members who can singlehandedly ruin any and all family gatherings.

Those situations unfortunately are just as real as the Hallmark kind of holiday we love to watch on television. Be aware, too, that these exist. When you have friends who are widowed or unmarried, through death or divorce, there are many people considered “stragglers” who love being invited to your family’s gathering because they can experience the intergenerational fun and hear the laughter of people enjoying low-key fun and good times together.

It is never money, the size of the house, the array of foods on a table, or anything else that can be measured in volume that defines the love that the matriarch brings to her family. It’s the time in caring and sharing herself with each one in the family that lets them know they are loved, values, necessary, and instrumental to the family. We all have the power and ability to do that for our family members.

However many are gathered together this Thanksgiving, even if you are separated from many of those you miss with all your hearts, even the family matriarch, please remember the very best times of days gone by and do whatever you can to recreate that joy for those around you in the “here and now.” We only have today, this day, to celebrate. We are not guaranteed tomorrow. So, in the name of all that is holy, may God bless each of you this Thanksgiving season and may your hearts be healed when your matriarch is missing from around the family table this year.

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

Veterans Begin Life as Young People Who Want to Make a Difference

Sat, 11 Nov 2023 05:00:00 GMT

Look deep into the eyes of a Veteran today. It’s not hard to find one across the Brazos Valley. For those over 60 years old, chances are good that they are wearing a ball cap with their service insignia on the bill. Maybe they are wearing an old service jacket to stay warm in our newly cold air outside.

Maybe there’s a look on their face of solitude and solemnity this day that has them quieter than usual…reflecting on a time where they all committed the same first step. They had a desire to make a difference in the world around them. The first Veterans Day was established at the end of World War I and is celebrated every November 11 ^th .

Military service during wartime is not a choice, but a necessity. Yet, in the past there was never a problem getting people to volunteer to enlist. In fact, many young men lied about their ages to actually gain entry into service rather than seek to find some convenient reason they could not serve their country. Many times those who might have a physical impediment that kept them from active military duty still found a way in other branches to be of service from the ground or behind a desk, all because they shared that same desire to serve.

In some families, military service is generational and it’s a natural expectation that sons and daughters will follow in their parents’ footsteps and enlist in a particular branch of service. For others who are the first in their families to enlist, the military is one of the best prospects to learn an important, relevant trade and to earn funds to continue education after military service is concluded. For other young people, service is the first choice for what to do after high school graduation. The prospect of leaving home for lands and towns unknown presents an attractive and exciting challenge on its own.

Military service means a keen sense of discipline is needed and expected. This new kind of lifestyle where one has little free choice and must follow the orders of those ranking above them is a great way to understand how business works, as many contemporary business organizations follow a top-down management and leadership style, where seniority and longevity mean ultimate promotion unless unusual circumstances enter.

The oath of enlistment and oath for commissioned officers into military service is simple, but profound:

“I, _____, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.”

This same simple oath is taken by all patriots who enter our armed forces. This oath is sincere and offered with no reservations and those who agree to it are expected to live up to it…defending our country against all enemies, being loyal to the United States above all other countries, and to support our country. In that oath, each service person is uniquely alike in their mission.

Especially as we are in a day and time where our friends and neighbors and allies are in the midst of war, some of which we are supporting with our personnel and funds, we remember the sacrifices that are being made in the name of military service to the United States of America. It is who we are and what we do as Americans and patriots.

This Veterans Day means something special to all who have served, and to their families, who with the service person support their choice for entering the service to our country. They are due our greatest thanks, our admiration, and our salutes when we remember their gifts to us in serving. When you see someone in a ball cap as a retired service person, or if you see someone in active duty uniform today, please take a moment to stop them and say, “Thank you for your service.” Without them, we would not be the great nation we are today. God bless all of you on this Veterans Day.

When a Child Loses a Parent too Soon — How Can You Help?

Fri, 27 Oct 2023 04:00:00 GMT

It’s hard enough growing up in today’s world. So many choices, and so many come too soon, it takes both parents focusing hard on a child’s well-being to help them navigate the 21 ^st century speed of life. Things our parents never expected us to have to think about at age 11 or age 15 are things they now encounter in their daily choices years sooner.

When a child experiences the loss of a parent due to their sudden passing or as the result of a lingering illness, they have a limited amount of understanding and resilience about how to be strong in the face of adversity and true pain. One of two constants in their lives that they counted on from their beginning is now, suddenly, gone, never to be seen again.

At any point in childhood, the means of coping with a parent’s death depends on three things: a) a faith structure of the family, b) the role of other adults in their lives, and c) the age that the child has to accept the parent’s passing and ability to cope.

The younger the child, the easier the acceptance comes that either Mom or Dad is not here anymore. Sometimes the loss of a parent by divorce is the same as when they pass away if that other parent is no longer going to be a part of the child’s life anymore. Until a real routine gets established, whether it is beginning at kindergarten age and ritual of daily life goes on, or whether in infancy, the absence or presence of one more person going in or out of the life pattern you know is simply a change.

As a child gets older and develops a long-term personal identification and relationship with the person named Mom and Dad and identifies with that person as “theirs,” then that serious bonding has been creating that sets up as a real loss when one of those key people in their life is gone. In fortunate situations, grandparents and aunts and uncles also play key roles in the daily presence of children’s lives to the extent that a child’s world is changed drastically or minimally.

Rationalizing the absence of a parent is a coping mechanism that children use to get through day-to-day life. Emotionally speaking, the absence of a parent is something that a primary surviving parent cannot make up for as if the loss does not seem real. However, the sincerity of love can fill the void of their loss. It’s not a matter of having to double up to make it “not matter” that the other person is not there.

In fact, it is important to acknowledge the loss to that child, from the very beginning of the time where they can understand that there is a loss. Photographs of the missing parent, with the child, help that child to know there was another person in their life who loved them very much. And to understand that the person is no longer there, not because they didn’t want to be, but instead because they could not impact their leaving, is important. The presence of other family members and extended family can also help to fill in information gaps, to teach a child how much they are indeed like that “other parent” in the way they look, or sound, or speak, or are kind, or are talented in one area or another.

In life, we all build a self-image and self-concept based on a series of benchmarks that we see and that we like about ourselves and others. We emulate the good things we see about other people, and we reject things we see that we don’t like. Each of us is an amalgamation of faith and experiences that give us a playbook of things we pick and choose for our own lives when we are of age to make those decisions.

For the sake of closure, if a child loses a parent before the age of 21, there should be a ceremony, formal or informal, in a church or in a funeral home, or offsite on family property, where tribute is paid to the life of the person who was an integral means of bringing that child into the world. Some women die in childbirth, others have chronic diseases that take them away from their family too soon, others can die in a freak accident. Here today, gone tomorrow, with no time to prepare for a loss. In any setting, studies have shown the importance of acknowledging that absence as a true loss.

Some parents choose to skip having a formal funeral because they can barely deal with the grief themselves. They don’t want to be surrounded by people who are trying to comfort them because it makes the loss all the more real to them, and that’s a pain they are not prepared to handle. If you have family members like that, it helps to encourage them to go ahead with a ceremony or service of passage, to begin closure for their child, if not for themselves. Otherwise, there is a continuing sense of “something missing” that the child cannot put their finger on, but they know they didn’t have what others did.

Especially in these days when teenagers are in school with children, who for one tragic reason or another, a parent takes their own life, and the parent who sat to their parents in school assemblies is no longer there every day—there’s a loss that a classmate can relate to with their classmate.

That same parent they may have seen on campus dropping off their classmate for eight consecutive years, that they thought they knew, generally if not well, is gone. A ceremony helps with closure, and in fact, having many children who are friends or even acquaintances of that child can bring a classmate comfort just to see. Hearing from them that they liked or cared deeply about your parent is important, as it validates that they lived.

In cases where someone was harder to get to know or more of a loner, it helps a child to hear that that child’s classmate is sorry for their loss…the life they knew, if even briefly, counted. It cannot be emphasized enough how closure is the prelude to healing when a child loses a parent. Saying that parent’s name out loud, even if preceded with Mrs. Nolan or Mr. Everly or whatever their name, brings a vivid memory back to life.

For a mature child, from high school age to full adult, one published resource is “ When Parents Die: A Guide for Adults ” by Edward Myers. Although the book was revised and updated as long ago as 1997, frankly, it remains one of the most logical and practical ways of identifying and coping with all of the variety of emotions and feelings that come over you when that most important person, either by omission or commission in your lifetime with them, is gone. Things left unsaid. Advice not given. Memories not shared. Wisdom not recorded. These are areas of regret that come about when the child/adult is unprepared for the parent’s imminent absence from their daily life.

If a parent is aware that their days on earth are coming to an end, one thing you can do now, today, while you are able, is to write letters, leave notes, make voice recordings, use your phone to save many videos for your loved ones to have when you are no longer here. The gifts you leave like that can be saved back for your loved ones’ special occasions, such as high school graduation, college graduation, future/ultimate weddings, birth of a child, etc. That is something that will also bring someone comfort who finds their lifetime coming to an end more quickly than they had imagined.

Remembering and acknowledging the birthday of a friend’s parent or the anniversary of their passing (at least for the first few years) is also key to helping the grieving child cope. Saying it out loud, that “this is the day” of birth or death helps cement that yes, it is real, and yes, it is sad, but yes, it means that there was an amazing, special person they knew who created a series of memories and shared experiences together with that child that can replayed in their mind. Familiarity and repetition make an impact, eventually. Time brings healing. Time brings smiles where there were once tears. And your patience and ongoing, continuing friendship to your friends who have lost parents will make a difference that only you can make.

For the companion parent, there will eventually be a time when their life and daily routine will change. The process of possibly introducing a second parental figure into a marriage will happen and as long as the child knows that their birth parent will always be remembered and regarded will help ease the pain of what they can easily misconstrue as “taking mom’s or dad’s place,” when in fact no one can take the place of a person you loved who has died. You can add someone into your heart, but no one takes that other person’s place—ever. It takes time and experience to understand that, of course. We all do the best we can when there is a loss. The best case solution for a child who loses a parent, though, is persistence and patience in just simply being there for your friends and family. Friends you know who have been through this process can be a valued asset, so be sure to talk to them for advice if they are willing to share.

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

Comforting a Friend in the Loss of Their Child

Wed, 18 Oct 2023 04:00:00 GMT

There is perhaps no loss as devastating as the loss of a child as challenging times we face in our lifetimes as adults. We never expect them to precede us in life. We have fixed and firm opinions about how life is supposed to proceed. And yet, when we are faced with the loss of a child, a nephew or niece, a grandchild, or your best friend loses their child—what can we do to help them cope in those times?

As all of us know who have spent time searching through cards in stores, few sympathy cards even begin to touch what we want to say, how we feel, and how much we love those who are sustaining the loss of a child.

This passing can happen prior to childbirth, or in infancy due to unexpected illness, or to other circumstances that we don’t even want to imagine. If you’ve ever been through this in your lifetime you know that there are no words anyway that can make things better. Only time, and the presence of loved ones around you, encouraging you, just being there without saying anything special, can make a difference.

Whenever a parent can find the voice to discuss the loss, as a relative or friend, simply listening to them share their memories or their hopes, dreams, and expectations of what life could have been like for their loved one will be a beginning in the steps toward healing.

Remembering the child’s days of birth and passing each year and marking it with your loved ones in a way that is respectful, yet it shows that you are remembering with them the loss of their precious child can help to ease the memories.

Photographs that exist can be combined into collages if the child lived through young adulthood. Memory books help to organize their life into permanent history for the family to have and hold forever. Audio and video recordings that are preserved and collected comprise an important part of the history of that member of their generation and who occupies an important place on their family tree.

To be remembered is so important—that a young person was here, impacted the lives of his or her parents, grandparents, aunts, siblings, friends, and strangers alike is to have made a solid imprint on the face of the earth. Knowing that this imprint is permanent and will not be forgotten is so important.

At Callaway-Jones, we often ask the question, “How will you be remembered?” And by that we mean how can you describe how different your life is because the one you love lived here on Earth for as long as they had here among us? Who did they impact? Whose lives did they enrich by their sweet countenance? Does a sibling know they were influenced and impacted by the example their sibling once had shown, to help guide their way?

As our children grow, each day, we can see how fast they have learned the lessons of the day, whether at home from us, at school from teachers and students alike, at work, from bosses and good examples of leadership, and finally, as they grow to become parents themselves, possibly. Put together, every life we meet makes a difference in this world. You mean the world to someone just as they are to you.

With the passage of time and the progression of life, the number of people in our immediate surroundings grows and expands to meet the number of things we are learning and doing. So many examples of how to have faith in the loss of a child around us. They’re our neighbors and friends at school and at church. They work with us in our jobs every day and we don’t even stop to think about their loss until we sustain one of our own. It’s important to reach out for help to those with the experience that is the same as ours, which we never might have considered otherwise. When you have someone to walk down the same path as you are walking, it makes the journey a little easier.

If you have experienced the loss of a child, as you heal—only with the passage of time and the grace that comes from learning to focus on the time you may have had with your loved one on Earth—will peace evolve. It may come and go for a while. A memory, a song, a sight, or an incident may trigger a flood of memories to handle out of the blue. And our coping mechanisms become more sophisticated with time.

For those of faith, there is the element of prayer that we can count on. Time, as we all know, works its way through the fabric of our lives and offers us consolation and memories. The holes in our hearts may never go ‘away’ but love fills the gap until the healing is complete. Your presence in the daily lives of those who have lost a child, is “enough” to make a difference, to help, and to heal. Your faithful friendship is irreplaceable and immeasurable and will always be appreciated.

OPAS Season 51 promises to be ASTONISHING! Music Will Fill the Rudder Complex

Tue, 03 Oct 2023 04:00:00 GMT

There’s no way to expect that the team at Texas A&M’s MSC OPAS could surpass last year’s 50 ^th anniversary season, but they have, and they’ve already sold out a special event in March 2024!

Season 51 begins this evening at Rudder Auditorium, with The Barricade Boys’ West End Party. If you like the harmonies of four singers who perform Motown to doo wop to rock and roll, this is the concert to kick off the season in Rudder Auditorium. Students can still get $10 rush tickets if you haven’t purchased yours yet.

Then, if you are ready for the comedy of Tina Fey, you have two chances to catch the musical comedy, “Mean Girls,” and you can imagine the dialogue and music that will accompany the story of a group of performers who sing and dance their way into poking fun at the girls who picked on everyone during those growing up days. November 1 and 2. Ann Cobb Wiatt Main Stage.

Two weeks later, get ready for Jesus Christ Superstar and go back to 1970 and remember the lyrics of the musical that Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber created, and some 52 years later is still going strong. Who can forget “I Don’t Know How to Love Him” and “Superstar”? (note: Mature audiences). November 15 and 16. Ann Cobb Wiatt Main Stage.

Just in time for the Holidays, there’s Cirque Dreams Holidaze, where Broadway meets circus arts. The entire family will be enthralled with this amazing production. December 5 and 6. Ann Cobb Wiatt Main Stage.

In Spring 2024, get ready for Richard Thomas to star as Atticus Finch in Harper Lee’s “To Kill a Mockingbird,” with the script by Aaron Sorkin, directed by Bart Sher. Mature audiences will appreciate this one. January 16 and 17, 2024. Ann Cobb Wiatt Main Stage.

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, treat your ladies to “Little Women” and enjoy the rich history of Louisa May Alcott’s creation of life in a large American family. For all audiences. February 13 and 14. Ann Cobb Wiatt Main Stage.

The final show of the series is a musical “Come From Away” that takes you to a town of 7,000 stranded passengers and a small town in Newfoundland that welcomes them. As described, “On 9/11, the world stopped. On 9/12, their stories moved us all.” June 25 and 26. Ann Cobb Wiatt Main Stage.

Two “Singular Sensations” are “The Doo Wop Project with a night of immersion in 1950s harmonies and smooth dance steps set to old and new songs alike. February 21.

If you are multilingual then you can sing along in any one of 25 languages for the evening called “Pink Martini,” where 12 musicians will blow your mind with jazz, world music, cabaret, and film scores from the ‘50s,” and yes, you can sing along! March 21.

Three entries in the Intimate Gatherings Series include: singer Stacey Kent (October 18) for a night of jazz from a stunning vocalist who has sold over 2,000,000 albums internationally. Then, Voctave takes the stage November 9, with 11 singers who deliver a cappella versions of songs from “the corner of Broadway and Main Street.” They’re all across social media so you’ve seen them there. Now see them here, November 9. Finally, Forever Young rounds out the series with vocalists who combine songs from The Beatles to Billy Joel, from Johnny Cash to Brooks & Dunn and Bon Jovi to boot. There’s a story to go with the music that you’ll enjoy. All Intimate Gatherings performances are in Rudder Theatre.

Two special events define the season. Bluey’s Big Play is set for March 2 and 3, 2024 and every child in the Brazos Valley likely knows the TV show, but this is a full-scale stage show presented by the BBC Studios and Andrew Kay with Windmill Theatre. This production is one sponsored by OPAS encore, the fund-raising guild of the MSC Opera and Performing Arts Society, where your donations and gifts go to make possible extraordinary programming for children as their mission.

A few days later, if you were smart and moved fast enough, or were already a season ticketholder, you knew about “An Evening with Yo-Yo Ma,” set for March 6, 2024. He returns to Texas A&M after 20 years and of course the evening is sold out. People are definitely hoping to find tickets available, so if your schedule changes, don’t be shy. Please contact the MSC OPAS ticket office and let them know! Something like this doesn’t last long in the “availability” department for sure, and true to form, the Aggie community moved fast and snapped up the available tickets. Another good reason to be a season ticketholder, right?

The entire season is made possible by a largely unseen group of dedicated volunteers who work year-round to plan for the coming year. Funds are raised by special events including the annual OPAS Gala each January, and other special events in the year. OPAS Executive Director Anne Black has had substantial experience in programming outstanding seasons of entertainment and works closely with an OPAS Board of Directors and her outstanding staff to make all this happen.

Callaway-Jones is proud to be one of many community sponsors each season as they bring so much of the arts to the Brazos Valley, and we don’t have to drive all the way to Austin or Houston for “big city” programs! Our deep thanks to OPAS volunteers and we’ll see you soon at Rudder! For tickets and all program information, visit https://www.opastickets.org/

The Charm of Serene Country Cemeteries

Mon, 02 Oct 2023 04:00:00 GMT

If you love exploring the history of small towns in Texas, one of the places you will find time well spent is in the older, smaller family cemeteries that line the beautiful Texas countryside. In and around the Brazos Valley, you can discover some amazing places that families have called their “family resting places” for several generations. It’s not always easy to find an available space if you’re looking for a place to call yours when the time comes, but it’s always worth looking to see what is there.

As you go up toward Rudder Freeway on Boonville Road, you’ll pass the beautiful Boonville Cemetery, but you already have to have a plot there as they’re all sold and accounted for. Smaller Brazos County cemeteries are plentiful here. Grandview Cemetery has had an excellent renewal in the past three years, thanks in large measure to the Madison family in Bryan, and the landscaping present today has restored it beautifully.

There are two Mt. Calvary Cemeteries; most everyone knows the one in Bryan in the far end of the Bryan City Cemetery but there’s also one in Smetana! Of course, you know that Restever Mausoleum and Cemetery is on Hwy 6 heading toward Hearne. In Hearne, there’s a private cemetery, Macy Memorial there.

If you go on down FM 1179 towards Madisonville, you’ll see the Steep Hollow Cemetery on your right and then continuing on, you’ll see the Reliance Cemetery right on the grounds of Reliance Baptist Church. The Kurten Cemetery is very large and easy to find, right off of Hwy 190 as you’re heading towards Madisonville. As you’re out and about that area, it’s not too far to beautiful Alexander Cemetery near Tabor.

Now, if you head over toward Wheelock, you’ll see the Wheelock Cemetery in Wheelock, Texas. South of College Station, you’ll find the Peach Creek Cemetery with great history.

Each one of these cemeteries has its own unique charm. At one time, nothing more than unplowed acreage, landowners decided to dedicate portions of property to preserving the remains of those who would declare their homestead and final resting place to be there. Many families who don’t have the opportunity to be parts of these community cemeteries made plans over 50 years ago in the Bryan and College Station cemeteries, respectively, to purchase 8 to 10 plots, with an eye on being able to include children, grandchildren, and perhaps even great grandchildren, if the family generations wished.

Those historians who love doing genealogical research cherish the records of the committees and secretaries/sextons of these cemeteries, who are able to remember exactly where various ancestors were buried. Many is a summer I can remember talking to people who came to family reunions and discussing where certain family members had been buried and knowing which family members would be responsible for putting fresh flowers out at various holidays and at the annual “Decoration Day” workday for the cemeteries where monuments would be cleaned with soap and water, and any weeds that might have grown would be removed.

Perpetual care cemeteries plan for regular lawn maintenance and plot management, but various weather stresses can cause all kinds of disarray at times. It’s always good to know that someone who cares will be nearby to look after these things. Typically, it’s a member of the older generations who take on this role and responsibility, but I’ve also seen where the younger family members who are interested are also appointed when committees are in charge of caring for larger cemetery locations.

As you go over toward North Zulch and Normangee, you’ll see the Sand Prairie Cemetery and the George Cemetery on FM 1492 near Sand Prairie Baptist Church. Then, there’s Willowhole Cemetery in North Zulch not far away. Down the road about eight miles, you’ll find Hopewell Cemetery in Normangee, Marquez Cemetery in Leon County, Ten Mile Cemetery in Normangee, and Wealthy Cemetery in Leon County.

Now, every cemetery has its own rules that you want to research before securing a plot there. In some cases, donations are requested for cemetery care, there are some fixed fees for interment in addition to burial, rules for sizes and construction of monuments, and in other cases, there are few if any rules. They vary with each cemetery.

One online resource I’d like to recommend is FindAGrave.com . Genealogy enthusiasts are to thank for this excellent site. If you’d like to see the grave of one of your ancestors, there’s an excellent chance that a researcher has taken a photograph of any monument and uploaded it to Find-A-Grave and annotated the name and dates of birth and death of the decedent. It’s an amazing feeling to know that someone you never met before took the time to mark the spot with a photograph and entry into the site. It’s free to use and if you’d like to contribute photos of your family headstones for future researchers you can create a free account to do that.

Although taking a Sunday drive through some of our county cemeteries might not be the first idea that comes to mind on a relaxing afternoon, as our weather turns cooler, you might just drive by a few of them and read the historical markers outside the ones with them displayed. You might recognize many of the names of our early community founders and longstanding pillars of the community. In addition to taking care of their families, and their businesses, we can share our appreciation with those who thought to provide final resting places in the community.

Prices for cemetery plots only increase over time, and you would not believe how fast the value rises. As just one example, three plot spaces purchased together in a large private cemetery in Houston sold for $3600 in 1997. Today, the cost of one space there in the same cemetery is $!2,000, and that is just the cost of the plot, not including burial (which we call opening and closing of the gravesite). So, it never hurts to give early thought to something you won’t need for another 10, 20, or 30 years. And, a final reason to take that Sunday afternoon drive to see where some of your loved ones might be buried is always the opportunity to pay your respects to those who’ve gone before you, and to sit on a comfortable bench someone thoughtfully provided as you reflect on your time together with them.

Here’s to your memories.

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

Local Cemetery Burial — Options and Opportunities

Fri, 22 Sep 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Let’s accept it. The only time we willingly discuss cemeteries is where we are supposed to go when a friend or family member dies and we are to attend a service following the funeral. Most of us know where two of the local cemeteries, but can you name how many cemeteries have plots available to purchase? Or do you know how much it costs to acquire one?

One of the best investments you can make is that of a little time and interest in finding a final resting place either for yourself or for loved ones, even if the concept of their passing is decades away. In fact, it’s one purchase you can make today that will only appreciate as time goes on because a plot is land, and land only improves in value.

Many of you are aware that on September 8, the College Station City Cemetery received an official marker from the Brazos County Historical Commission noting the 75 ^th anniversary of this historic cemetery. Officials and historians were in attendance for the occasion and as it turns out, there are no more spaces available should you wish to be buried here. This is the location on 2530 Texas Avenue S., which faces the strip center that once held Lack’s furniture and still holds Brown’s Shoe Fit. Twenty years ago, spaces were available and sold for $600 each.

Population has skyrocketed in the Brazos Valley, especially in College Station, and this cemetery filled up. Only a few infant spaces are available for sale from the City of College Station, at a cost of $220.

The historic plaque notes: “…Five of the six original City Council members, four presidents of the university, highly decorated World War II Hero, General James Earl Rudder, 24-year mayor of College Station Ernest K. Langford…National Square and Round Dance Hall of Famer Manning F. Smith, and…Gussie Wilborn, humanitarian and descendant of early African American pioneers who won the ‘Outstanding Woman of Brazos County Award in 1985.’”

So much like the international and multicultural composition of Texas A&M itself, “tombstones reflect a variety of fraternal associations, including Woodmen of the World, Eastern Star, and Masons, and represent many different cultures with languages such as Chinese, Spanish, Czech, and Arabic lined with trees and maintained by the city…a testament to the rich heritage of the community.”

For those who don’t usually read historic markers, this one in particular invites a special feeling of solemn reverence as you pause to think of how this wonderful community has been built by hours and hours of unseen hands spending time in service to community and civic organizations, primarily comprised of talented individuals who care about where they live and want to provide for generations who come after them.

In addition to this location, the newer cemetery is the College Station City Cemetery with one section known as the Aggie Field of Honor & Memorial Cemetery , comprising 20 of the 56 acres there. Prices are different for the two sections. For example, a standard space in the Municipal section is $1,750 and a single Columbaria niche is $825. On the Aggie Field of Honor side, the standard space is $3,250 and a single Columbaria niche is $1,650. Anyone who loves Texas A&M can be buried on the Aggie Field of Honor side; no degree status is required.

Over in the Bryan City Cemetery at 1109 N. Texas Avenue you’ll find about 67 acres of land, with the newest section of the cemetery located at the end of Washington St., which runs parallel to the entrances to the older, original cemetery location. The beautiful older trees line the roads that meander all the way through each of the sections. As you might imagine, people bought plots for their families in segments of anywhere between 6-8 family members, which took into account when a child would one day grow up and marry adding to the family size.

Planning that far ahead served families well as they got to choose their space from a large group of attractive sites, and the price back then was substantially less expensive. Now in the newest section of the Bryan City Cemetery, one of the most attractive features includes many comfortable iron benches placed throughout the cemetery, which invites visitors to come and sit a while and reflect on their loved ones.

A special Veterans section is already designated in the new cemetery section. It’s a special sight to see the headstones reflecting loved ones’ military service there. Trees have been planted, and it’s just a matter of time before you see major shade sections appearing with each year.

There are numerous other cemeteries in Bryan, and one more we’ll focus on here is Restever Cemetery by Callaway-Jones. It is the only perpetual care cemetery in Bryan-College Station; that means that your loved ones’ monuments and the grounds around them will always be maintained by private funds that are built up when a burial site is purchased. City funds from municipal taxes take care of the city cemeteries over the years.

A typical burial space at Restever costs a one-time price of $920, which is $800 for the space and $120 for perpetual care. There are six sections there, located at 5103 N. Texas Avenue and only one section is entirely completed, and a new section is coming online very soon.

Each cemetery has local rules by which they operate and control the types of monuments you can erect, whether or not you can have live or plastic flowers, how long flowers can remain on the

Located in Bryan-College Station as well are several other cemeteries within a 5-10 mile radius, including Grandview, Oakwood, Yellow Fever Cemetery, and Boonville Cemetery. There are specific rules for being a member of a particular specialized cemetery and membership fees are what keep the individual cemeteries up to a beautiful standard. So much history exists in each cemetery. In future columns, we’ll explore a few more that are here in the Brazos Valley that you might have driven by but never known their history before.

In the meantime, remember that the sooner you decide on a final resting place for you and your loved ones, whether or not you make any funeral plans at this time, it is always wise to secure a gravesite or Columbaria space as soon as possible. If you have questions, please feel free to call me at (979) 822-3717 or come by for a cup of coffee and learn more.

If You Die Away from Home, What Happens?

Mon, 11 Sep 2023 04:00:00 GMT

In today’s busy world, people are always busy, on the go, and have returned to a pretty full pace of traveling for work and play. The days when we were all mostly shut-in to our homes hunkered down have passed and we now battle incredible heat surges to be out and about. As a result we spend a lot of time under pressure of travel. Weather has caused so many delays in our travel but one thing is certain, the minute we think we’ve thought of everything in our pre-trip planning, there’s always the unexpected.

For those of us who’ve just returned from a Labor Day’s trip someplace, the final holiday before school semesters begin in earnest as well as awaiting Thanksgiving break, it represents a last hurrah of summer and a hopeful anticipation to rain and cooler temperatures that are never as welcome as they are at this time for all of us here.

However, people still have not made a complete return to a typical fall when temperatures are soaring in the 105s and above. During travel, there is always a possibility that someone might pass away unexpectedly. Whether the person is a loved one, back at home, or whether they are the one traveling, the possibility exists. Have you stopped to think about what would happen if you passed away during a vacation?

Would people know your final wishes? Where are they recorded or saved among your personal items? Do your loved ones know where to look? How recently have you updated your preferences? This is one edge of the chances we take every day when we are traveling away from home. What happens if you are 500 miles away from your future burial site? How does that work?

If you have had the opportunity to preplan your funeral arrangements then you may have noticed the opportunity on the forms to select “travel insurance” whereby there is no additional fee to your family to have your taken into the care of a funeral home wherever you are and then transported back to your home town for final burial plans.

Although this is the least likely possible thing you think might happen, it is indeed a possibility that it could happen. And, the minute that you don’t plan for a contingency, there it is. Unfortunately, if this small area is not part of your preplanning, then your family might find itself saddled with an unexpected (and large) expense, depending on how far away from home you might have been when the death occurs.

Also, the relative expense of including it in preplanning costs is so much less a financial burden. And that is why we recommend preplanning so often to our families who are beginning to think about their legacies and final plans.

Another area of contingency is the simple knowledge of your immediate family on where to find your most important papers at critical times. It is often the one conversational topic that people go to extraordinary lengths to avoid. In the best of circumstances, family members of all ages need to have “that talk” with loved ones of adult and higher ages. It takes the mystery and uncertainty out of the equation to have preplanned at least the collection of important papers and documents that are needed when a loved one passes away.

These documents of course include birth certificates, records of military service, academic credentials, genealogy files showing the family tree with ancestor’s names, the family Bible with details about individuals that will go forgotten if not recorded.

One good plan leads to another. Contingencies in life as are as normal as changes in the weather. It’s when you don’t have a plan that things should really be scary for people. Not knowing what your loved one would have wanted is so painful after they pass away because you’re left not knowing what they preferred, what they really wanted, and you can easily freeze up and not make any decisions at all, if you have not had “that talk” with those you love.

There’s also no reason to think that just because you make the plans early that they will need to be completed one day earlier than the actual day that your life will end. There is often a subconscious fear we have that if we ever start thinking about our passing away, that we will. Although it’s easy to laugh and say “no, that doesn’t happen,” it’s the honest reason some people say to us that they didn’t want to come in and discuss preplanning sooner.

However, once they attend one of our group informational sessions and see what all the options are, the reality is that the concept of planning ahead is not at all something to be feared. In fact, there are genuine economic benefits to planning early, especially when you consider the aspect of the preplan that allows a no-additional expense feature.

Another factor that is often forgotten is the feeling of peace of mind that happens once plans are made and they can easily drift into things you don’t have to think about anymore, once all decisions have been made. That’s the real beauty of planning ahead for your final affairs.

Also, once you begin to travel, you won’t worry about anything else. You can feel peace of mind that should something happen to your senior loved ones while you are away on holiday, you can count on us to take care of things until you return home. We are here for you, all the time. That’s the peace of mind of preplanning. We offer regular meet and greet informational lunches and dinners that are scheduled, usually once each month. To receive an invitation to our next free event, please call us at (979) 822-3717 and ask to be placed on our list.

40th Season of the Brazos Valley Symphony Orchestra Offers New Gifts to Area Residents

Thu, 17 Aug 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Just as we are sending area youth off to their first days of school (and college) this month, it’s always an exciting time to welcome new seasons of our arts organizations here. They each spend hours of volunteer time contemplating their offerings for the coming year. For the first time this year, the Brazos Valley Symphony Orchestra will be holding a three-event Free Summer Series.

Because of the record heat in July and travel schedules for musicians and their families, the Summer Series actually begins on Sunday, August 27, 2023 . That concert will present the BVSO Percussion Ensemble on the Green at Century Square in College Station. The event will be free although the center itself charges about $5.00 for an hour or two of time, either around the green or over in the garage.

The Percussion Ensemble is led by Sarah Burke, Section Principal, and it will be an unforgettable concert in what will arguably be perfect weather; surely in two weeks it will be cooler and in the evening it will be lovely. Plus, Hopdoddy’s, Blaze Pizza, Sugar’s Candy and other restaurants are within three minutes’ walking distance to supply patrons with dinner to go along with the evening’s entertainment.

The BVSO Strings will debut on Sunday evening, September 17 ^th , and the BVSO Winds will perform on Sunday, October 8 . All three summer concerts begin at 6pm. Bring a lawn chair and the entire family and treat them to beautiful, free entertainment by an organization that contains your talented friends, neighbors, and colleagues!

The regular season of the 40 ^th anniversary year will start on October 15 ^th in Rudder Theatre on the TAMU Campus, featuring Martin Garcia playing Beethoven’s Emperor piano concerto No. 5, the overture to Mozart’s The Marriage of Figaro, and Tchaikovsky’s Symphony No. 5. Mr. Garcia is first place winner of the Cleveland International Piano Competition as well as an international medalist.

On November 5 ^th , three lovely ladies present Illuminations and Glory! In Rudder Theatre. Soprano Bronwen Forbay and Mezzo Soprano Galina Ivannikova join with Soprano Bethany Clearfield for Bach’s Wedding Cantata, Benjamin Britten’s Les Illuminations, and Vivaldi’s Gloria in D Major. The program also incorporates two exceptional groups, the Brazos Valley Chorale and the Texas A&M Century Singers. The evening is special, of course, as it is sponsored by the Clearfield family, longtime anchors of the BV Symphony Society.

Rounding out the Fall will be the Holiday Pops concert on December 10 ^th , at Christ Church in College Station, which features James Faith, Organist, the Christ Church Sanctuary Choir and Canticle Bell Ringers as well as the College Station Varsity Women’s Choir on various future selections for brass, organ, and choir.

In the Spring 2024 , two dynamic guitarists, Isaac Bustos and Alejandro Montiel, will perform Carmen Suites No. 1 and 2, the Three Cornered Hat Suite No. 1 by Manuel de Falla and Concierto Madrigal for Two Guitars by Joaquin Rodrigo. Bustos and Montiel are Grammy-nominated artists who bring their gifts to Rudder Theatre on January 21 ^st , 2024.

In time for Valentine’s Day celebrations, the BVSO has an evening with the centerpiece of Mussorgsky’s Pictures at an Exhibition front and center in Rudder Auditorium on February 18 ^th . Adding to the fun will be Debussy’s Clair de lune, Ravel’s Le Tombeau de Couperin, and Villa Lobos’ Bachianas brasileiras No. 2.

BVSO Musical Director and Conductor, Dr. Marcelo Bussiki

On March 24 , Brahms’ Hungarian Dances (Symphony No. 4) will be featured programming and feature BVSO’s principal trombone, Brian Logan, for this dynamic evening in Rudder Theatre.

Then, perhaps the season highlight has been set for April 27 , Music of the Knights! Featuring the music of Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber, Sir Paul McCartney, and Sir Elton John, there’s a better than even chance that every audience member will be able to “name that tune” in five notes or less. It promises to be a magnificent evening of memories that will (hopefully) fill Rudder Auditorium!

Season tickets for all concerts are available for a very affordable $337 or a three-classical concert series for $262; the Holiday Pops are available at $40 each so it’s convenient to support the music in whatever configuration is comfortable for your budget. Of course, the caliber and quality of this outstanding BVSO has not endured and sustained for 40 years without the specific generosity and donation of community members, fellow artists, and local philanthropists, who’ve invested love, sweat, and tears into sustaining this precious artistic crown jewel in our area. Several concerts in the season are specifically underwritten as well.

It’s very easy to take for granted that we have a symphony here in the Texas A&M Community, and yet, it is a more challenging and important accomplishment that we still have one, as even the larger nationally ranked symphony groups have hit the wall financially across the country in trying budgetary times.

Therefore, now more than ever, it is important for us to show our support with our presence at the concerts as well as making the symphony your beneficiary when making special gifts in love and honor or in memory of a loved one. Their love of music will live on through the Brazos Valley Symphony Orchestra. For more information, or better yet, to join the Brazos Valley Symphony Society, visit their website at www.bvso.org won’t you?

What Are Your Favorite Things? How Many Can You Name About Those You Love?

Sat, 05 Aug 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Do you remember the 1960s TV show, “The Dating Game,” hosted by Jim Lange? It featured three eligible bachelors, or bachelorettes, and they were ensconced behind a panel, unseen by the person on the other side of the panel asking them questions, trying to get to know them. When you have only a few minutes to ask just a few questions to decide whether you want to risk going on a date with them, you tend to zero in on what you think is most important to know. It’s like that in business too, because often you have to make a decision quickly on who you trust to handle important business for you. You think quickly and ask quickly.

Now, after that program came the TV show, “The Newlywed Game,” which featured newly married couples being quizzed on how well they knew each other after only a few months of marriage. How much do you know about the things your spouse loves? Could you enter a competition and win answering questions about another family member, knowing what’s most important to someone your love? Often we think we know everything there is to know about our family members, our spouses, and professional colleagues, only to find out, one day, that we really don’t or we can’t recall.

When there’s no pressure, we can often recite our loved ones’ favorite foods, TV shows, sports teams, authors, and we can even name the people who were influential to their growing up. But what if you have to think quickly about describing the life of someone in an obituary or tribute? Does your mind go blank when you have to come up with those answers quickly? In that situation, you are sharing what you hope are the most important events and accomplishments a person has had in his or her lifetime without oversharing or without omitting key events. It’s an important balancing act we have in crafting a brief summary of who they are and what meant something to them in their lifetimes with you.

One of the things at Callaway-Jones that we like to discuss with families when it comes time to design a celebration of life service for their loved one is to have them share the things that they loved most about their spouse, parent, grandparent, or dear friend. Capturing a person’s heart in a few words is not always easy but think for a minute. If you only have five things you could tell a friend about a person you’ve loved who’s just passed away, what would you share about them?

Did they have a special nickname from childhood forward? Did they love a particular form of music and always have it playing at home or in the car? When it came to family holidays, were they the chef with a signature dish at every special occasion? When you’re not trying, the answers to these questions come to you almost automatically. But when you have just lost that person, you might draw a complete blank when someone asks you these questions.

That’s why it’s always good to make notes along the way for the future. You don’t write things down “in case people die,” but because you want their memories to be alive forever. Sometimes, people keep their entire library of favorite songs on their cell phones or on their computer. They may have a playlist on their choice of streaming music service if that is the age bracket they fall into. But, quick, what was the special song your Mom and Dad always called “their song”? How did your parents meet? If they were introduced by mutual friends, what are their names? Do the answers to these questions come to your mind immediately? If not, maybe these are questions you want to ask your loved ones early, and you may want to write the answers down.

Favorite things change, of course, throughout a person’s lifetime. Things we loved as children can easily give way to others. Favorite sports teams, though, are often ones we pick as youngsters, because our parents take us to games, and we grow up loving the teams they loved. Ask any Baby Boomer why they like a certain team, and chances are it’s because their Mom or Dad took them to see that team. It’s why generations of people grow up learning to love the Texas Aggies, because we start our children out early to love “our team,” and the same is true for our friends at Sam Houston, Blinn, and at the University of Texas at Austin.

One thing that we are all gifted with during our lifetimes are in the clear, colorful stories of our loved ones. Classic “Granddad stories,” or “Grandma’s favorite rules” are the legends you tell your children about in case they passed away before your children could know them well. The stories of our lives, then, are what we aim to tell. It’s the little things, those nuances, that help us define and describe those we love to other people so they can see why they mean so much to us.

We often ask: “How do you want to be remembered?” at early planning meetings. If you’ve taken some time early on to list things that are especially meaningful to you or to someone you love, it will help later when that time comes. It can be very helpful, and healing, to make a list of things you want shared and smiled about when the time comes to host your memorial service or celebration of life. Your life is special, and we want to help you share your best memories.

If your stories are not already written down anywhere, whether on a genealogy data base, in a family Bible, or even in an online journal, consider videotaping them or make a sound recording even if it is just on your phone. Think of how amazing it will be 50 years from now for a future grandchild to hear your voice from the past. Those kinds of memory gifts last far beyond your lifetime and will one day be among your family’s “favorite things”!

Let Freedom Ring — The 4th of July and Why We Are So Grateful

Tue, 04 Jul 2023 04:00:00 GMT

When I woke up this morning, I was aware it was a national holiday across the country for many people, which to some means a chance to avoid a clock alarm or to disable it. Then, I could stroll into the kitchen for a morning protein shake, others of you might select coffee, and check the headlines of several news outlets, including the paper to see what happened overnight.

Our country is not currently in an outright engagement of war with any other country, although we have service personnel dispatched around the world in service of peace seeking and peace keeping endeavors. I have the ability to engage with social media and speak my mind on any topic. I usually keep my opinions on hot-pulse-item subjects off social media, but I am still free to write anything I want without fear of oppression from my government.

Any day of the week I have the freedom to walk into any church I want and pray to a higher power of my choosing with any words of my choice without fear of punishment for being wrong or worse, unlawful. If, heaven forbid, I should be pulled over for what one person says is speeding, and I beg to differ, I have the right to contest the charge in a fair trial if I so choose. If several of my friends and family want to gather on a street corner and hold up signs that protest anything (say the destruction of an historic building that has been standing for 126 years), I have that right and I will not be arrested for protesting (civilly).

The First Amendment to the U.S. constitution, the first of the Bill of Rights is not only the expression of thought freely—it is the right to believe and think the way I want. No one is telling me who or what I can/should/ought to believe. It’s all up to me to decide, without penalty, without rejection, and most importantly, without fear.

In any one of these sentences, it is not my intent to offend any reader, yet if I do, there is no penalty because I have the freedom to express myself, in print or in writing, as my personal opinion.

The cost for all of these freedoms came 247 years ago. We were people who previously were part of the British empire. We were loyal to a monarchy and our forefathers worshiped, for the most part, in a singular religion that was the official religion of the country. Taxation was not part of what we could set, but we did have to follow the rules. Then, many of our ancestors came from other countries run by different rule sets and leaders but, by and large, free will was not part of the theme of one’s life back then. Freedom in general was a nice word in a sentence, but it was not reality for so many for so long.

And then a group of rebels came along and decided to create something brand new, somewhere else, and to leave behind the world they’d known all of their lives to that point. They escaped tyranny, and in general sought to give their families “better” than they’d had thus far in their lives.

The cost was steep. Human lives, hard times, fierce weather, tremendous challenges, and things reduced to words and a few pictures in a history book don’t really portray reality for what the founding fathers, and patriotic, spirited spouses and children experienced. Especially when the sun is out, we hop into our vehicles, safe from the elements, many of us in air-conditioned comfort, and experience a day of rest from our daily jobs.

It’s rare that anyone give thought to the struggles of George Washington’s troops at Valley Forge in 1777 during the American Revolutionary War. The soldiers for the most part didn’t even have blankets, strong coats or even decent shoes to wear, yet they were defending their position against the British, who were camped out in Philadelphia. With the cold weather came deadly strains of flu and typhoid, and there were no modern conveniences of medicines and hospitals. Everything around us today, creature comforts and modern conveniences makes it so easy to forget what brave souls did for us so long, long ago. It’s human nature not to want to conjure up images of sacrifice and pain, or to think of those who gave their lives for generations of people who had not even yet been born.

The American Way. That is a phrase that is used often sometimes correctly, other times not so much. The word to insert in “American” is “freedom” and perhaps that makes it come to life a bit better. Freedom of, freedom to, freedom with.

It is amazing to see where we are in modern day governmental operations among parties of both extremes of thinking. The battles are not fought across the aisles with weapons but the exchange of words as weapons flows so freely that it is sometimes scary to hear the day’s events. Civil behavior has become open to interpretation as day after day we hear phrases offered about colleagues that we would never have thought up, much less said out loud, to our competitors in life and work. Some days I wonder how today’s Continental Congress could have ever mustered an agreement over simple decisions were today’s leaders the ones to make their choices.

That’s probably where the phrase “Those who do not learn from history are destined (or doomed) to repeat it.” I don’t have cause to commit or convict those of one side or another in writing. Instead, I offer one suggestion that can be either considered or disregarded. Today in the Brazos Valley, we have many young people straight from high school who have begun their military service and training to protect our nation in times of war and peace. They’re nowhere near able to grab a hot dog and soft drink and sit back and wait for the water sports today or fireworks displays tonight that the rest of us are planning to enjoy this holiday.

May we say a prayer for each of them, of thanks for their intention of service, of hope for their interest in a military career, of love for the sacrifice of precious young life days spent to learn from older, wiser instructors, and for peace that they may never have to dive into a fox hole for anything other than practice.

If you can text them, call them, Facebook post them, or otherwise communicate with them, let them hear from you. Tell them “thank you for your service” and know it will make a difference to them. When you see an active military duty service person in town, stop and thank them, visit the various memorials, monuments, and grave sites of those who served and be proud of your friends and loved ones.

Most of all, I thank God we live in the United States, and in the Brazos Valley, where everywhere you go, you see red, white and blue all around you. Neighborhoods have flags up and down their esplanades; the Bryan Rotary Club has the Field of Flags at the Veteran’s Cemeteries. You’ll find small U.S. flags on grave sites where generous individuals have made provisions in advance, and when the patriotic music begins tonight, know that we are indeed blessed to say “God Bless America,” we can pledge allegiance to a flag that waves strong and proud, even in sweltering heat, and we as a people stand for the concept of freedom.

One special request: if you are anywhere near where loud fireworks will be set off (even the illegal ones that seem to go off in every neighborhood around, despite numerous pleadings of neighbors for fear of fire exposure), please remember that so many of us have animals, particularly dogs and cats with super-sensitive hearing skills, far beyond human hearing capacities. The fireworks amplify at least five or six times as loudly to them as you are hearing. Please keep your pets inside during all the fireworks and if you can put on the TV or music at a level that can help counter the fireworks, that will bring them comfort. If your pets are inside fenced-in yards, please remember that they will be likely to jump fences because they are highly unsettled. Stay safe this holiday and keep all your loved ones safe as well.

May God continue to bless America and as long as possible and may old Glory wave strong and proud. Thanks to all of our service personnel, active and retired. We know freedom is not free and we thank you for your gifts and sacrifices to keep us from harm. Happy 4 ^th of July to all of you!

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

You Know You’re a Father When

Sun, 18 Jun 2023 04:00:00 GMT

In our earliest years on Earth, we are taught about Father’s Day, and it’s usually our mothers who teach us about the process of honoring our fathers on the third Sunday in June as their special day. They may share a favorite Bible verse as they teach us, with the 5 ^th commandment, the scripture from Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”

To a youngster, “Honoring” means creating something you can do at your age, with your ability, as dedicating hours of effort to think about your dad as you are doing it. First crayon drawings, early cards signed with scribbles, these are the kinds of treasures that you may well find saved by your dad for the next 30+ years of your life. Sometimes families pose for photographs that mark the occasion each year and the story they tell through the years shows differences in hair styles, clothing, cars, and the times in general, ways to mark the passage of years and growth of children into younger versions of dad’s best qualities.

I never realized it until I became a father myself that the operative word in being a dad is “responsibility,” in a way that had gone over my head for years. When you bring a child into this world, you essentially want to give them everything and anything you may remember not having. And then that feeling passes as you calm down and realize that the greatest gift of all is time.

When you are there to see your son or daughter’s first step, first pulling up to be able to stand on self-balance, hear their first word, or see their very first smile, there is no prize or treasure in this world greater than that. You never want your child to fall, skin their knee, or break a bone in their body, even though it’s an evitable part of life that happens to everyone. Yet, you still want to cushion them with bubble wrap, and you would if you could. When it feels right, you teach them your faith and help develop their spirituality and get them to Sunday School to learn about God’s love and what it means to have a heavenly father.

Responsibility means teaching your child what is expected of them at each stage of their life. Be kind, tell the truth, help other people, say thank you, write notes to say thank you, visit your family and check in on them, especially if they are elderly or have been sick. How you talk to your family, friends and neighbors is a model for your child to observe and emulate.

How to change a tire, how to fix something around the house, how to put up a bird house, all are just simple things that we do because we want to show a child how to master the unknown or something that can be a challenge. We impart courage to them as we model how to not be afraid of thunder, lightning, the dark, and other things that can scare a child. The language we use, the tone of voice we take when we are happy and when we are not, the thoughtfulness by which we plan ahead for others all represent behavior that our children see. Not a word needs to be spoken because actions speak volumes.

When a father is absent from a family for reasons other than a job taking them away from home, children look to others to fill their time, their loyalty, and their interest. Fortunately, many men are in this world who fill the “just like dad” role. As adults we call them “mentors” or “senior friends” who take you under their wings, offering advice or just a listening ear. That also comes down to “time” that is offered and given freely. We remember these men on this day, too.

Grandfathers, godfathers, uncles, and older brothers also are likely to step in and help children grow up and have a sense of someone “having their backs” as we sometimes say. Having an advocate is the most important thing for a child who is learning about life, at any age. Whether they pick you up and dust you off if you fall, whether they drive you to practice or pitch a baseball or catch one you are hitting, whether they make sure you’re at a dance recital on time, or there to scrutinize a “gentleman caller” and know that that young man is accountable to them, it’s a father figure who holds their hand in the air to say “I am here for you. Count on me. I’m where you need me to be.” And for the rest of your life, you will remember this day and think of someone who is there now, or who was once there.

I lost my own father at an early age and fortunately, he was the kind of father who always let me know every day of his life how much he loved me and what being my dad meant to him. I look at my son every day and want him to feel that same security that I felt growing up. Although I entered the profession my family had been in for four generations before me, my father was perfectly happy for me to follow whatever dreams I had, and he was all about them for me.

My dad did not insist his dreams for me interfere for my own dreams I had for myself. I intend to model this for Rowen as well. Together with Chelsea, Rowen has given me a true sense of family and clearly identified my role in it. Every year at this time, I think of the wisdom of my father, the miles he put on our station wagon (together with my mom) as we traveled the state for soccer tournaments, because I loved doing it, and I’m humbled. I’m excited to be a dad and because Rowen is almost 2, he is closer to understanding what Father’s Day is all about, because without him I would not have this title that I love with all my heart—Dad.

To all of you who are fathers, you have my great respect and thanks for all you do; for those of you who are father-figures for children, you have my appreciation and admiration for stepping in and stepping up to be there when you are most needed; for family members who take on the role of father to their relatives, my great respect is due you as well. Individually, we may not know all the answers we need to in this lifetime, but together we can find our way to make life better for our children as best we can. Love is the answer, and time is the best present of all. To all who are missing their dads this year, close your eyes and think about your happiest memory together with your dad, and remember that love never dies and memories live forever. Happy Father’s Day!

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

Decoration Day is More Than a Southern Tradition

Sat, 27 May 2023 04:00:00 GMT

The month of May is one that signals many holidays, one of which relates to how we care for the cemetery plots of our family and friends. Particularly in the south it seems that family cemetery plots are cared for by relatives for generations by tradition. That is, of course, as opposed to “perpetual care” cemeteries that are owned by private entities and the cost to bury your loved ones there assures the lawn will always be mowed and debris removed from wind, rain, and other unpleasant weather conditions. Very often the final Saturday of the month, coinciding with Memorial Day weekend, is called Decoration Day for cemeteries in the southern United States.

It’s a family custom as to how often people visit cemeteries and the gravesides of their predecessors. Some families have benches placed nearby for sitting, and others go maybe once or twice a year. It is a personal choice and experience for each of us.

Taking young children along with you on visits to graveyards is an excellent teaching opportunity for them to learn the names and relationships of their ancestors. Seeing the names and dates of people, some of whose names they share, is a great teaching experience.

Also, they learn pride in caring for a site that is constructed with a headstone commemorating a life. It is something that we as adults take for granted, but in reality, it’s the first lesson in genealogy that we can share.

Children can be encouraged to bring a small rock from home to place on or near a gravesite to mark that they have visited. There are also traditions of placing coins on a gravestone; “leaving a penny means you visited the grave, leaving a nickel means you went to basic training together, leaving a dime means you served together, and leaving a quarter means you were there when a service person was killed,” according to Operation Horses and Heroes . There is something special and solemn about paying respects to a loved one’s graveside.

Depending on the rules of the particular cemetery or mausoleum, fresh or silk flowers can be placed with reminders to replace and refresh them when weather changes. Perpetual care cemeteries do this for your loved ones as part of their service, or they offer that for a small additional annual fee.

Small standing flags are often placed on the ground near graves for military veterans by local veterans organizations and groups. The group “Wreaths Across America” coordinates wreath-laying ceremonies at graves in various cities, including Bryan-College Station, to honor those who have served. You can sponsor wreaths by visiting their website . The next National Wreaths Across America Day is December 16, 2023.

Traditionally in the south, one Saturday in May is set aside for Decoration Day and cemetery cleanup. The day varies, depending on weather, but it often coincides with Memorial Day weekend, always the last weekend in May. Typically, families will visit their family plots on this weekend, whether or not they had loved ones in military service.

Locally you can check the city websites to see if a cleanup day is set. It would be a good occasion to begin the silk flower program, which directs placement of flowers for single occasions, or special occasions, twice per year, or seasonal placement four times a year. At Restever Memorial Park & Mausoleum , you can begin this service by calling Stacy at (979) 778-7878.

In College Station, the City of College Station “conducts a general grounds clean-up of the College Station Cemetery, the Memorial Cemetery of College Station, and the Aggie Field of Honor on the last week of each month.” There are specific rules that specify what kind of flowers can be placed near monuments and the period of time they can remain.

In Bryan there are numerous cemeteries . In addition to the Bryan City Cemetery and Oakwood Cemetery, there is the newly restored Grandview Cemetery (thanks to efforts led by Bryan City Councilman Prentiss Madison), Mount Calvary Cemetery and Boonville Cemetery, in addition to numerous smaller private cemeteries.

Throughout the month, weather depending, you’ll find people gathered to update and improve the gravesites with pride for the final resting places of loved ones. Many times family reunions are set when schools are out for the summer and it’s part of reunion to put new flowers out, whether fresh or silk, and to remember the family members who were once such an active part of reunions.

After the headstones and surrounding areas are exactly as you want them, you might consider taking a photograph or two and adding them to the website www.findagrave.com . It is known as the world’s largest gravesite collection and it is free to join and search. No fees are required. You can search for your ancestors’ gravesites here. People from all over the country may reach out to you as well, distant relatives, and they will often leave a flower and a message in the guest book to let you know they visited.

Whatever your tradition, any time spent at the gravesides of your forefathers and loved ones is time well spent. Sharing your history and the rich stories that bring it to life is one of the best gifts you can leave for future generations to follow. Happy Decoration Day!

S College Ave Facility Entrance Detour

Tue, 23 May 2023 04:00:00 GMT

DOWNLOAD MAP ║ RETURN TO HOMEPAGE ║ VIEW OBITUARIES Due to the construction on S College Ave our facility is only accessible via Dellwood St. Please refer to this map for reference. Dellwood St can be accessed via Cavitt Ave and Texas Ave. For more information, please visit the Bryan, TX website .

Mother’s Day and the Opportunity to Say Thank You to All Those Who Mother Us

Sat, 13 May 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Long ago the holiday of Mother’s Day was thought to be confined to all those who were birth mothers to children. Cast in a traditional role, one saw pictures of children drawing happy scenes on construction paper with crayons to express their sentiments for the occasion. Fortunately, today, we realize that the title of Mother is one that can be bestowed on anyone who takes a vested interest in loving, caring about or for a child, providing safety, comfort, lodging, and food for a child, or supporting a group of children who otherwise would have no one to call by that name.

Mothers are our very first friends in life, most of the time. They spend the most amount of time with us until we can walk, talk, and participate in activities with others. They teach us rules of behavior, share their faith with us or show us by example how to have faith, and most of all, they teach us kindness and compassion, which begins in their hearts. Our ability to give and receive love is often a function of how that was shown to us when we were young. Others come by it naturally.

What’s the best gift to offer your mom or other special lady who filled the role of providing a mother’s love? It’s only one day a year, which can often seem unfair to just have one day to celebrate them. And yet, here it is, so what do you give to show your appreciation?

The first favorite gift is unquestionably the gift of time. Taking time well in advance of the holiday to plan something special to honor your mother and the mother of your children is important. You know this day is coming so it should never look as though you waited until the last minute.

Phone calls are a must, especially if distance separates you and you can’t be there in person. Cards in the mail will take extra time, so plan on priority mail or overnight delivery if you’re cutting it close. So, time and thoughtfulness are two special ways you say “I love you” to your mom. What else?

The gift of memories, especially to an older mom, is always appreciated. Photographs that you’ve had enlarged, showing a beloved family reunion, or the two of you at a special day and time in your lives, at an event that brought you both pride and joy, those are the kinds of pictures that it’s a joy to see every day of a mother’s life.

The timeless gift of your voice—you can record a personalized greeting on your phone and send it to her via text message or e-mail, and she can play it over and over again. Telling her that you love and appreciate her is something she can see every day when she wakes up or before she goes to sleep at night. While it seems like nothing special, you’d be surprised how much it means to her. And, when you rediscover it among her things in the days where she has passed away, you might realize how much your kindness and thoughtful gift meant.

There’s no time like today to tell someone you love how much they mean to you, regardless of any national occasion. People cannot hear enough how their presence in our lives makes a difference. Taking others for granted is so easy to do, especially with our parents. We assume they will live forever, be able to join us in all our activities forever.

Because they were our very first friends, mothers are the ones that it is possible to just think that it’s just one more holiday for them. Perhaps it is. But on the vague possibility it is not, be sure and work your schedule around to include them in whatever you do. For those whose biological parents were not the ones who represent “mother” to them, just share our love with those who are.

People come into our lives and fill roles “just like” the ones we need when we need them. Life has a way of working out. Perhaps your grandmother is the one who raised you, or an aunt, or a beloved next-door neighbor was your advocate throughout your transition to adulthood. Titles are not as important as those who can express and share their love with you, especially when it is so greatly needed.

Many years go by and some of us who’ve lost their mothers early are forced to remember the loss, rather than celebrate the presence. And, on Mother’s Day it can hurt, there’s no denying. But every moment we had with our mothers becomes even more precious in our memories. As we go through life, and as women may become mothers themselves, it is a chance to put into action all the things about their dear moms that they remember best and loved the most.

This year I’m fortunate to celebrate my own wonderful mother, Lorene, and my beautiful wife, Chelsea, who is an amazing and gifted mother to our son, Rowen, who simply adores her. It is with love and thanks that I wish them, and all of you, a very special and happy Mother’s Day this year!

Are you looking for something special to do on Sunday afternoon? Here’s one idea:

SPECIAL MUSIC EVENT

The series was designed to bring the greatest music to the area in a setting where the music could be appreciated at no cost to the patron. From its beginning, the concert series operated on donations from an offering plate passed around the audience at the conclusion of the program. We are most grateful for the foresight and generosity of the community members who came before us to provide for our future enjoyment in the arts here in the Brazos Valley.

Softly Call the Muster

Fri, 21 Apr 2023 04:00:00 GMT

April 21st marks the date that Texas Aggies around the world note the occasion of the passing of Aggies during the previous calendar year. The anniversary of Aggie Muster is held on the anniversary of the Battle of San Jacinto, the final battle of the Texas Revolution. Texas Aggie alumni are known worldwide for their love of school. Texas A&M presently has over 508,000 former students who claim Aggieland as their home. Upon enrollment, each student is assigned their college graduation class year to accompany their name, which is forever how they are known for the remainder of their lifetimes, as Class of 2027 for those who enter this coming fall semester.

Once each year, since 1943 , Aggie Muster ceremonies statewide marked the passing of Aggies in the preceding year honor those who have left the ranks of active former students. At the main campus, the ceremony honoring Aggies is now held in Reed Arena, while many area residents recall attending the old G. Rollie White Coliseum. Across Texas, individual Aggie Clubs host an annual ceremony honoring those from geographical areas who are best known to their hometowns. As candles are lit, the names of those who have passed away are read aloud, and one or more designated persons will answer the Roll Call with “Here.” They are important, they are regarded, and they are remembered forever as Aggies.

More than just a number, your Aggie class year denotes that you belong, forever, to a school to which you pledge your loyalty as an undergraduate. What used to be considered the Aggie Code of Honor, “Aggies do not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do,” is a credo that has become enhanced by the addition of what RELLIS stands for, six core values of “respect, excellence, leadership, loyalty, integrity, and selfless service.”

The Code of Honor lives on at A&M, preserved by the keepers of the flame, the TAMU Corps of Cadets. The admiration for and love of Aggies that is so fervent to those who possess it is something that people say that, outside you cannot see inside, and inside, you see no other way. School pride and love of education and educators runs deep and permanently among Aggies, as with virtually any other Texas-based school, where residents take their school pride seriously, if not defiantly, particularly at sports competitions.

However, Aggies are unique in that once you embrace the school and its traditions, along with it comes a fierce determination to preserve what we perceive as the “best” of what the school is. Over the close to 150 years of the school’s founding, we’ve gone from “college” to “university” and expanded the experience of what it means to be part of a larger system. The main school was once the only institution considered “A&M” and today, it is a vast ecosystem of campuses, similarly branded and able to include all those who embrace Aggie traditions.

When all is said and done, whether it is 1943, 1983, 2003, or 2023, one thing is sure. The tradition of Aggie Muster will continue. All those who have passed away in the calendar year will be remembered forever and their memories honored. The legacy and tradition of Aggieland in the hearts and minds of thousands will continue as long as Texas A&M University endures, to which they will always belong. Softly call the muster…

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member.

From Holy Week Comes Easter Blessings

Sat, 08 Apr 2023 04:00:00 GMT

We who have everything, the gift of life, good health or at least access to good medical care, and loving family including fur babies, live in a day and time when we are surrounded by opinions. Some hold them fast, some hold them long and strong, and others are new to understanding and believing who they are and why they feel as they do.

When it comes to religion, many of us belong to a group that has a name that describes their faith. Some are Christians, others are Jews, still others are Muslims, and a list too long to name and be fully inclusive. As a group, there are subgroups to many of the religious followers that distinguish their group among the others. Yet, one commonality across all groups is an agreement to agree on faith as a practice of worship, following traditional values and tenets as history has carried them through.

For as many years as there has been agreement among groups with similar faiths, there have been groups equally as loud protesting that those same groups are wrong, misguided, and in fact, harmful. To a child learning about Christian Easter, Jewish Passover, and Muslim Ramadan, though, none of this is important. Not yet. The capacity of a child to understand faith is 100% learned by the example of the parents or loving adult caregivers of that child, who model what it is to believe in that faith.

For those who are raised in a church setting, it usually involves bringing your child to a church nursery while you worship in the sanctuary. After that stage, the youngsters old enough to begin to learn the lessons of life and loss and love begin to find understanding with each year. In the Christian faith, it might appear that the Easter bunny has ushered in a concept of “good news.”

In the 13 ^th century, Time magazine tells us, is when people place the beginning of decorating eggs. During the Lenten season, congregants were asked to give up eating eggs. So, at the conclusion of Lent, eggs were decorated and exchanged. In the 1700’s, German immigrants arriving in America taught children to make little “nests” for where the bunny could lay its eggs. The baskets were decorated as were the eggs. Chocolate and candy soon followed.

In our family we are still at the basket, bunny, and the story in the Bible will follow as Rowen grows older. As eggs at one point represented new life, the color of purple represents the Lenten season and new life in Christ. Symbols representing God’s love abound throughout our daily lives. As we are in church, our children see our habits and patterns and respect for the traditions their parents taught them.

Every year we celebrate our holidays, as ours does Easter, we give ourselves a chance to be thankful to God for His son, for bringing us to know that beyond this life is a rejoining of love from our loved ones to be reunited with them, and to have everlasting life. It’s a gift to us, and it’s free for the asking. We get a clean slate each year with Easter as we can resolve to start over and try again in those areas of our life that might need attention.

We can take time to say “Good job” to our children to let them know we see their progress. We can say “thank you” to them each time they try to show you they want to please you. And most of all, we can listen when they want to chat. There’s nothing more precious than the voice of your child sharing love and laughter with you.

May this Holy season bring you closer to hearing God’s voice that guides you on your journey ahead. May there be peace and quiet and may any discontent be dissolved by reason rather than loud anger. May we experience healing in all the areas of our world that need it. May we know we are blessed with the gift of life we have been given each day. Happy Easter to all of you and your families from our family.

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

Cremation Stones Are an Option for Permanent Remembrances

Sun, 02 Apr 2023 04:00:00 GMT

If you have chosen cremation for your final plans, there is an additional selection and that is whether you would like to have a clean alternative to disposition or distribution of ashes. Callaway-Jones now offers you a “green” alternative to storing ashes in an urn. Instead, there’s a process where 100% of the ashes are converted to a collection of between 40–60 stones.

Stark-looking ashes, in this process, are converted to attractive white stones that can be distributed to family members to have on a bookcase as a memento. Stones are a simple keepsake and they can be shared for many generations.

It may be so far away from an idea you’d considered before, but there is great comfort that comes with the process of cremation. The Scriptures share many statements to that effect. In Genesis 3:19, God tells Adam, ”For dust you are and to dust you shall return.” In Ecclesiastes 3:20, it is written by Solomon, “All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return.”

Many families opt to places ashes in an urn and either bury the urn in a columbarium above ground or in a gravesite below ground. One of the very interesting things about the white stones is that they also make an attractive part of a memorial garden when surrounded by new plants.

A dear friend passed away just a few years ago, and her two grandchildren had been so close to her, and she’d pick them up from their school daily. Her daily presence in their lives was so incredible that their loss of her was devastating. Their mother came up with a perfect solution: a memory garden.

As you can see in the photos of their memorial garden, there is great potential for healing when children have an outlet to remember their loved ones. When they use their own hands and creativity to select colors of plants, help with the digging, planting, and watering, they have solid comfort from knowing they’ve done something to remember their loved one.

Every day they check the progress of the garden, find time to remove a few weeds, make sure the ground has water but not too much, and then to take pictures and share the scenes when they print them for their scrapbook.

Adults might find the cremation stones to be of equal comfort as you consider where you might collect and place them in your home, perhaps sharing with your siblings or others who loved the person you loved.

Saying goodbye is never easy but with this fairly new possibility of what to do with cremation ashes, we call “cremains,” it’s a very eco-friendly and clean, green way to process ashes in a permanent, respectful manner.

You can also add them to a family gravesite of another relative who would be proud to have a stone or two near their space.

Cremation jewelry and fingerprint jewelry are two optional considerations. Some of the ashes can be blown into colorful patterns in glassware and become extremely attractive desk paperweights.

Necklaces can be made for family members of all ages with small blown glass elements making an attractive pattern. Wearing a ring with your loved one’s memory is possible in our cremation diamonds. Visit https://callawayjones.com/cremation-diamonds/ to see how these are grown. Check out https://callawayjones.com/fingerprint-keepsakes/ to learn more about our Legacytouch Fingerprint Keepsakes.

Cremation glass are custom designs of small portions of your loved one’s cremated remains inserted into glass when it is blown. Visit https://callawayjones.com/cremation-glass/ to learn more.

Even if you choose burial, fingerprint jewelry is a good option for you to have a small part of your loved one’s memory with you always. All of these options are like a permanent hug from heaven, as many of our families have found.

Come in to our offices in Bryan and College Station to learn more about cremation stones or jewelry, or speak to a funeral director by phone who can help you arrange for this step in remembering your loved one. Although these ideas are not necessarily considered “traditional” yet, it takes a while for new options to become longtime traditions.

Blog Update: Watch our good friend, Justin Crowe, explain his opportunity to the sharks, including guest shark, Gwyneth Paltrow and see how it turned out: https://abc.com/shows/shark-tank/episode-guide/season-14/19-episode-19?view=full

Cody D. Jones ’02

Owner & Community Member

What is an Ethical Will?

Sun, 26 Feb 2023 05:00:00 GMT

We are all familiar with traditional last wills and testaments as part of adult life where we make a list of our financial assets and then decide on how those assets should be distributed. With those kinds of documents, there is always a possibility for hurt feelings, anger, and dispute after a person has passed away. There is, however, a different type of will that is becoming popular in addition to the “standard” will. It is called an “ethical will, ” and it can be one of the best gifts you can give to your family who are with you today and ones still to arrive in future generations.

An ethical will is about crafting a message of who you are, who you have been in your lifetime, and what it is you want to say to people who are left to learn your words, either via written directions, audio, or video means. One source describes it as “a great way to ensure your wisdom, memories and messages are passed onto your loved ones.” Sound exciting? It is!

The ethical will is considered a final message of love to your family and friends—thanking them and acknowledging each of them for who they are and what their gifts of time and help have meant to you in your lifetime. They’re planned as gifts of your words to leave behind for the next generation and the ones that follow.

Think of it as a way as communicating who you are and what your life lessons have been, the areas where you believe you have been happiest, the people who have given you the most joy in your lifetime and let them hear from you themselves some of the things that there never seemed to be a right time to talk about. If you have business principles that had guided you, and you want future generations to know who you were and what you stood for, the ethical will is the place to share that.

Perhaps you have wishes for your grandchildren, or final words you want to leave with them, as they are very young and wouldn’t understand or appreciate them yet. Once you start working on this document, you may well wish to write even a longer document, or you may even be inclined to draft a book.

Whatever you decide, there are some things you can’t say to someone who has not even been born. So, in the event that you’d like to leave your future grandchildren or even great grandchildren a message, or your life story, or to share with them things you could never say while in this life, you might want to compose an ethical will.

Share your faith, your beliefs, things that you learned while in this life, and whatever you hoped for as a child that came true for you, and whatever you want to share. The AARP offers an article that might help you get started. Once you get started, who knows? You may just wind up with a book, after all!

Cody D. Jones ’02

Owner & Community Member

Valentine’s Day When Your Loved One is in Heaven

Tue, 14 Feb 2023 05:00:00 GMT

For some of us, this is the first Valentine’s Day without someone special in our lives, as a death has occurred since the last time we celebrated the occasion. For spouses, for children who’ve lost a grandparent, for parents who’ve lost a child too soon, or a dear friend losing another longtime friend—nothing reminds you of loss more than the Valentine Day holiday rolling around.

The TV commercials around this time are relentless and so, too, is likely the pain with which those who have lost their Valentines must feel to be reminded of this fact. And yet, the day is about love. So, how do you get through it on a day when your heart is breaking? I’m not sure I have “the” answer, but one or two thoughts come to mind that have been shared with me by those who have walked this path before.

In the days before Valentine’s Day, chances are good that you’ve revisited a collection of cards and/or photos where the two of you were together in years past. Your mind flashes back to a day and time during the happiest times of your life.

It’s okay to review those cards, messages, and notes, but if it hurts too much right now, don’t feel under any obligation to walk those steps until you are fully ready. Is there a way you can approach and proceed through Valentine’s Day in a way that helps to heal?

For every loss in life we have a length of relationship that has extended for a long period of time—at those times, life seemed perfect, it seemed like it couldn’t be any better, and one way to look at it is to celebrate that you did indeed find in this life a truly beloved partner, someone who made you know that you were truly loved. Some people go through life and don’t find that person. That you had that love is worth celebrating, not just at Valentine’s Day but on any occasion.

One way to take the focus off our own hearts is to think of the hearts of others who are alone on this holiday. If your children or grandchildren are also missing their loved one, you might take time to send them cards, or candy, or take them out to dinner. Share time together with all those who miss your loved one. Reminisce, reflect, and honor their memory with an active celebration of a “day of love” for your loved one.

Did you lose your Valentine this past year? Are one or more of your parents still alive? You can always reach out to them and include them in your memories, and it would likely be very much appreciated. Helping everyone who has sustained the loss you also sustained is a positive movement forward in processing your own loss.

If you lost a child this year, it could be healing to gather your closest relatives and meet for a Valentine’s Dinner or Brunch. It’s not a time to be alone, so see if there’s an opportunity to come together and not isolate yourself at this precious holiday.

If you have a neighbor who is especially important to your heart and they live alone, it’s a perfect day to surprise them with a card, a call, or some flowers, especially when their family may or may be local here, and your thoughtfulness will send them a smile that will last long beyond the special day of love.

Most of all no matter what day of the year it is…never miss a good chance to tell people you love that you love them. Don’t rush out of this life in such a hurry that you miss sharing love with others in your life who keep you first in their hearts. You don’t want to leave words unsaid, hugs not shared, or people isolated by sorrow. Reach out your arms open wide and look for someone whose heart seems to have an open space to welcome your sharing part of your heart. Together, you can overcome hurt and as you heal together, celebrating the love of Valentine’s Days—past, present, and future.

Share your love and show your love to those you love every day. Valentine’s is one day; loving people and loving life is for a lifetime. Happy Valentine’s Day to all!

Cody D. Jones ’02

Owner & Community Member

What Black History Month Means to All of Us in the Brazos Valley

Tue, 07 Feb 2023 05:00:00 GMT

Since 1986, the arrival of February 1 each year means the remembrance of Black History Month, established by Congress passing Public Law 99-244, that year marking “the beginning of the sixtieth annual public and private salute to Black History.” Originally a celebration that was one-month-long, the focus on study and scholarship of African American history is worthy of a full month.

When you survey the Brazos Valley, one of the first places to learn about the accomplishments of our residents is the Brazos Valley African American Museum. Thanks to a partnership with Optimum Internet, admission to the BVAAM is free. Located is fitting as it is at 500 E. Pruitt Street, named for Mell Pruitt and her husband Dr. Willie Pruitt, names well known to all of us. That very site had once been “one of the original black schools in the Brazos Valley.” Since its opening in July 2006, the museum had only one curator, O. Wayne Sadberry, Jr., Texas A&M Class of 1971, who passed away in January 2022. Today, Barry K. Davis, Texas A&M Class of 1976 holds that position today and his wife, Mildred, is the current Chair of the Museum. For the month of February, admission is Free to all patrons thanks to the donation of a generous patron.

As another Black History Month celebration event, on Wednesday, Feb. 22, at 1pm at the Mounce Library in Bryan, Paula King-Harper, president of the Wilson Pottery Foundation in Seguin, TX, will “ share the history of the Wilson family and H. Wilson and Co. Pottery, the first African American-owned business in Texas.” Check it out. You’ll be glad you did!

The museum is hosting its 22 ^nd annual Appreciation Banquet on February 25 at 6pm at the College Station Hilton, where Jason Cornelius will moderate the evening many community leaders will be honored for all they have done for our city, state, or beyond. This event is the primary fundraiser for the museum each year. Tickets are available at the Museum and online.

Although February is Black History month, it’s valuable to visit the African American Museum regularly, as they have a rotating exhibit devoted to families that have been in Bryan and Brazos County for several generations. Those participating have opened up long-ago scrapbooks and shared autobiographies that their family historians have penned so that our area youth, especially, can see their forefathers who made key contributions to the community over the decades.

The importance of history cannot be overemphasized. There’s an excellent online resource from 2022 that the City of Bryan posted, “Celebrating Black History Month in Bryan.” In preparing the 150 ^th Anniversary of Incorporation of the City of Bryan, several outstanding online resources were prepared and shared.

Fortunately, key interviews were obtained from the late O. Wayne Sadberry, Jr., founding curator of the African American Museum and son of O. W. Sadberry, Sr., who taught at the Rosenwald School for rural African Americans. Checking out the video of Wayne Sadberry sharing the educational journey that his father inspired for so many area children to be able to attend (and pay for) college is inspirational.

How poignant it is that while Mr. Sadberry Jr. organized, together with community leader George Vaults and 250 key citizens, an effort to see Bryan’s new intermediate school named for his father, he died 5 weeks before the announcement was made. How fortuitous to have audio, video, and transcripts of the facts he was willing to share, as he’d studied and lived them firsthand here for years.

There are additional interviews of great interest: Bryan native and award-winning photojournalist Sunny Nash talks about breaking the segregation barrier at the Bryan Public Library as well as City of Bryan historian Randy Haynes about Bryan’s first Black Police Officer, Levi Neal, who was killed “in the line of duty,” also poignantly, 123 years ago, on February 24, 1900.

These dates, places, monuments, and markers are the key authentic original resources that family members can share to preserve, protect, and defend our local history? How can each of us, then, make a difference to Black History Month in the Brazos Valley?

Seniors can write, preserve, record, or video their memories and anyone with a smartphone can be a part of recording that history. Think of how important it would be to you to see, hear, or read the words (especially the handwriting) of someone who lived life during the days and times you only read history books about. To understand a person’s life, you must hear their voice. In days not so long ago, the only way to preserve a voice was an handwriting. That art has always been prized and even today, children spend less time learning handwriting in schools, because they don’t need it when they are keyboarding.

And yet, history—any way you look at it—is communicating personal experiences for future generations to know, recognize, and appreciate either just how much their lives were similar or different. Every generation wants their children to have it “easier than they did,” or to have things “better than they had.”

As we proceed through Black History Month, may we be ever mindful of the appreciation we owe to generations among us now passing away, and work to preserve our Black history here in the Brazos Valley.

Cody D. Jones ’02

Owner & Community Member

Starting Off 2023 on a New Note—Your Top 10

Sun, 01 Jan 2023 05:00:00 GMT

Dear friends,

Today is the first day of what could well become one of the best years of your life (so far). There’s nothing but potential awaiting you. There’s no greater feeling that filing away the prior year, peeling off the plastic of the new insert to your day planner and starting fresh.

Do you have a list of things you want to change in the new year? Or, have you come up with a blank sheet of paper because you like things just as they are?

Rather than stare at the computer trying to come up with resolutions just to have some, perhaps it might be helpful to give up on the idea of resolutions to make. Perhaps you might consider making a list of 10 people in your life who mean the most to you.

If you were to win the Texas Lottery, or if you were to win the top prize given to someone who works in your field, or if someone you care about is one you’d miss if they were not here tomorrow…those are the 10 people who you might want to tell first about your happy circumstances and good fortune. They also might be the ones who know the most about you and could answer the question: What was he or she like? What did they like and what made them angry or sad?

People you know and who truly know you well most have seen you in life at good times and at bad ones. They know how you respond to success as well as failures. They know if you are an encourager, or if you prefer to look at things in a less than optimistic, a more realistic way.

In your Top 10, these are people in whom you would confide your greatest sorrows and trust to be happy in your good fortune, should something special come your way out of the blue.

Now, say two people are taken away from your Top 10 due to illness or death. They’re not there anymore. What do you do? How do you fill that gap? How do you meet that need? What is missing in your life now that they are gone?

People cannot actually be replaced by other people who are similar to the ones you lost. You can’t fill out a menu when searching for your closest, most intimate friends. They are people you trust with your children, and you would leave your most precious commodities in their trust without fear or worry. How do you know if you have made the right choice as taking people on as friends? Do your friends always tell the truth? Will they tell you what you need to hear or what they know you want to hear? Your instincts are the best judge of who best interacts with you now and in the future.

One question to ask as we turn the page and enter a new year is: Have we told the people who mean the most to us how much they mean to us? Already? More than one time? Today is the first day of a new year, and it represents the first opportunity for you to call and tell your loved ones how much they mean to you. Better yet, drop by and see them in person and give them a big hug. Take photos with them today, now, and take time to record in some way or other for 5, 10, or more years from now, when you wish you would have done so.

I’m not suggesting that you look at everyone you love and see them in terms of final days. It’s absolutely the opposite. Life passes by so fast when you are having fun. We have cell phones that help us document the sights and sounds of joy and laughter as we spend time and live our lives to the fullest as best we can. Thanks to that, though, life moving so fast, we’ve almost given up writing in daily journals, taking time to get photos printed and pasted into photo albums, writing carefully in great handwriting when it was, who was there, and where you were when life slowed down for 30 seconds, long enough to snap a photo. There’s a lot we miss when we simply transfer photos into folders that sit on computer hard drives. How often do you go back into those folders to look at the pictures from last year, even?

There are at least 9 cell phone pictures taken for every actual professional camera photograph taken these days. Yet, how many photos could you take and store on your iPhone 3 or your Galaxy 4 compared to what you can today? Remember vinyl records moved to reel-to-reel and cassette tapes, then to 8-track tapes, then to compact disc and now we are also including a strong return to vinyl again?

Electronic imaging and media storage is a method that changes daily in one way or another. This is one reason why we are fortunate that we have our grandparents’ photo albums (if we are lucky) to have something to say “There, that person is my loved one!” If you want to stay with the computer storage, then maybe you want to spend a little extra time labeling folders completely and descriptively and tag the people in each one. It may not be identical to the photo album experience, but at least five years from now if you are missing someone special…you’ll be glad you did.

Please know how much we appreciate and regard highly each of you who has been our friend and client. You are family to us. Hoping you’ll stop in to say hello and have a cup of coffee this year when you’re in the neighborhood. That’s what friends do, all year long. Happy 2023!

Cody D. Jones ’02

Owner & Community Member

Renew Your Spirit This Holiday Season

Sat, 24 Dec 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Whether you are celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, or another tradition this year, we are all gifted with a chance at renewal—of hope, of joy, and of a life we’ve always dreamed of celebrating at this time of the year. Maybe you grew up watching the movies they now show annually as “holiday timeless classics,” and there’s music, a plot, Hollywood stars and a feel-good ending that reminds you that miracles can and do happen, and even to regular people like us.

Life moves quickly and change can happen overnight as we all know. We all respond to good times in different ways—some of us are open with our emotions and others keep our emotions close in check. The same response happens when the news is sad. Holidays remind of us of treasured events in our past—recent and distant. If our life is full of one thing consistently—it is change.

The holidays are an encapsulation of our memories from the very first time we saw a group of packages with our names on them to six decades later as we watch new generations developing their personalities as they approached wrapped packages with anticipation and delight.

Then, too, there’s time spent remembering days when all of the family gathered around a single dining table and maybe overflowed to a second table and good-natured conversation. Families gathered together for infinite quantities of sharing stories, remembering family members newly departed. Simply by saying their names aloud and remembering what they loved best about the holidays, they stay alive in our hearts. This is how we remember people we never even met. Our loved ones talk about the people who they loved and who loved them. The more frequently we hear stories about our ancestors, the more they come “alive” to us. Photographs help so much to put the life in full memory mode.

Writing down the memories of our senior loved ones, especially expressed on Christmas Day, will become like gold to you in 2, 3, or 10 years. You will never regret recording, video or audio, the original voices who tell the stories. Even if your home ‘movies’ are cell phone recordings with kids ducking in and out to photobomb and wave and laugh…they will become more prized with each passing year. One day you will be the one who is being remembered, so don’t be shy in sharing your feelings. Let your love flow and let your grief out; both actions make you stronger each day.

May your holidays be filled with voices raised in laughter, good food available in abundance, enjoyed in warmth and safety, and may there be peace in your heart as we celebrate these special holy holidays. From our family to yours, Merry Christmas!

Cody D. Jones ’02

Owner & Community Member

Your Gifts of Time Can Begin Right After Thanksgiving

Sat, 26 Nov 2022 05:00:00 GMT

This week brings forth an annual season of wanting to make memories with our loved ones. Although many of us have lost our more senior relatives over the past few years, we must pause to be grateful for the time we’ve had with so many. If your family is large and has limited time to be together it represents an opportunity for the older generation to share their stories and memories of when your parents were children.

If you are 13 years old or younger, maybe it’s not as interesting a topic to you as it will be in 20 years, but maybe your relatives won’t remember as much then either. We always have plenty of time to haul out old photos and scrapbooks to reminisce, to share stories and if someone is smart they will write the stories down or better yet, video them with your phone.

What a blessing it was to find so many people reaching out to those who found themselves without immediate family this year, taking time to “be family” to some of our area seniors. We have numerous senior living communities here. Every years, if you sit at a distance and watch, you see those who come downstairs, or to the front, early because they are going to be picked up by family to be taken to where festivities will begin.

It makes you think of who all you know who would love to see someone smile or hear a friendly voice. Next year, if want to, let this be the motivation to consider calling the Activities Directors of area communities to see if they need any volunteer help. Imagine the good you can do, just to bring a smile to a stranger’s day.

If Thanksgiving dinner with family is not possible for someone you know, you can offer them a seat at your table next year and tell them to “just bring themselves.” It’s a gift not to be lonely at holidays. Even if it is not someone you know, you can still help provide for others.

This is the 34 ^th year that area superhero volunteer Gloria Kennard provided Thanksgiving to serve 800 community members this year, thanks to her faithfulness and “donations from First Financial Bank, College Station Rotary, Rotary Club of Aggieland and area churches.” And she has done this from her home ! Community members are also used to dropping by and just dropping off a few items to help the overall goals. The power of one person never goes unnoticed or unneeded.

Over in Caldwell, for 19 years now, Melinda Palicka has been the Facility Director of “In God’s Hands Ministry” and her commitment to provide meals at Thanksgiving has included local merchants making contributions to her efforts. On Thursday she provided meals at an area senior living center. If you’d like to help Melinda next year, check out the link on the community story on KAGS-TV and save the information for next year.

And now, that the meals have been prepared, the feast has been served and someone was nice enough to clear and clean the dishes, take a deep breath. In fact, take several of them. Many of you woke up after two hours’ sleep to take advantage of Black Friday sales ahead of Christmas.

But what is available for you to do now?

As featured on KRHD Friday, there’s a story about spreading holiday cheer, Jesse’s Taqueria and Bakery, Golden Corral, and College Heights Assembly of God Church are three groups who are partnering with the Home Instead caregiving group to host Christmas trees with names of seniors written on ornaments. Gifts that they will enjoy are suggested and you can imagine how comforting it would be to lotions to combat dry skin, blankets, socks, and warm items at Christmas time. There’s a Dec. 12 cutoff date for you to return the gifts you’d like to give to the places where you pick up the ornaments.

Now, what else?

One of the best presents you can give to those you love is your time. You don’t need to get into massive debt to show those you love your great care and regard. It’s a gift that, once given, can never be returned. In turn, people will never forget the time you spent together, especially for those at a distance. Have a senior who loves to send and receive Christmas cards each year but for some reason this year, they can’t? You can help by getting the cards, sitting down with your seniors and going through their address list.

Or, you can volunteer to help them prepare a Christmas message and get it copied and mailed out. Maybe even buy the stamps this year as they are $.60 each for standard snail mail. Postcards are $.40 each. Or you can record a video message or story or memories from your seniors and send it to all of your family members (which will remind them to be sure and include a Christmas card or call for your senior from them!).

Organize a holiday phone tree for seniors who are homebound and cannot join you for the holidays, so you can make sure they hear from everyone. Children love to color and draw and maybe if they don’t have grandparents of their own alive to send cards to, you can encourage them to create greetings cards for children who are in the hospitals for the holidays with a simple message: “I am sorry you are in the hospital right now, but please know that you are being thought about and prayed for today, and I wish you a very Merry Christmas and many good days ahead very soon.

The one factor in common with all of the above is a simple gift of your time offered with love. There’s no magnificent gift in a splendid box that could mean anything more to someone who truly loves you than time, thoughtfulness, and action. The next four weeks are yours for the giving.

What are you going to do now that all the meals are served, the dishes are cleaned and put away, and you’ve wrapped up the season’s football games (more or less ��)? Season’s Greetings to all of you. And please remember to support your locally owned businesses—we are here all the time, you know us, and we appreciate your trust in us. Now, let the holiday season resume in full force!

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

Callaway-Jones Salutes Veterans Today

Fri, 11 Nov 2022 05:00:00 GMT

As the calendar turned to Nov. 11 ^th today, almost every adult American realized it was a special day of remembering. It’s the day we honor the men and women who have served our country whether in wartime or in peace. History reminds us that the setting aside this day, once known as Armistice Day, occurred in a document signed at 11:11 am on Nov. 11, the 11 ^th day of the 11 ^th month.

Callaway-Jones continues to thank our community citizens who have served our country valiantly in their lifetimes. We also honor our newest recruits and enlistees. From boot camp to retirement, those who offer themselves to serve our country deserve our highest and best praise and appreciation.

If you’d like to take part in today’s community observance of Veteran’s Day ceremony, it will begin at 5:30pm at the Louis L. Adam Memorial Plaza of Veterans Park and Athletic Complex, 3101 Harvey Rd., in College Station. The address is 3101 Harvey Road. The Corps of Cadets will offer a rifle salute and playing of “Taps.” Beloved former basketball coach Gary Blair, a Marine by service branch, is guest speaker. Although the latest marble engravings of the newest names added to the Wall of Honor could not be completed by today’s service, their names will be read aloud.

To add the name of your loved one to honor their military service to the Wall, or for more information, visit the Brazos Valley Veterans Memorial web site . To all Veterans, we salute you!

Cody D. Jones ‘02

What Is a Themed Funeral?

Mon, 07 Nov 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Have you ever attended a funeral where you walked out of the event with a feeling like the person was not truly known to the person who officiated? Did their message leave you with a sense of sorrow because you knew more about the person who died than they did? That has happened more than one time when someone is new to a community, like a parent who relocated here from 40 years living most of their lives somewhere far away. Maybe their home pastor who knew every part of their lives is four states away and cannot travel to officiate, and their funeral and burial your is here. So, there is no clergy member who knows their lives, their struggles, their triumphs, and their joys. What do you do?

Telling the story of our lives involves turning the entire concept of “What is a funeral” inside out and reinventing how things are presented in truly sharing who a person really was in their lifetime. In the way funerals are conducted now, families have so many new and, dare I say, fun ways to celebrate the lives of those they love the most. Remembering the happiest times in one’s life guarantees that the sharing of stories and events can be done without as much pain as when we recount events in a chronological, somewhat more sterile environment, using just words and presenting facts to absorb and recall later as having made an impact.

The Nov. 4 edition of the Wall Street Journal featured a story “How Morticians Are Putting the Fun in Funerals” and it describes the importance of themes in funerals that are present-day best described as true “Celebrations of Life.” With no disrespect to traditional funerals, which are still the choice of many of our families, we are well suited to offer nontraditional more “themed” services to families who want to try something new in telling their loved ones’ stories.

We have a Certified Life Celebrant and Tribute Writer on our team, Dawn Lee Wakefield, who helps you create the kind of service you want to present to family and friends who are attending. If you have some preliminary ideas and want to consider how they can be incorporated in a Celebration of Life service.

Most times these events occur at our Bryan location in our Bluebonnet Community Room, but we have extensive experience in holding memorial services at locations around town, from graveside to the beautiful ballroom of the boutique Stella Hotel, to the banks of Riverside Park near the source of water bordering the park perimeter. An extensive amount of experience in preparing for groups of any size is what our funeral directors and Life Celebrant offer to each family. They are equally skilled in preparing for a traditional church worship service in your home church or sanctuary of choice.

Our themed services are personal, not premade templates; when you share that the priorities in your parents’ or children’s lives were centered on a particular hobby or cherished skill (e.g., fishing, farming, golf, motorcycle racing, gardening, etc.), we can build a celebration of life that includes the most important aspects of their lives. Songs they loved, the ones they claimed as “theirs” or “their favorites” are even more appreciated when heard during the celebrations of life.

It may seem wrong to refer to putting fun into funerals and yet if a person’s life was filled with joy, doesn’t it make sense to convey a lot of that joy to the people who gather to pay respects to their lives? We believe it does.

Some people are longtime faithful alumni to where they went to school. They are active in visiting their high school or college campuses for sporting events and homecomings whenever they can. They donate to scholarships at those campuses to help future generations. Therefore, it makes sense to include their loved schools in some of the décor that we help you arrange in the lobby when there are visitations.

You may have photos available for a slide show, but you can also bring larger framed favorite photographs with you early to display in our lobby, so that your visitors can enjoy seeing pictures that brought you joy and good memories. People love to see photos that are decades old. It’s a part of their life that is new and fun to discover.

Was your loved one an artist or creative person? It’s always fun to discover the art that someone made during their lifetimes. Sometimes, friends of 20+ years don’t know everything about their longtime friends, so discovering things you did not know brings an extra smile during a time of grief. It helps families to share what was important to their loved ones with others. During visitation times, being able to explain to people the importance of childhood friends, activities, and favorite things is cathartic.

From themes involving sports, to hobbies, to outlining careers of grand achievement, each category brings an opportunity to share. Sharing a favorite story, song, instances of growth and development that led to your loved one becoming who they were to you is the best way in which to wish a beloved farewell to the people in your life. We specialize in honoring those alumni who have favorite schools. Examples of what we do for Aggie services are found here .

Recently there was a graveside service for a gentleman who had served in the military. At his service were three family members and three caregivers. Family members could share what was important to him in his childhood, and the caregivers knew his daily and current year likes and favorite things. Together they told the story of his life. Perspective, however, is based on the time in which people are in each other’s lives. For the first part of someone’s life, hopes and dreams fill the time and minds of children and young adults—what they hope to become and what they are willing to pursue as a path.

Reality comes in adult life, as people make choices that take up some of the space that was once filled with dreams. The story of one’s life then, is a combination of phases and stages of people, places, and events that define the development of a person into an amazing husband, wife, father, mother, sister, parent, and employee, boss, and retiree. Military service may enter their world. The elements and perspectives that develop over time offer so much information to share with others about what and who were truly important to that person. At Callaway-Jones, we help you tell the stories about your loved on, and we can help you define the themes that you want to use to share their stories. Together, we make sure their memories live on beyond one day, one moment in time, when you say goodbye and say, “Rest on.” Rest on, indeed.

Hidden Gems in Old Photos

Mon, 24 Oct 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Is your family one that has regular annual reunions either in the summer or at other holiday times? If so, it’s likely that in the past one of the family members was a faithful picture-taker and you could count on always having a great record of the family through the years. Then there was the fun of everyone trying to squeeze into one big group picture before the timer went off. Today it’s quite different with a person with our camera phones at the ready. Rarely have I seen a group photo that was taken at a family gathering taken with a “real” camera. Fortunately, professional photographers have studios or will come to your home to get those extra special pictures as your family grows.

One of the things we are hearing about from our families are the discoveries of boxes of photographs in their family attics or basements where hundreds of photos or photo albums are stored, having been unknown or unseen for decades. These old photos represent massive treasures in terms of presenting family histories and tales of when grandparents were growing up. If they are fortunate to have that many pictures, it’s difficult to get excited if you don’t have any idea who is in the photos. What a joy it is when someone has taken the time to inscribe the history of the photographs on the back of each picture, plus the added bonus of adding the year.

What is passed on with photos that is most valuable to generations that come later is to have the history of the instants and moments that are preserved in those photos. One of the best parts of reunions is to sit with the family patriarchs and hear the old stories about where their relatives lived growing up, what they did for a living, whether times were hard or easy and how they handled life, either way. You study the pictures together and see where there might be a nose or hairline in common, whether someone has the same expression in a photograph, etc. and how connected you feel to your ancestors, just by studying photographs.

Statistics show that “1.72 trillion photos are taken each year, worldwide” and in case you were wondering, the same survey noted that the average user has at least 2,100 photos on their smartphone. Now, only “750 billion images are on the internet, which is only 6% of the total photos that were ever taken, since most of the photos we take are never shared.” Now we do know from social media that photos of food served to guests manage to find their way to Facebook and Instagram for sure. It’s amusing but it happens! If it’s hard to wrap your head around 1.72 trillion pictures each year, it’s about 196 million pictures per hour, 3.3 million pictures per minute, or 54,400 pictures per second.

The sheer volume of photos then calls upon us to take the extra steps we need to, for us to be able to share our history with future generations. If you belong to an online genealogy service, such as ancestry.com or geni.com , you can upload photos directly to your own media files, but it would be helpful to identify or tag everyone in the photos so that 20–30 years from now people will know and appreciate who was in these photos. Every year we lose one more person, it seems, who holds the keys to this information about our families and no one else has this knowledge.

In addition to these genealogy services, other valuable ones exist, including familysearch.org and genealogybank.com as well as myheritage.com . But, beyond names, identifying photo and dates of birth and death, each person has a story to tell, and it’s key that we capture as many as we can from the individuals who have firsthand knowledge and the stories that connect our generations together.

Imagine what your gift of time and memories today will mean to people you’ve never even yet met who can feel a connection to you with the gift of your history.

One idea, if you discovered a box of photos before you could ask one of your relatives before they died, you can create a memory board and post them on presentation board with the caption “Are you in these photos?” If you display this board at visitation, many of the visitors might just be able to help you out with identifying people in the photos, their relationship to the family (relative or friend) and maybe each one will inspire a memory or a story about a loved one.

If you scan the photos into your computer, launch them on your Facebook page and ask for help. Anyone who can identify the photo subjects might appreciate receiving the original for their scrapbooks too.

No matter how “high tech” our society appears to approach as a status, photos are the only validation that we were once all together, happy, sharing life experiences in celebration and in sorrow, but most of all, we were together. Go check out your attic or basement today and see what you can find. Good luck!

Museum of the American G.I. is a Community Treasure

Mon, 10 Oct 2022 04:00:00 GMT

As you drive south on Highway 6 in College Station, heading toward Navasota, on your right your are going to pass by a complex, the Museum of the American G.I. that perhaps you think has been there for as long as you’ve known this area. In fact, it has only been a nonprofit that came to be in 2001 because a group of devoted former service personnel had a dream and committed its basic premise to establish a formal 501©3 where gifts could be given in support of this idea.

Many might think the idea came from Texas A&M, with a proud military history and tradition, but in fact it did not. It was current president and CEO Brent Mullins who met with area friends among veterans who had seen combat and lifelong military service as a career to see what their thoughts might be about establishing a center for housing actual combat vehicles that highlight the world of those who serve in “armor, infantry, and artillery units.”

Dr. Leisha Mullins serves as secretary and treasurer and she has been vital in collecting uniforms from service women in all service organizations. Justin Ellison is another Board Member since 2015 and “ leads the museum’s living history program and the Armored Support Group.”

In addition to housing the equipment, the museum would serve to honor those veterans who provided service to their country and possibly gave their lives during combat. There is nothing so awesome as seeing the faces of children when they stand in front of a real tank. The tank towers over them and to see the sophisticated location of weapons on the tanks is itself awe-inspiring.

You can see the uniforms that service personnel wore so many year ago; you can stand right in front of a real Sherman tank, and the next time you say something “is as big as a Sherman tank,” you’ll really know exactly how big that is. All the equipment, museum personnel say, is fully restored and functional.

Twenty years ago, a small group of advocates went out into the community and spoke with individuals about the idea. Robin Silva was one of those people I recall who was an early proponent. Her career in the Army prepared her well. Together with other equally enthusiastic volunteers, they sat and talked with anyone who would listen about the idea. Ultimately an attractive prospectus was designed, complete with drawings and group President Mullins had a line on several first pieces of equipment to bring in.

In time, the plot of land was located and secured portable but solid buildings were constructed and equipment began arriving to be put into motion. Brent Mullins was uniquely qualified to lead the group as he is considered “a worldwide leading expert in historical U.S. military hardware. There is also his devotion as a reenactor and vendor in national military events and it has translated into benefiting our community through Living History Weekend, held annually onsite.

A quick check of their calendar shows that on October 22, from 8am to 5pm, there will be the WWII Tank Experience, with the M24 Chaffee and MS Stuart Light Tanks. Participants can ride in the tanks, watch as the main gun fires, and have photos and videos to remember the day. There’s no denying the fact that many future Texas A&M Corps of Cadets students will come here via the Museum of the American GI or a school ROTC program in preparation for their becoming Aggies.

The next event is their History in Motion weekend November 12-13, and November 19, there will be History AAR with Stephen Moore, which includes the chance to ride in the tank, fire a 75mm Howitzer of maybe a paintball machine gun. Visit here for details, pricing, and tickets. Some activities require just an entrance ticket but admission and participation into other activities can be secured. Always check their website first before you go.

Visit their website www.americanmuseum.org/education/ daily to learn “This Day in History” and “Explore History” to learn the important stories of U.S. military history and leaders as well as being great sources for trivia and Geography Bees, held at area schools.

The Brazos Valley continues to be at the forefront of activities that enhance and enrich learning and curiosity for area children and young families. Next month, or sooner, make the short drive out there and take in everything our area has to give. I can’t wait until Rowen is older so we can take him there with us and see his reaction. Meanwhile we are starting with pointing out to him the changing of the leaves where we point and say: “How beautiful!” We are so lucky to have our Museum of the American G.I. right here in our on community.

MSC OPAS AT 50 — Happy Golden Anniversary, Fabulous at Fifty!

Wed, 28 Sep 2022 04:00:00 GMT

There’s no way you could have convinced J. Wayne Stark, Aggie grad who was the director of the TAMU Memorial Student Center, a man who loved that building with every fiber of his being, that something he started in 1972 would be one of the most prestigious and beneficial nonprofits ever to grace the Brazos Valley. With the premiere performance of Season 50, it is only fitting that the inaugural performance of the season is “50 Years of Rock N Roll,” produced by composer and lyricist Neil Berg.

Think back five decades. The albums you likely owned were by Lubbock’s own Buddy Holly, Chuck Berry, Elvis the king, Ray Charles, plus the current version of what was the sound by The Beatles in the studio days, the ubiquitous Beach Boys, and the world was embracing singer/songwriters Carole King, James Taylor, and Joni Mitchell. Harmonies would give way to ballads by Linda Ronstadt, anthems by Aretha Franklin, and harder sounds of Aerosmith and Journey. Most of these artists are represented in the shows planned for Sept. 27 and 28.

But back on campus in 1972, there was only G. Rollie White as the concert venue, with a seating capacity of 2500. One year Wayne Stark was approached by members of the Woman’s Club of Bryan with the request to consider bringing in some “culture” to meet up with the new influx of women into the student body. Two significant changes at once. Stark was enthusiastic about the MSC Town Hall Series, in existence since 1951, but it had been the “only game in town” before. Students comprised much of the committee with requisite faculty and staff advisors. But then ca. 1970, the beautiful new Rudder building complex was finished, complete with three places to see live performances: Rudder Auditorium, Rudder Theatre, and Rudder Forum.

Suddenly Texas A&M could offer what they could not offer before. A wide range of arts, music, stage, and competitive events could occur throughout the year. In the beginning, Wayne oversaw the evolution, together with an advisory board that was collected to provide input and hopefully funding sources to sponsor beyond what A&M’s budget could potentially offer. They could host the stars of country music, the best in national musical variety, and having a facility as beautiful as the Rudder Complex would require an operational wizard capable of landing the C5-A plane on a very short runway.

Those who were around at the time remember Jim Reynolds, a quiet, calm man who seemed capable of pulling rabbits out of a hat and making it look easy. He became the executive in charge. Wayne Stark’s active role had come to coincide with his retirement from his beloved A&M, but he knew the effort would be in good hands with Reynolds. Stark’s role in MSC OPAS was best chronicled in an article in the season premiere catalog for OPAS 20—the Encore Season.

A student MSC OPAS committee seemed natural and an OPAS Advisory Board would come into being, primarily to help with programming. Then, to support and enhance getting the word out about performances, an advisory guild would be needed. This would be the OPAS Guild then. Although the operation of the OPAS Advisory Board would be up to a committee of some 20 individuals whose interest in and support of “fine music and culture,” one person would be integral to the organization’s success from the get-go. That person is Ann Wiatt. Ann was a leading community leader and do-gooder, and all-around event chairwoman whose local involvement ranged from The Woman’s Club to the Arts Council of Brazos Valley and her sons’ PTOs. Her husband, Bob, traveled often for his job in the FBI so she had substantial free time to donate to helping launch the support rocket.

The first performer booked was a guitarist—Christopher Parkening. A prolific genius who was gentle and kind, he also agreed to lead a master class in guitar for Texas A&M students who wanted to know more. From that most fitting, auspicious event in 1972 MSC OPAS launched 50 years of phenomenal entertainment for students, faculty and staff to enjoy, as well as the Brazos Valley community who wanted to join in.

After Jim Reynolds started an organization that ran brilliantly it was only fitting that his successor be equally skilled in leadership and foresight. You have to know a year in advance what will be popular here and if it is available on your budget. Enter Anne Black, a lovely, kind and wise leader who also found time to lead, guide, and inspire an extremely large group of students of MSC OPAS, who serve as greeters, ushers, merch salespersons and other roles behind the scenes.

Internationally regarded symphonies have been here. The Bolshoi Ballet came and stayed to play for a week, both on stage and in town. Opera stars have graced our stages and so have The Beach Boys (at least one variation of them). Carol Burnett came to see us. Star after star appeared on the Main Stage of Rudder Auditorium. Most fittingly, the OPAS performances there are permanently known now as the Ann Cobb Wiatt Main Stage. If memory serves, this is her 50th year to sell all the program ads for the programs you receive as you walk in.

Tonight’s performance of Neil Berg’s “50 Years of Rock ‘n Roll” is most fitting. OPAS has a tremendous lineup of shows for adults, children, and a season “Fabulous & Fifty” that will delight all audiences for the entire year. Here’s a list of upcoming dates this year:

Sept. 27, 28 Neil Berg’s 50 Years of Rock ‘N Roll (Rudder Auditorium)

Oct. 1, 2 Winnie the Pooh (Rudder Theatre)

Oct. 13 The Other Mozart (Intimate Gatherings)

Oct. 25 Back Home Again — A Tribute to John Denver (Rudder Auditorium)

Nov. 15, 16 Stomp (Rudder Auditorium)

Dec. 1 The Swingles (Rudder Theatre)

Dec 6, 7 My Fair Lady (Rudder Auditorium)

The lineup for 2023 is equally as exciting. Support MSC OPAS by purchasing season tickets and making an additional contribution or attend their annual MSC OPAS Gala, which usually sells out quickly.

Whether you attend a few performances per year or you become a season ticket holder, know that 50 years ago, a group of amazing local residents pooled their talents and experience and brought entertainment to the Texas A&M campus and the Brazos Valley community in a major way. MSC OPAS – the Callaway-Jones family salutes you and wishes you another outstanding 50 years of performances! Bravo!

Preserving Living Memories

Sun, 11 Sep 2022 04:00:00 GMT

On this day in 2001, our world came to a halt as our lives changed forever. For some adults who’d been through World War II, they were no stranger to announcement of episodes of attack and nationwide fear that followed. Taking down the World Trade Center and the attempted takedown of the Pentagon took with it lives of people whose names are remembered today all over the United States. The instance of those losses of life gave rise to the need to remember loved ones. So many questions, like what were their names, once they could be identified, and who are their families, what role did those whose lives were lost fill in their home communities? How many people were counting on them?

The Harvard Gazette reported a few years ago that “those with strong social support experienced less mental deterioration as they aged.”

“The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health,” said Robert Waldinger , director of the study, a psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital and a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School . “Taking care of your body is important, but tending to your relationships is a form of self-care too. That, I think, is the revelation.”

Even 20 years ago, a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology addressed, “individuals acquire age stereotypes several decades before coming old. When individuals reach old age and the stereotypes become self-relevant, they have already internalized these stereotypes.” Further, “Once individuals become older, they may lack the defenses of other groups to ward off the impact of negative stereotypes…”

However, in 2022, CNN broadcast a story that a scientist, David Sinclair , has reversed aging in mice and believes the same can be done for people.” And in New York’s Mt. Sinai School of Medicine, researcher and professor Charles Mobbs has studies supporting that their team has found a molecular trigger that helps prevent aging and disease.

What this means is that in the past 20 years since 9/11, researchers have rushed to find ways and means of prolonging life, with an eye on staving off the typical aging diseases and reversing the general process of declining bodies due to age. Especially in the Brazos Valley, we find that daily photos of residents turning 104 and 105 are becoming more normal than rare. So many of these people have sharp minds and even sharper memories. These are the people who family should embrace, talk to, interview, record on camera, and take voluminous notes about not only other family members, but about the times in life they grew up in.

Where did they live? How many family members in one house? What was transportation for them? What invention came about in their lifetimes that made a real change in how they felt about the future? What advice did they have for this generation and the one still to come. Imagine what it would be like to hold in your hands a letter or group of memories that were written in 2022 about someone born in 1932? What if that person read those memories in 2052?

Our stories are our legacies to gift to the generations ahead, as they were passed all along to those of us in the Baby Boomer generation.

Whether we lose people to a senseless tragedy or to the general process of aging—loss is a real thing, and we spend an extreme amount of time coming to terms with who and what we lost. Of all the losses we encounter, the ability to say “I love you” out loud to someone and have them hear you and respond is just one. To many of us, it is the most important.

Observing benchmarks and milestones in our lives surrounded by people who have gone before us, and whom we expect to be there for us always, is a gift that can be gone in the blink of an eye. Although these past 21 years since 9/11 have brought some peace and understanding in our hearts, we still envision our missing loved ones in our memories and wonder how they might feel if there could just see our son’s football games, our daughter’s wedding, and all those “together times” that make up landmarks in our family history.

When we observe a special event, rarely do we watch with an eye on “remember this always because they won’t be here next year.” That sounds dismal and negative. But when you have a large family, someone is always busy in school, in sports and extracurricular activities and in attending all the family events where our presence makes a difference can be a challenge. Sometimes you have to prepare a spreadsheet for grandparents to see who all can make what event so a child always has family coverage. Living memories are a positive and lasting way to preserve important moments in our lives, for the time in the future where someone wants to know more about our families.

What was it that Grandpa always used to say whenever someone asked him how he was doing? Do you remember what Mom and Dad’s favorite song was, the one they danced to at their wedding? What was Nathan’s favorite song as a teenager? He wouldn’t stop playing it over and over in the car, drove us crazy?

So many nuances make people distinct in our minds. Characteristics of what they wore, maybe a special perfume or after shave, a kind of t-shirt they like best, a song, a phrase, a poem, or a Bible verse might be as unique to a person as their own fingerprint. When we describe the people we love, right after we’ve lost them, we scramble sometimes in our minds to remember things about them that stood out for us.

Under pressure or time deadline, the memories don’t always come to mind the way we’d hope. So, in addition to reflecting on 9/11 as a day of tragedy and need to be rescued by our first responders, who did so admirably and beautifully, let us also vow to “do better,” by keeping in regular touch with our seniors, providing them positive, upbeat ways to let them know they are vital and needed in the lives of your families. Record the family members on video, save their handwritten notes, start scrapbooks of reunions and any family gatherings that come up. Study the latest news and ask questions during doctor’s appointments to see what is the latest way to either prevent or slow down some of the diseases that attack a troubled body system and helps to age gracefully. Stay positive and upbeat, active and healthy for a long and very satisfying life. Live your best life starting today.

Cody D. Jones ’02

Owner & Community Member

Football Season — Is Your Schedule Set?

Sun, 28 Aug 2022 04:00:00 GMT

It’s that most exciting time of the year again! Every Fall in Aggieland presents all of us with one of the greatest gifts of all —a tabula rasa, or more commonly known as a “clean slate.” All the record books on the 22-23 season are reset to ‘0.’ This is 0 Losses at this point in the season and the possibilities for winning are unparalleled!

First up—Texas Aggie football begins this coming weekend! Kickoff on Sat. Sept. 3 is at 11 am and we’re hosting the Bearkats of Sam Houston.

Across from Kyle Field they’re putting final touches on the most exciting new tailgating spot and community visiting area for Aggies to gather before, during, and after games. It’s not quite finished yet but watch how fast it progresses this fall. If you don’t have your season tickets to the games yet, check out Stubhub for individual games and extra seats.

Fans can look forward to: “ Aggie Park ”! Think of it in terms of “an outdoor MSC” and a water source, landscaping galore, an outdoor amphitheatre and to go with it, a spectacular Kickoff Concert featuring headliner Robert Earl Keen ’78, with Max Stalling ’89, Julianna Rankin, ’18, and the Barn Dogs (’23-’25). Best of all, it’s a free concert. Register at this link .

Football in Texas begins every Thursday afternoon for the junior varsity, Friday afternoons and evenings for high school to share their skills on the varsity teams, Saturdays are for all the college games, and Sundays of course are for Pro football, with the occasional Monday and Thursday night lineup to work in.

The Bryan Vikings’ schedule is here .

For the Rudder Rangers’ schedule, click here .

The Allen Academy’s Rams’ schedule is here .

The St. Joseph’s Catholic Eagles schedule is here .

College Station Cougars’ play on this schedule here .

The A&M Consolidated Tigers’ play here .

The Normangee Panthers’ schedule is here .

The Navasota Rattlers’ schedule is here .

The Hearne Eagles’ schedule is here .

The Brenham Cubs’ schedule is here .

So, now that you know where some of our area youth are, don’t forget that they are also at soccer practice, golf practice, and countless other sessions that prepare kids for their future.

Life is so much like a sports competition. Everyone comes in with a clean slate; you have a chance to learn from adults and older teens willing to teach, you work hard to learn the rules of the game. Every week you reinforce what you learned before and add a new element in. Eventually you know all the plays.

You learn teamwork, getting along with people, even if they fail you. You give people a second chance. You learn to share credit and share responsibility. It’s all about team, all day, every day. These are just some of the life lessons that they will keep all of their lives. Character building begins when our young people learn competition sports.

So, every year is an opportunity to teach good behavior, being a good sport, and never giving up. The daily grind is a guarantee for success in their adult years. Get your team colors on and we’ll see you at the games this fall!

Welcoming Brazos Valley Students to Their Future —A Salute to Teachers

Tue, 16 Aug 2022 04:00:00 GMT

As our son Rowen approaches his first birthday, Chelsea and I have been giving thought to the ways in which we engage in intelligent play with him, the resources we use, and the examples we set when it comes to books, pictures, music, and most of all, the words we use with him. That’s a lot to consider.

This morning no doubt we all faced challenges getting to our usual workplace. I am notoriously early when I have an appointment, thanks to my grandfather’s insistence on that in my life. It also makes me aware of the precious nature of time and how fast it flies.

I’ve enjoyed the tradition of seeing each of you posting your children, grandchildren, or dear friends’ children on their traditional “first day” of school. Who would have believed it was just 10 weeks ago that classes let out for Spring end of year, and today, they’ve returned in full force? What are your hopes for the children you love this year?

Beyond the fundamentals of reading, writing, and math, I think we are all most appreciative of teachers who make it their priority every day to meet our children where they learn best. Every child has a learning style as unique as a fingerprint and not everyone can learn the same way.

One secret to success I remember from years ago was the story a professor told about a teacher getting a printout (remember those?) of the test scores at the beginning of the year for her class. She stood in front of the class and said, “I’m very pleased to tell you that your class has the BEST standardized test scores in the school. That means each of you is ready to learn the most from our school year. When we take our exit tests, this predicts we will again be the best. From time to time during the year, the teacher would remind the class they were “best,” and she knew they were all doing wonderfully, based on their grades each six weeks.

At the end of the school year, their test results came back, once again, the top in the school. The principal came to the classroom to congratulate the class on their “amazing accomplishments” and smiled broadly. Privately she said to the teacher, “I don’t know how you did it, but your class went from worst in the school to best in nine short months!” The teacher was puzzled. Apparently, she’d been sent the wrong test scores and never knew her class tested out the worst of all the others.

Isn’t it amazing what confidence a teacher gives to a student? Parents play a large role in this effort as well. Education is not about parents’ doing their children’s homework for them. I’d say that only 30% of today’s parents even have time available to ask a child if they have homework. But, a note a parent writes to his or her child and puts in a lunch sack each day, a parent who writes a note on the wood of a #2 pencil of their child that encourages them, “Have a great day! Love, Mom” goes a long way to the child’s attitude towards learning and achieving.

Children don’t go into classes each year with new tennis shoes, a new notebook, and some new pencils where they expect to fail. They are usually excited to learn, to meet and see new friends, and to get through to the next class year and keep going until they graduate high school. How a child feels about kindergarten and first grade will determine whether they think college is for them. Maybe they want to take over a family business and want to study a trade plus business and finance and psychology to managing people. When your six years old, eleven years old, or even fourteen years old, it’s often still too soon to know what you want to be.

The best way to prepare a child for their future is to teach them how to work independently as well as in groups, to use the library and all the tremendous (and free!) resources that your tax dollars make possible, and teacher’s hours and fellow student tutoring hours are available to every student, if you look. Talking to other parents, finding outside tutors or affordable group sessions at places in town can help. If you find in talking to your children’s teachers and principals that they don’t really know your child, it’s a good measure to help you know their level of commitment to their success. Not every school can be A+ rated. But, here’s some good news.

If you’re in Bryan, you have Mounce Library , and if you are in College Station, you have Ringer Library . For your pre-K and early learners, both branches have collections of books that you can check out that are perfect to encourage children to read. The love of reading leads to a love of spelling, increased vocabulary, and children who love books tend to be more successful throughout their school career than those who say, “I really don’t like reading.”

There’s a tutoring resource in the libraries but you need a library card. It’s often an exciting rite of passage when your youngster gets his or her first card! Visit tutor.com/bclpls for details.

Parents who are involved in activities at their children’s campuses and who meet parents of other students have another advantage to staying aware of upcoming assignments, tests, bake sales, and other activities that are important for parents to attend. Again, when both parents work or in single parent families, it’s not always possible to be there in person, but perhaps you have a family member who can fill that role and be your student’s resource throughout the school year, a partner in learning.

Finally, for all of us who are relearning how to get to work each day with the new traffic flows and demand for passage through stop signs and street lights in and near school zones, it’s good to add in an extra 15 or 20 minutes every day until things settle in.

Don’t get too comfortable, though, because the Corps of Cadets students are already on campus, the coming week will be “Rush Week” for the fraternities and sororities for Texas A&M, the path to Blinn will be heavy and backed up as registration continues. First day of classes is Monday, Aug. 22 for Sam Houston, and Wednesday, Aug. 24 for Texas A&M and Blinn. Whether you are heading north, west, east, or south, practice defensive driving and assume the driver in front of you is on their phone, texting, or otherwise distracted. Those extra five or ten miles an hour faster that you don’t travel will give you plenty of time to slow down in an emergency, plus improved gas mileage.

Our entire community is officially built on the success, joy, faith, confidence, and productivity of the children and young adults who enroll in educational institutions to “become” that person they always wanted to be “one day.” Here’s to making their first days, and everyday after that a great experience. Prayers for all teachers and students this year for safety, for peace of mind, and for thanks for all the resources provided by the Educational Foundation nonprofits established to help. Welcome Fall, 2022 and to the newest members of the Class of 2026! Most of all, thanks to all who chose education as their profession. God bless all of our teachers, principals, and support staff.

Cody D. Jones

Owner & Community Member

Is Your Name Included on Our Brazos Valley Veterans Memorial?

Sun, 31 Jul 2022 04:00:00 GMT

August 15 ^th is the deadline you’re going to want to remember!

Have you and your family had the chance, recently, to visit College Station’s Veterans Park? In addition to Memorial Day, Veterans Day, and other national holidays, the chance to be present in a tranquil, reverent environment, shaded by trees even in this unbearable heat, is a chance to meditate on life.

At Callaway-Jones, we never take for granted the military service of our families. We honor the tradition of their service to country according to the wishes of the family. It can range from a U.S. flag-draped casket, to a 21-gun salute at our funeral center or at the graveside, along with the playing of “Taps.” We do this for every branch of military service with pride and great humility as we owe a debt of gratitude to those who went before us that we can truly never say “thank you” enough.

Beyond the ceremony that gives thanks for their life, the Brazos Valley Veterans Memorial is an excellent place for a lasting commemoration of your loved one’s memory. They could be 18 years old when they enlisted, whether in 1944, 1964, or 2004, and they belong there. They do not have to have lived here in BCS. Instead, they just need to be part of your family or dear friends of your family. Where part of their love for you or your regard for them resides, their name qualifies to be here.

Every year at this time there’s a limited window of opportunity (by August 15th) to add the name of someone in your family or group of friends to the Brazos Valley Veterans Memorial. Our community has been blessed with a beautiful red granite Wall of Honor in the center of the Louis L. Adam Memorial Plaza at Veterans Park in College Station.

As of July 2020, over 5,000 names of “veterans representing all periods of U.S. history who are family and friends of Brazos Valley residents” are on the Memorial Wall of Honor. The cost is only $150 to have their name and branch of service added to the wall. Information and a form you can download is here . Payments are accepted online with credit or debit cards and you can mail checks to the address found there.

An easy-to-use guided map of each soldier’s name is found in computer kiosks at the park or you can look it up online at home here . There’s something transcendant about standing in front of the red granite monument and tracing the name of your loved one with your finger. Some people bring a pencil and blank sheet of paper to do a rubbing, the way we used to do in school, just to have as a family keepsake, including photos of family members at the site.

[Photos courtesy Brazos Valley Veterans Memorial]

Because not all residents have these magnificent monuments in their original birth town, or town of longest residence, even if they have never resided here in Bryan-College Station or the Brazos Valley before, if they are in your heart, their name can be on this wall. The sign-up form asks only for Veteran Name and the service branch.

Service branch choices include: Army, Air Force, Marine Corps, Navy, Coast Guard, Merchant Marine, Public Health Service, Confederate States of America, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, and the more recent Space Force. General information is all online at BVVM.org, Facebook.com/bvvets, and you can reach out to them at info@bvvm.org or call (979) 574-7121.

One note for this year’s August 15 ^th deadline to have your loved one’s name included: according to the website,

“Names submitted by Aug. 15 will still be recognized through our ceremony’s Honor Wall Roll Call and listed in the printed program. Once new names are engraved, we will contact applicants to let them know.”

This is because the engraving vendors had circumstances beyond their control and could not have the engraving completed in time for Veterans Day this year.

So, you have slightly more than 2 weeks to take action if you would like to add someone special’s name to the Wall of Honor. And to all who have served our country who we should honor every single day, please know you have our deepest respect and highest regard for your selfless gift on behalf of all of us.

Don’t forget — August 15th is this year’s deadline!

Family Tree—How Does Your Garden Grow?

Sun, 17 Jul 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Summer is the perfect time for family reunions. Beyond the usual gatherings that feature great meals and cousins meeting from around the country, these are perfect times for the youngest generation to ask questions of their grandparents and, if they are fortunate, of their great-grandparents.

Family discussions are rich in history and when you’re young, it’s easy to get bored and walk away because all the people they’re discussing are those you never met, ones who are no longer there with you, and you might never have seen a picture of them. So, why would you care about listening to old stories that don’t involve you? Right?

That is a typical feeling of anyone under the age of, say, 25. It doesn’t happen often, but now and then, there’s an “old soul” in your family who, at a very early age, asks the seniors in the group what it was like for them growing up in a day and time when things were not always easy. When a war might have been going on and family members were serving, how many of your relatives were in military service? Do you know? What branches? What ranks did they attain?

Now, can you name your grandmother’s maiden name on your Mom’s side and your Dad’s side? Do you know how many children there were in their houses growing up, where they grew up? Have you visited the old family home, if it is even still there?

So often in our work as funeral professionals, we see families who would like to tell the story of their loved ones in photographs. But when it comes time to upload pictures into the online, they don’t know where “the box” of family photos is, or who has the scrapbooks, or where online they could look to find them. Then, if they’re lucky, someone has at least scanned the photographs into their iPhones and e-mailed some to you, but you’re missing quality and resolution.

A big favor you can do in your family is to be or become the family history resource person for all of your generations that you still have. Every year newly retired seniors in the family trek around the country, visiting gravesites and observing National Cemetery Day. Not all graveyards are perpetual care facility and it is up to the family to come and replace old silk flowers with new ones, and even move debris away from the grave site and in general, assure the marker and site don’t fall into disrepair.

Those gifted and giving relatives who are into genealogy often begin with a search into their own family, their mom’s side and their dad’s side. They start with birthday information and where they grew up and went to school. They are lucky if they know their great-grandparents’ names, and simply where they were born and grew up. Then, where and when they died, and possibly where they are buried.

In wartime of course, there were soldiers whose bodies were not returned home and fellow soldiers dug wartime graves where these soldiers are buried. Individual facts of regular life and death can seem so trivial, but when it comes time to write an obituary for a family member who has passed, it is so easy to forget what you’ve always known. If it is recorded permanently somewhere, in writing, you will be so glad you took the time when emotions were not involved to gather and compile this information.

Now, as far as the quality of information, trust but verify. Poll several of your family members to confirm that family names, middle names, nick names, and legal names are all consistent before you enter and record them. People are free to give you their memories, but they only know what they’ve been told over the years as well. Over time, stories and facts change as a function of others’ memories. Again, trust but confirm so your history will be accurate.

How far back does your family tree go? Look in your file of important papers right now, and do you find there a copy of your family tree? What is your personal knowledge of your ancestors? How many of your great and great-great relatives do you remember meeting and knowing in person when you were a child? Do you have photographs of yourself with them at a family gathering?

If you like online family trees, consider joining ancestry.com , and there’s also geni.com as a popular site. They have free membership levels and some paid levels to maintain contact data and to search their vast resources. One place to begin is Top 10 Genealogy Sites to study your options for resources that can help you explore past generations.

The key to a good tree is to constantly update with each new fact you learn along the way. Cemeteries, old newspaper clippings, old scrapbooks with labeled and dated photographs get passed on through generations. Look through these books with your seniors and learn the stories and tell your grandchildren one day about the things they have common with generations that they met and those they didn’t get to meet. Work on building your family’s story today, and good luck!

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

Long May She Wave—That Flag We Raise on the 4th of July

Sun, 03 Jul 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Every year at this time I’ve always been proud of Bryan’s Flag Across Bryan program. It’s great to see streets lined with flags in front of businesses and then into the neighborhoods to see them up and down the streets. I’ve been equally proud of College Station Noon Lions Club’s “I Love America” celebration at the George H.W. Bush Presidential Library and Museum each year.

The Wheelock community has a BBQ and parade in the morning, and the Brazos Heritage Society Old Fashioned Fourth of July in the Park downtown brings memories of our friend Tom McDonald, who was instrumental in getting that startedKurten has a tremendous fireworks show after dark. Bryan’s fireworks will be at Bryan’s RELLIS campus with a drone show promised. Patriotism begins early, and it begins at home.

On the 4 ^th of July, children are first introduced to the American flag, generally, by being gifted with a free small flag on a stick to wave in the air usually before a local neighborhood or city parade. Then they see red, white, and blue banners or bunting and as they grow, associate the flag with “patriotism,” which you display, particularly on federal holidays. Bright, upbeat music plays. Fireworks round out the day of celebration.

How much, though, do we remember about July 4 ^th or patriotic facts after we leave high school? I went back to my favorite history resource and started asking questions and looking for answers.

Quick question—what is the name of the song that sings of “and the rockets’ red glare”? If you said, “The Star Spangled Banner.” you’d be right. The term “the stars and stripes forever” comes from what song? Is it from the “Banner” song? Nope. It’s from the John Philip Sousa march “The Stars and Stripes Forever.” How quickly we can forget unless we make it a priority to recall.

Now, how many stars are there on the U.S. flag? How many stripes? We usually remember 13 stripes for the original 13 colonies on which the United States was founded. And there are 50 stars, one for each U.S. state.

What are two other patriotic songs you hear (mostly at sporting events) in addition to “The Star Spangled Banner? “America” and “America the Beautiful.” The one you probably remember first is “America the Beautiful” because it begins “Oh beautiful for spacious skies, for amber waves of grain.” How does “America” begin?

You know you know this. It’s been a while since anyone asked us, likely. “My country tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.” Most of us need to hear the first few notes or lines of the song and we’re off and running as we have sung it so many times before (especially if you grew up anywhere in Texas) but it’s still not a front of mind series of facts.

How is it then that we teach children about the history of the 4 ^th of July, about the battles that took place to free the United States from England, to gain the freedoms to live without a single monarch in charge, to be able to have a Constitution by which to live, work, and worship, to see that it had been amended (how many times? 27)

We tend to remember only 25 amendments because historians note that two of them were related to a) prohibition and b) overturning prohibition. From 1776 to 2022, 25 essential amendments is a record for a small number of changes over many years. The future could hold some more amendments, or it might not. Time will tell, but the past is no predictor of the future.

Thinking of those public servants who brought America carefully into the 1800s, the 1900s, and the 2000s, they shared a singular vision—to preserve, protect, and defend the constitution and the government and freedoms we all enjoy. Looking at the 1800s and at the 2000s is like comparing apples and oranges, though. Or is it? The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Today we still have those who enlist in the service of the country. We have those who fight internationally to preserve our freedoms or those of an ally. We band together in prayers for the safety of our loved ones in this endeavor.

A large number of people we know are called federal civil servants for the agencies they work in and serve. And, most of all, patriots still exist today, and do more than wave a flag to identify themselves as Americans. They say the pledge of allegiance at various public events. They sing an anthem or two when they are played, mostly at our sporting contests, and we hold our hands over our hearts when we see the flag.

The cost of lives that was paid to have the freedoms we do today is substantial. There’s even greater cost when those freedoms are challenged. How you want the future to look for your children and grandchildren begins with the first time you place a flag in our little one’s hands. On Monday, July 4, 2022, take a photo of you with your children as they hold their first flag. It’s the very first day they identify themselves as a patriot. May it ever be thus for all who live in America. God bless the USA. Happy 4 ^th of July to you all.

Cody D. Jones’ 02, Owner & Community Member

Father’s Day Takes on Brand New Meaning This Year

Sun, 19 Jun 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Every year when Father’s Day has come around, my mind has always gone toward my dad and my grandfather, who were great role models. It’s previously been a day of reflection and missing the generations before, but this time it’s different for me.

Last August, when Rowen Michael Jones arrived in this world, making me a father, and Chelsea a Mom, he transformed my life in a way I never anticipated could happen. In this past year, I’ve been able to experience so many firsts and the joy is unreal.

Now, as delightful as it is to have a son, I’ve had to learn a few rules that are new to my generation. As a new dad I have to admit I know absolutely nothing about parenting. I’m learning as fast as I can and reading every resource I can get my hands on. Friends who are already dads are also telling me some good things to remember, too. But it’s not as easy as it looked.

We’re lucky that our golden doodle, Bogey, has welcomed his younger brother. They are friends for life. So when I talk to one of them I have to look at both of them. It’s like having a supervisor sometimes!

Rowen is a happy-natured baby and for the most part he’s been generous with his sleeping habits, so Chelsea and I have been able to get some sleep, too. In his youngest days, that wasn’t always the case, but we’ve caught up with what we lost…almost.

He’s grown so much so quickly, I’m determined to document each new thing he does. Fortunately we have camera phones that are right where we’re looking for them. He’s learned to love riding in the golf cart (when it’s cooler) and he’s been given the opportunity to watch some soccer on TV. I know I have a sports buddy for years to come. And I’ll love taking him to his first games and maybe helping to coach his teams at whatever he wants to play. The soccer ball will always be within sight in his room, but no pressure.

Today we enjoy many technological advances for children to learn and study and grow up, being challenged with colors, shapes, and textures for academic preparation and science, technology, engineering, and math. He loves his stuffed animals and dinosaurs are very popular. Nature prints are all over his room.

To all of you who are dads, you know each one of these facts about your children, their likes, dislikes, preferences, and you’re seeing what your children will want to do as they grow up. Yes, you all have a great head start on me, but I am enjoying the journey to learning new things about fatherhood and about Rowen.

I want to commend all of you who are fathers and those who are father figures and step-up dads to the young people who need and appreciate you. Thank you for being there for them. The difference the gift of your time in their worlds is priceless. Happy Father’s Day to all of you!

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

The Role of a Funeral Director in the Midst of Tragedy

Sat, 28 May 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Our nation was rocked on Tuesday by the tragedy in Uvalde. I can’t begin to describe my grief knowing so many lives were lost—beloved children and teachers who went to school that day eagerly anticipating field day activities as part of the end of school year ritual. As a new parent, I jumped ahead as I thought about one day dropping our son off at school just as they did.

I thought of our friends at Hillcrest Memorial Funeral Home in Uvalde and owner, LeRoy Briones. His team would be called on to bring comfort, provide services, and remain strong for families through the coming days. I remembered our training as funeral directors, a side of our profession that the general public never sees.

Funeral directors are sometimes perceived as stoic, but in fact it is stillness and balance that we offer you. Even though we hurt with you, we focus on your decisions that must be made. Our profession prepares us to remain calm and helpful for you each step of the way.

Years of study, continuing education, and professional development are part of our careers. At state or national funeral director association conferences, be assured that we invest time and resources to stay abreast of highest and best practices in our profession. When parents had to enter that elementary school and confirm their child by identifying shirts and shoes they wore that morning, it is unthinkable, but real.

When you entrust your loved ones into our care, our job is to create a reassuring environment for you to know that they are being given our love and tender care in your behalf as we prepare for services you want to remember them. Faith in everlasting life reassures as we contemplate precious lives lost. We pray for a better future in Uvalde, in Texas, and in our country. We feel your grief and send our love to Uvalde.

This is the most current list of those whose lives were lost in the tragedy:

Irma Garcia, teacher

Eva Mireles, teacher

Layla Salazar, 10

Nevaeh Bravo, 10

Jacklyn Cazares, 9

Makenna Lee Elrod, 10

Jose Flores, 10

Ellie Garcia, 9

Uziyah Garcia, 10

Amerie Jo Garza, 10

Xavier Lopez, 10

Jayce Luevanos, 10

Tess Mata, 10

Miranda Mathis, 11

Alithia Ramirez, 10

Annabelle Guadalupe Rodriguez, 10

Maite Rodriguez, 10

Alexandria “Lexi” Aniyah Rubio, 10

Layla Salazar, 10

Jailah Nicole Silguero, 11

Eliahana “Elijah” Cruz Torres, 10

Rojelio Torres, 10

They will be remembered. May the Lord grant peace and healing to all the families, the people of Uvalde, the state of Texas, and our nation. We are all impacted by this event and we pray for an ending to these senseless tragedies in our country. Amen.

For many across the Brazos Valley this weekend, area seniors participated in commencement ceremonies that mark 12+ years of study in Brazos Valley schools. Over 950 seniors crossed the stage of College Station High School. Over at Bryan Collegiate, 71 students celebrated the attainment of 3,400 college credit hours, according to The Eagle’s recitation of the weekend’s facts. These 71 students not only earned 200 college acceptances, most importantly, they contributed 10,000 hours of community service.

After high school, a teenager has a large number of choices to make about their paths ahead.

For some decisions had been made years ago, by parents who planned and saved for this day. The cost of tuition at Blinn and Texas A&M, at Sam Houston and at Prairie View, all of which are within daily driving distance—varies. Often students have to take out massive loans and enter into financial debt that will follow them for 15-20 years beyond college graduation.

For that reason college is not always the first answer to a post-high school path. Trade schools are an excellent option to a guaranteed job beyond high school. Military service is another key opportunity to grow, mature, serve your country, and earn funds toward post-service education. Many choose to delay college for very good reasons. Other students have already held a job for 20-40 hours a week while completing high school for several years.

In some cases, they have been primary income sources for younger siblings to be able to grow up together. Not all families have two parents who work. Not all families have jobs that can afford a safe, warm place to live. Our local and area schools go far to try and help raise our young people and provide extras when they are not readily available, and we appreciate every action taken, from former Principal Chrissy Hester’s “closet” for students who outgrow clothes faster than money is available to replace them. Bryan schools have resources and community and church groups who adopt classes and school campuses, raising new blue jeans, underwear, and socks for children’s back to school days.

Holiday coat drives, back-to-school bus stuffing, and food pantry donations regularly meet needs and fill gaps that exist regularly. Once a child reaches high school graduation, though, all the memories of tough times growing up seem to fade as they are replaced by the hopes of realizing the dreams they have made ahead for them.

As those preparing for celebration learned of the tragedy in Uvalde, there is every reason to expect that some will choose to enter the medical profession, some might become teachers, others will enter law enforcement, or even consider becoming a funeral director. Others might enter a public service career, with the hopes of filling the gaps of missing future committed public servants that the children in Uvalde and their teachers no longer have the capacity to become.

As long as we don’t forget the names of those who were lost this week, they remain alive in our hearts and minds forever. Let us always hold these children and educators close in our hearts as our country prepares to remember on Monday those brave men and women who gave their lives in service to our country. God bless the United States.

A New Look at Mother’s Day

Sun, 08 May 2022 04:00:00 GMT

For most of my adult life I’ve remembered Mother’s Day with gratitude for the gifts that my mother, Lorene Jones, has always shown in raising me. I’m her only child, so I am a1so her favorite. Yet, I don’t take that spot for granted. This year I see mothers through different eyes, this time as a father.

My mother was my first best friend, and I learned to respect women who worked and raised their children at the same time—not an easy job.

Over the years on Mother’s Day, I’ve expressed my love and admiration for my Mother; cards, flowers, and other traditional gifts. In recent years, I’ve remembered to give her my greatest respect. She made it all look easy. I cannot recall a time when she ever complained because of her “workload.”

This Mother’s Day 2022, I have yet another perspective about what it’s like to be a Mom, with a front row seat, 24/7. I’ve seen Chelsea give birth to, nurture, and begin to raise our son, bringing me along with her each step of the way, sharing the things that I could do as a full co-parent for our son, Rowen.

She manages to make it look effortless, but it’s not. If we go anywhere, it means planning for the next five hours of our lives. Rowen might need: diapers, extra clothing, baby wipes, baby bibs, formula, and countless other things. It rivals a skilled military operation to transport precious cargo from point A to point B, keep cargo entertained, or asleep, and then be prepared to have it all change on a moment’s notice.

I’m honored that Chelsea is Rowen’s Mom and that I had a wonderful Mom growing up to see how parenting should be done. As our little man grows day by day, Chelsea becomes more beautiful in my eyes.

A few of the things Chelsea does as a Mom that really impress me:

These are characteristics of all of you mothers out there, including my own, Lorene Jones, who make it a very special pleasure to say thank you for all that you do for those you love, whether they were born to you, adopted by you, or simply found in the world around with the knowledge that you could make a difference in their lives.

Happy Mother’s Day to you all!

Cody D. Jones ‘02, Owner & Community Member

Easter Offers a Chance for Renewal

Sat, 16 Apr 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Often in our worship lives we find ourselves drifting away from regular weekly worship. For adults, weekends are often used for out-of-town travel or home improvement projects that consume the full time off. There are times as adults we have to schedule time for church in our busy lives.

For years we have said the same words each week in worship. We sing a fixed number of songs, we read the same scriptures in The Bible and the creeds we may recite, depending on our faith, bring us together to give thanks to God for all of our blessings.

Easter reminds us that there is life after death, a place beyond this one, and the absence of sorrow, sickness, or loss. There is the promise of reunion with loved ones, perfect health for a perfect “body” or whatever form our spirits transfer to. Our essence goes with us, all because as Christians we believe that Jesus died for our sins and rejoined his father in Heaven at the end of his earthly life, having fulfilled his mission here.

Worshiping together, we also know that we are not alone in this week or any other week when we come together to give God thanks for our many blessings. As young adults with growing families, going to church can be even more of a challenge to get up early, fix breakfast, and have yourself ready and the children ready and pack the car with all the baby items needed to be away from the house for a few hours.

On Easter, church members, as they often do at Christmas, will attend worship this week over any other. Spring renewal brings with it a promise that each year we get a “do-over” in terms of how we live and treat others in our lives.

“Easter is coming! Easter is coming!” When a child says that, often they’re thinking about the arrival of the Easter bunny and the rituals of Holy Week at church that mean special activities and services at church for their family. Hymns are sung, bell choirs ring, as palm fronds and Easter lilies fill our senses with joy.

A child’s enthusiasm and anticipation is infectious; you can’t help but absorb their joy about the coming of Easter. They know parents will spend extra time on a bow tie for a little fellow, or special dress, socks and shoes for a little girl.

Adults embrace Easter as our promise of everlasting life in Heaven, where we will all be together again. Anyone who has lost a loved one clings to this tenet of their faith. For those who were not brought up in a particular religion, Easter can still mean a nice family gathering.

It’s especially hard to say goodbye when death happens if we think we will never again see those we loved while here on Earth. Those who rely on Christian faith are offered comfort and reassurance that God gave his only son, the life of the child he loved so much, to atone for the sins of our generations so that we might all be together again in Heaven.

The Ten Commandments, our moral code, might be perceived as another ancient relic. Yet, it’s a living faith system. Faith is hard when you must have tangible proof of your belief system. Yet, children believe in things sight unseen, a big distinction.

A child who trusts the words of adults about life, goodness and faith, prove they can trust in the promises of God, whether in Sunday School or later. They will, eventually, learn these facts for themselves. And the role of chocolate candy, Easter eggs, and a giant bunny that hides the eggs will give way to faith, hope, and love as our children grow and mature. In the meantime, Chelsea and I are getting Rowen ready for his first Easter experience, complete with church and (possibly) candy. From our family to yours, we wish you a very blessed Easter.

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

The Power of “Thank You”

Tue, 05 Apr 2022 04:00:00 GMT

One of the best parts of the day is receiving the morning mail. In addition to all the business correspondence we anticipate, it is always so good to see correspondence from the families that we serve. When I read their notes, it is a great feeling to know that we accomplished our goal of serving our families when they acknowledge and single out our team members for their special talents.

There’s something special about receiving a handwritten note. It’s thoughtfulness, planning ahead, and taking time to acknowledge the acts of others in writing that produces a universal feeling of goodwill. We’re taught as youngsters to send thank-you notes to people who have done something special, like sent us a birthday gift.

When we are young, our parents help us with the words to express appreciation, or else the notes would be, “Dear Grandma, thank you for my toy. Love, Cody. Even when you’re five years old, it seems like it takes an hour to write that sentence, but the process of passing on a family tradition lasts forever.

The ritual of printing (as kids), then handwriting, our early notes starts us off on a lifetime of sharing heartfelt thanks for special moments and times shared with others. Some keep up that practice through adulthood. Others forget or just stop caring to send notes, I’ve noticed over the years. This of course makes us cherish the notes we receive even more as we consider the extra effort in bringing something special someone’s way

Through the years I’ve found that notes of encouragement last far beyond the date they are received. If you’re having a difficult day, opening one envelope that says “You were there for us” or “you treated us just like family” can turn your world around.

How often do you write notes? People remember who said, “thank you,” because often you might be the only one, of a large group, who does that. Time is, after, the most precious gift we can give another person.

When I was young, we did not have those preprinted cards where it was already written “Dear ________,” Thank you for the –––––––––––– for my birthday! I really appreciate your thinking of me as I turn ___ years old! Love, _________

There’s not exactly a lot of sentiment in that kind of preprinted card, to be sure, but the bottom line is that it’s a start, at least. The very least. No, I didn’t get to take advantage of that kind of card. My Mom still helped me with the first round of notes I was strongly encouraged to write. As I grew up, she might ask me if I’d written my notes yet, and sometimes I would have done it already. Other times I needed a reminder.

As I became an adult, I actually enjoyed writing personal notes to people who had done something special in my behalf. The reaction I received was so great to doing what is just naturally considered the polite thing to do. I guess a lot of people had gotten out of the habit of writing notes so the generation who was saying thank you was so shocked that people still wrote them anymore.

I was discussing this topic the other day with a colleague who noted that the Dear Annie column in The Eagle had featured this subject twice in the last few months. In both cases it was grandparents writing in to complain that for at least five years, in each case, they had been mailing Christmas and birthday presents to out-of-town grandchildren whom they rarely get to see in person. Not one grandchild (or their parents) had taken the opportunity to send one single thank-you. Their question to “Annie” was: “Should we keep sending presents?” Clearly the answer was: “NO.” What’s the point of anticipating a child’s glee at receiving something you spent time on thinking up something nice they might like, wrapping and mailing it, and then you hear…nothing.

Today, as adults, we tend to value time more importantly than we do when we are younger and think we have infinite years ahead of us and one of these days someone who helped you accomplish a goal might not be here any longer to say thanks to, so we sit down and compose a heartfelt note, even if it is just two or three lines, to say “Thank you.”

In business we depend on customers, vendors, and our relationships with both. We appreciate when someone can help us meet a deadline or project goal because what they did is integral to our success. Catching people “Doing things right” is a wonderful way to express appreciation in front of other coworkers so that the team member(s) who achieve important things can be appreciated by everyone.

Think about it. If you were one of the thousands of people at a recent OPAS event or at ChiliFest, you heard thunderous applause in both cases, with the audience expressing appreciation for the art they heard and saw. In reality, most of the crowds at ChiliFest were on their feet the whole time, but a standing ovation at OPAS conveys the greatest appreciation to the artists. They feel thanked when you stand up for them.

And, yet, in a typical office setting you simply don’t get a standing ovation for doing your job well. It’s expected. But, if you boss takes the time to write you a card and express that they noticed and appreciated what you did, it means the world. Hallmark has created a multimedia business over the years in the USA and in Canada, simply by saying “Thank you,” “I appreciate you,” “You’re my favorite coworker,” and “Good luck to you in your next job.”

After some research, I learned that the very first notes were written around the year 1400, by the Chinese and the Egyptians , both of whom wrote notes of friendship and good luck on papyrus. The Europeans extended the practice to an artform in sending “social notes” (or early greeting cards) that a servant would hand-deliver to the home of the persons receiving them. In 1775, our first Postmaster General was Benjamin Franklin, and in the 1850s the United States was introduced to greeting cards and thank-you notes.

The gentleman credited with introducing greeting cards and thank-you notes in America in 1856 was Louis Prang . Although a gentleman named John Calcott Horsley was first to “design a holiday card that Sir Henry Cole could send to his friends,” it is Boston resident Louis Prang “who made the first commercially printed holiday greeting cards.” Today we take these inventions for granted.

When you think of it, for 247 years, the postal service has been delivering our communications. Beyond the words on the paper, we have the handwriting of our ancestors to read, and reread, and cherish that are preserved by generations for people to see how the handwriting of their great-grandmother or great-grandfather was (often) so much better than ours is present day. Computer keyboards take time away from practicing handwriting skills; schoolteachers recognize that now more than ever and often handwriting is still taught and practiced in schools.

The next time someone does something extraordinary, for you or for others, consider taking a few minutes and don’t text them, don’t e-mail them, and actually sit down and write them a note. It might change their mood that day from sad to happy, and you’ll feel better too as you pass out joy along your day. Thank you so much for all the notes you send to me and to our team. We value our relationship with you.

Women’s History Month Reminds Us to Say Thank You

Sun, 27 Mar 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Celebrating National Women’s History Month in March is now in its 35 ^th year. Congress set aside the month each year, after several years of having a National Women’s History Week, established by President Jimmy Carter. Children’s classrooms became a place and opportunity to learn even more about the contributions women have made through the years to improving our world.

From my youth, I’ve been very aware of seeing women as integral to the success of families, and especially in business. Reflecting over the past century, funeral businesses, as far back when they were called undertakers, were husbands and wives, working together, and living upstairs over the first floor where they operated their family funeral parlors, as they were once known.

For many generations in my own family, my mother Lorene, my grandmother Dian, and beyond, were full partners in operating our business. When we built our new funeral home here at our original location, Chelsea and I worked equally on the design, exterior and interior, and together we made key choices. A strong, positive feminine voice contributes substantially and importantly to any project.

The funeral profession has long been respected for all the women who have made this business their career choice. Beyond this business, we have many local women who lead by example. For years St. Joseph Hospital was led by Sister Gretchen Kunz; ANCO Insurance was led by Kathy Gregory as President/CEO until her retirement. Recently, Nora Thompson was named CEO of First Financial Bank here, and Dr. M. Katharine Banks was named President of Texas A&M University. Just this week, Joni Taylor, formerly of Georgia was named Coach of the TAMU Women’s Basketball team!

Women as today’s leaders are not new, but there are so many lessons we can learn about the women who made history here in Bryan-College Station and in Texas in the past 50 years.

Today, we almost take it for granted that we can go to Downtown Bryan for entertainment, shopping, lodging for our out-of-town guests, and some very good food. It’s hard to remember that the last time Downtown was so busy was in the early 1970s, right before the area gave way to the popularity of Post Oak Mall in College Station as the center of shopping and activities.

History doesn’t have to be hundreds of years old to be important and relevant. Just 30 years ago, history was made in Downtown Bryan.

It was about 1990 when 4 ^th generation Bryan resident Kay Conlee made it her mission to bring Downtown Bryan out of its state of dormancy into the active site of tremendous mercantile activity that it is today. She started by purchasing and renovating the old Central Texas Hardware Building, located at 202 S. Bryan. Meticulously she renovated the building and opened Old Bryan Marketplace on the right-hand side of the building and donated the use of the left-hand side of the building to the Children’s Museum of the Brazos Valley for six years until they could move into the old Bryan Police Station building. It was in 2000 that the inaugural Mayor’s Downtown Impact Award was created and presented to Kay Conlee.

The year 1990 was the year that Kass Prince, then Executive Director of the Arts Council of the Brazos Valley secured the commitment of Charmen Catlin and Louis Newman to create the first FestiFall ’90, a two-day celebration of the arts. Over 200 volunteers joined onto the organization that Catlin and Newman created and over 5,000 residents came together October 4-5, 1990, and for the next seven years, in celebration of the arts here.

The late arts patron Rose VanArsdel is the one who is responsible for establishing the strings instruction program at Bryan High School. A lifelong devotee of the piano and an accomplished musician herself, Rose was the one who saw a need for teaching local students violins and set about to raise the funds to staff and outfit the program. In addition to her own financial contributions, she wrote numerous successful funding grants and enlisted additional support of several good friends in town.

Keeping in mind that Bryan, Texas was not always the large metroplex it is today, it was in 1951 that beloved volunteer and talented dance Jane Lee opened the Jane Lee School of Dance. She taught ballet, tap, toe, and jazz dance for 40 years, so at least 3 generations of Bryan women benefited from her gifts and skills. After her retirement, she inspired and maintained such great enthusiasm for the Gift Shop at the old Crestview Retirement Home that when Crestview built its Arbor Oaks permanent residence, they named the gift shop in her honor.

Mell Pruitt (and her husband Willie) had a dream of creating an African American Museum here in the Brazos Valley . Starting with a core group of volunteers from the Bethune Women’s Club in Bryan, every year they grew closer and closer to the dream. Community residents joined together at Mell’s request to secure funding for this beautiful museum and portal of Brazos Valley history.

Were it not for civic leader Gardner Osborn and her championing of a cause dear to her heart, the Brazos Prenatal Clinic, there would be at least 20,750 women to have prenatal services, health education, etc. since the Clinic’s funding in 1985. Every year 12 women are honored in our community at the “You’re the Tops” luncheon, that “celebrates women who make a difference.”

This year the luncheon is set for April 23 at the Hilton, and all proceeds benefit the Brazos Prenatal Clinic . Civic philanthropists and community leaders being honored include Jennifer Cotton, Kim DuBose, Virginia Fox, Sallye Henderson, Dr. Esther Miranda, Julie Porter, Vicki Reim, Rev. Shelby Rowan, Cindi Scofield, Dr. Amy Thompson, and Searcy Tolliver.

Going way back, in 1921, Lee and Frances Rountree purchased “ The Eagle .” When Mr. Rountree was elected State Representative so Mrs. Rountree ran the paper. Two years later, Mr. Rountree suffered a stroke and died, and Mrs. Rountree was elected to fill out his term, was re-elected for one more term, and was eventually defeated. Her leadership of “The Eagle” was considered unparalleled for many years.

As we wind down the month recognized and celebrated as National Women’s History Month, it’s only appropriate to look around the wonderful community we live in, learn a bit more about the people who make our lives special every day because of the things they took up as important, whether 50, 40, 30, 20, or even 10 years ago. We could not be the people we are today without the commitment and talents of so many women here.

Speaking personally, my special thanks and respect are extended to the women whose photo you see pictured here. They are an integral part of the Callaway-Jones family team. They serve our community and our family by giving their very best to what we do daily.

In addition to celebrating and saluting the women in our lives this year, let us remember to say “thanks” to women we know whose priorities included making things better for all of us here. May your light continue to shine for generations to come.

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

Daylight Savings Time — The Value of One More Hour

Sun, 13 Mar 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Today marks the annual transition back to a favorite time of year—Daylight Savings Time! Extended daylight for a full extra hour every day until November! Many of you say, “Losing an hour of sleep is never a bonus.” I understand. As an early morning person, I don’t cherish waking up to a pitch dark sky, but there’s so many activities where it’s safer for children to play in and daylight to run errands.

I just look at it as having an “extra” hour in my day to do with as I please. As long as I see sunshine, my day isn’t over. Have you ever said to yourself: “If I had just one more with hour with (my loved one), what I wouldn’t give? We don’t need to live in a fatalistic attitude but it’s an entirely new way of appreciating the gift of time we all have to view daylight as a time to see and be seen, to be acknowledged as vital, here and now. It might not be here tomorrow.

When we call our family and friends, it’s great, but when we take the time to be with them in person, whether just dropping by for a quick visit, or planning to pick them up and drive for an outing, maybe lunch downtown at the Village Cafe, these small gifts of 60-minute packets are something you can give your loved one every day. It might mean batting practice with your son, taking your daughter to dance classes and staying to watch her—all before “the end of the day.”

So, this morning when you woke up, had you remembered to set your clocks forward an hour? Was your first thought? Oh gosh, I’ve already lost an hour this morning? It’s almost noon (even if it’s 8:00 am). I’m already behind today! Was that your reaction?

Or, did you start looking at your phone and computer to see if it was “really” that time Had you remembered to set “every” clock in the house? Your microwave? Your car? Those are about the only two clocks in the house, except your wrist watches (with the exception of Apple iWatches and Samsung watches) that don’t require manual updating. It’s a good thing to have some of those, though, because you find yourself questioning whether or not your systems changed the time properly.

If you are a very early riser, you don’t see the sun when you wake up on a “regular time” schedule anyway, but if you have a more “relaxed” schedule, you take notice of it being dark upon your more leisurely awakening. Instinctively you start yawning as you focus on that hour of sleep you just lost, right?

And the additional effect of that extra hour of sleep you lose will be soon forgotten as your body clock catches up with you. I frequently hear people say, “I don’t care what they do, as long as they stop changing it all the time. I wish they’d just keep it at one time and stay there.” We’ve come close to preserving DST year-round in the past, but so far it has not changed permanently. The short days of winter are still too attractive to us.

Seasonal Allergic Disorder (SAD) is a genuine medical condition, particularly in colder months or on gloomy, rainy, overcast days, the lack of sunlight, or when we can get out in it. Daylight cures a bad attitude. Vitamin D can be absorbed through the skin via sunshine exposure. Long car trips don’t seem so long or tedious when you have another hour of sunlight to drive in. Face it, most of us are happier when the sun is out!

Picnics can last longer. Work on your favorite car with an extra hour of daylight. Get in a full round of golf after work (a favorite!). Walk to the park and back in daylight; do your evening run without tripping on a sidewalk you can’t see, potentially overlooking animals crossing streets while driving, and noting reptiles crossing sidewalks on your path. You definitely want to be able to see those!

During Daylight Savings Time, seniors (whose eyesight is better by day than night) appreciate rides in the car with you, dropping by and sharing your day. Time we spend with people we love is a precious gift.

Somehow when we think of an hour of sleep we lost, we focus on loss. But, what if it gives us an extra hour to spend with someone we love in the daylight, where we can see them clearly? Older people prefer to be outside the home during the daytime. Instinctively the nighttime brings the sense that day is done, work is over, and it’s time to retire for the evening.

We tend to associate age with going to sleep early, calling it a day sooner than young people do, and a time to shut down a lot of our activities. Unless you’re a real night owl, this is you. On the other hand, if you’re an early bird, it is a major change for that first hour you’re awake. But you can use that hour to be productive indoors, and if you work from home, you don’t have to drive anywhere in the dark (yet), so that’s another win.

What will you do with your extra hour of sunlight for the next eight months? Is it an extra hour to be with that person you care most about? Are you going to start that novel you always hoped to write? Are you going to change your exercise regimen and start at the beginning of the day rather than the end? Either way, the morning is still yours to control, order as you like, and start your achievements of the day sooner. Enjoy the extra sunlight as long as you have it, and until they stop flipping it back in the fall, you can go back to “the way things were” for at least four months. It’s all in the attitude. Happy Spring Break week to those who are celebrating! And don’t forget to change your microwave, clock radios (if you still have those), and the clock in your car!

And if you are undecided about how important it is to consider every hour precious, here’s a good reminder. That “one more hour, one more day” you take to catch your child’s baseball game, to be in the front row of your daughter’s dance recital, or to guess the puzzles on “Wheel of Fortune” as you watch TV with your Mom—will mean the world to you in years to come.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xi8O7JdA4Sg “One More Day” (performed by Diamond Rio)

Welcome Daylight Savings Time!

Cody D. Jones ’02 and Chelsea Jones ‘11

Owners/Community Members

Memories of Black History Month 2022 in the Brazos Valley

Sun, 27 Feb 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Each February, in celebration of Black History month, Brazos Valley residents have the opportunity to meet, know, and learn about many of our residents who were instrumental in African American community historic preservation. In 1999, area residents Mr. and Mrs. Willie (Mell) Pruitt had the idea for an African American Heritage Museum. The photo below is courtesy of the BVAAM from a prior gathering.

Mr. and Mrs. Pruitt were beloved educators of many years here. Mrs. Pruitt preceded her husband in death in 2009, and Mr. Pruitt, a former Asst. Principal at Bryan High, died earlier this week on February 21 ^st .

On July 22, 2006, the Museum’s doors opened to the public, thanks to the generous donations from across our community—individuals, churches, and civic leaders. Today, the Museum is built on the original site of the first school for people of color in the Brazos Valley, founded in 1886, which later burned. In 1930, the school was reopened as Washington Elementary School and stood until, again, a fire burned it down. The school’s final principal while standing was O. W. Sadberry, Sr.

Coincidentally, that same evening as Mr. Pruitt passed, Bryan ISD Trustees revealed that the third Bryan ISD Intermediate School under construction will be named in honor of educator O. W. Sadberry, Sr. Most fitting, this naming opportunity for his father was the dream of longtime area educator and civic leader, Oliver Wayne Sadberry, Jr. The new Maintenance and Transportation facility will also be named in honor of the late BISD driver, Ms. Ruby Halliburton .

The unanimous decision was announced just 47 days after Wayne’s passing, at the age of 78. Poignantly the announcement would come just a few short days after we held his Life Celebration and Home Going in our Funeral Center last month.

Completing the circle, last night, on February 26, the Annual Appreciation Banquet was held at the Brazos Valley African American Museum, and the historian’s torch passed forward onto O.W.’s great-granddaughter, BISD student Miss Jaden Eleiz Twitty, as she spoke on the occasion of the family. In her remarks she noted the impact that her grand-father and great-grand-father had made in the Brazos Valley, as educators, historians, role models and encouragers, which are individuals that younger people need most. Miss Twitty noted that it’s important for younger persons her age take an interest in who their family members are, where they came from geographically and personally, and only by learning their stories can this generation relate to what it was like “back then.” Dr. Albert Broussard, a close friend of Wayne Sadberry’s through the years, also spoke about his excellent contributions to the Brazos Valley African American Museum.

The full program from Saturday’s Fund-Raising Event is shown next. Reviewing the list of organizers and participants, you’ll see the neighbors and friends who volunteered their time to make this appreciation event happen, even with the recent passing of two local icons.

Among the many elements of preserving history, the oral interview is one of the most important. Really, it’s the only way we have to keep track of our history as a community are in the words and photographs of those who will take the time to curate the collection with their stories throughout the generations. At Texas Christian University, there is a “Portal to Texas History” that includes an Oral History Interview with Wayne Sadberry , July 8, 2015.

Many resources now exist, including one by Asst. Professor Andrea Roberts of the College of Architecture’s Urban Planning Department. Known as the Texas Freedom Colonies Project, the goal is to “help African-American Texans reclaim their unrecognized and unrecorded heritage. The mission of the project is two-fold: to help African-American Texans reclaim their unrecognized and unrecorded heritage and empower city planners to plan and preserve communities with unprecedented knowledge about the freedom colonies.” See more about it here , including a photo of Wayne Sadberry with Prof. Roberts.

Did you know that as part of the City of Bryan’s 150th anniversary, an oral history project was created? It’s called “ Voices Past and Present ” and it contains interviews with longtime Bryan residents about “how things were here as they were growing up.” Within this compilation you will find historic jewels from our longtime city members. Take one for example: “In 2012, Dr. Oswell Person, a leader in the field of higher education and E. A. Kemp Junior-Senior High School alumnus, spoke with Carnegie History Center oral historian Anne Preston about education in Bryan during segregation. Dr. Person is the author of two books on the African American experience in Bryan, Moving Forward from Behind: Life and Times of African-Americans in Bryan, Texas from 1885 to 1971 , and African American Bryan, Texas: Celebrating the Past . ”

And another question: did you know that KORA radio once broadcast from the Varisco building downtown? Or that a tornado blew through town in 1956 and destroyed The Finfeather Club? Local attorney Roland Searcy reflects on that topic. And the words of Sunny Nash, who would grow up to be an international journalist, photographer, and author, she described segregation as she was growing up and trying to access books to read in the library, as her cousin Margaret had already read all of the ones in the bookmobile. A group of three young ladies waited on the steps outside as Margaret had gone in to see about reading in the Carnegie Library. When she came out with a stack full of books in her arms that she had checked out, they all learned that day there was no segregation at least in the Carnegie Library, an exciting revelation and one long awaited.

We learn best from telling our stories. The history comes to life when we record our voices and provide an even greater layer and dimension to what we know, saw, did, and how we felt. It becomes, as Nash said, “a matter of taking every opportunity to improve something every chance you get,” a lesson she learned from her mother.

As we exit the month of February then, let’s all focus on telling our stories, of preserving history for future generations to have reliable, accurate information to pass on to future generations.

We Have Valentines on our Minds! How About You?

Mon, 14 Feb 2022 05:00:00 GMT

As Valentine’s Day rolls around this year, Chelsea and I want to say, “Thank you” and “We Care” to all of you on our staff who are close to us in our hearts. In a day and time when we’ve all been “beyond busy” in our professional lives, in-house there’s a group of people who deserve extra recognition and this is the appropriate time to do it.

Fortunately, holidays force us to take the time to think about who we want to lift up and say “Thank you” to for all the ways in which our team members encourage our local heroes for being all they can be. Our police, fire, and emergency services personnel daily save our lives, and have our heartfelt regards for doing so. That they are “there” to help, assist, and protect us from harm means so much.

Valentine’s Day doesn’t just mean a chocolate-coated card and some treats (although there’s nothing wrong with chocolate!). It’s a time to say thank-you to the angels (Chelsea suggested “Cody’s Angels”) working in both of our locations to serve our families. These full-time angels include Patti Wade, Receptionist & Family Service Professional, Jean Scott, Office Manager, Amber Mastrobattista, Graphic Designer, Charlene Rathjen, Accounting, and Jessica Starr, Advance Planning Specialist. Of course, we have other part-time angels.

Now, in our home, as Rowen, Bowtie Bogey, and I would all agree, Chelsea is our favorite angel, who makes every day so special for the Jones family. Days pass by so quickly right now, it’s rare to get a few minutes to plan ahead for celebrating.

Did you know that over 180 Million Valentine’s Day cards are exchanged every year? Web site Detechter.com notes that of those, 85% of those cards are purchased by women while men buy 73% of all flowers! What will you be doing for your Valentines this year? From our home to yours, Happy Valentines Day!

Cody D. Jones ’02 and Chelsea Jones ‘11

Owners & Community Members

What Do You Consider an Heirloom?

Sat, 29 Jan 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Often when our parents decide to downsize and pack up a four-bedroom house into a lovely two-bedroom apartment in an active adult senior living community, it comes up more than once what they want to do in passing along items of sentimental value to another generation.

That’s a solid and important tradition when your parents are alive, but what happens if it falls to you to clear out a residence or apartment after a death, and you have no idea what is a family heirloom and what is something that just caught their eye? In our haste to vacate an apartment we can very quickly lose patience with exploring what might be in various bureau drawers or curio cabinets.

Sometimes we throw everything in boxes and either take them home with us, ship them home, or donate them to a local nonprofit thrift store. An heirloom is only as valuable as the sentiment behind it. How well are you familiar with the heirlooms in your family?

It could be there’s a small 50-year service pin in a bureau drawer. Did your dad wear that every day of his work career for a single company? Who would he want to have that? What about the last cell phone he used (which ages faster than any car on the road)? Keep or trade it in on another model?

Some of us are sentimentalists, others are just packrats at heart, but we are who we are. Small items can hold precious memories in our hearts that never go away. Did your mom carried a handkerchief in her purse each week, or did she have a favorite pin she wore on suits? You’d be surprised who might love to have that pin. Some moms collect things, like angels or teacups or sets of china. Do you know what is most precious to your parents? Have they told you what they would like to have happen to them eventually?

Have you and your family (assuming that you are an adult child not living at home and perhaps maybe living out of town) had “that” discussion yet with your seniors that talks about what furniture, clothing, or mementoes might be of special significance and definitely worth saving?

Now, this is not a topic that is very easy to bring up after you reach a certain point in life when you are not living at home anymore. However, it’s not uncommon at all for a parent to say, “I remember that Aunt Flo gave me that dining set when I got married so I would have a dining table and a hutch. When we don’t need it anymore, maybe one of her kids might like to have it, unless one of you would.” That’s the perfect opening for you to begin a conversation about things you do and don’t have a special or sentimental attachment to.

Frequently one family member might be especially close to a certain grandparent or a maiden aunt who lived with you all as you grew up and you remember seeing a certain picture in a frame of all the family together that brings back happy childhood memories for you. One distant cousin became a CPA just like her maiden aunt. Neither woman married and so the aunt left all her precious antiques to that cousin, because they were like one another’s parent-child, rather than aunt-niece, so she wanted her to have them. Makes sense.

It’s rarely about stocks, bonds, monies, or property where family disagreements begin as much as it can be a certain wristwatch, photograph, piece of furniture, or other object that an adult grows up seeing every day and associates that item with the person they lost. Sets of good china, linens and tablecloths handmade by your great, great grandmother can turn into true wrestling matches of contention if plans are not made ahead of time.

Although you might laugh at how it sounds, it never hurts to write down in a notebook what you would like to see happen to your furniture after you die. Rarely do people want to buy homes that are 100% furnished, as is. On the other hand, it does happen. It doesn’t have to be an unpleasant experience, particularly if the adult generation takes a forthright approach and brings up the subject.

If you happen to watch “The Gilmore Girls,” Chelsea reminded me of an episode where “Emily Gilmore” handed her daughter and granddaughter a pen and sticky pad each and asked them to tag things throughout the family mansion that they might want in particular. The situation was hilarious because the “girls” had no warning the discussion was coming and the parents refused to serve dinner until they’d gone through the house and marked what they wanted. It doesn’t have to be contentious. On the other hand, you shouldn’t spring it on your loved ones, either.

How it does create hard feelings though is when that generation passes away with absolutely no guidance or direction then it becomes a free-for-all if there are no clear-cut instructions in the will left behind.

Something this contentious, though, could create a rift that could last 20 years and cause unnecessary separations between family members who really belong together and should want to be around one another “for the sake of family.” Plus, no matter your opinion before there is a family passing, no one thing, whether furniture, property, or other tangible property would mean a thing compared to having your loved one here with you. So, don’t let “things” get in the way of your pride.

Encourage your fellow family members to wise up and focus on getting along with one another. Often, the youngest family member will find themselves the ones who miss the deceased most of all because they had the least amount of time with them. That’s another factor to keep in mind. Also, there are always family members who want nothing to remember their relatives by.

Even if they say they want no part of inheritance, it’s wise to get them to sign a document to that effect in case something changes in the future, e.g., you all strike oil on a piece of property where drilling had been ongoing for years. Say you strike oil five years later. Now how interested are you in benefiting from your “share” of what would be an equitable split of the proceeds had you not signed them back to the family? Short-term decisions made in haste can have long-term consequences.

However, this happens often. Say there is one family member who assumes primary responsibility for caregiving for a parent or surviving relative because they either live locally or choose to do so, and the other family lives hundreds of miles away, it could be the family comes together and suggests a larger portion be awarded to the one who did the primary caregiving and again it might not happen that way at all. So many possibilities and situations exist among family members.

To preserve solid family harmony after passing of earlier generations, especially when you have another 40 or less years ahead of you, the truth is always the path to take and planning ahead is always the correct idea.

Best wishes,

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

Talking with Loved Ones about Their Future Wishes

Sun, 16 Jan 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Is it time for you and your parents, or for you and your children to have “the talk?” You know, the one where you talk about plans for how things should be if one of you passes away this year. It’s just not one-sided anymore, expecting the older members of a family to pass away before younger ones do.

In just these first weeks of 2022 alone, we learned of 99-year-old actress Betty White passing away, but so did 65-year-old entertainer Bob Saget. We lost 94-year-old actor Sidney Poitier and 29-year-old actress Kim Mi-Soo as well. Big Daddy Weave bassist Jay Weaver died at age 42 and director Peter Bogdanovich died at age 82.

No longer is there “that age” at which people are expected to die of natural causes. Yes, COVID has impacted the passing of loved ones, but so have undiagnosed heart conditions been discovered after the fact. So, the “right age” to start thinking about future end-of-life plans is now.

For a long time, there was a fear or stigma that, if you started making plans, you thought you were dying or you might die sooner. Those of us who have spent a lifetime in the funeral business know the facts. The simple truth is the only thing accomplished by your planning ahead is that you leave less chaos and trauma behind for whomever is left to make decisions in your behalf.

Whatever you might have wanted, had in mind and were sure you would have time to get spelled out, dies with you, if there is no plan in place. A second fear is that you have to pay for everything up front in full. In today’s economy that’s just not the case. We are aware of how expensive things are, though, and there is benefit to cost-savings by planning early.

Before you reach out to us, there are decisions you will want to make before you leave home for your appointment. Burial or Cremation? Which do you prefer? In some families, burial is done on a generational family basis wherein some senior member of the family has purchased a large number of plots for multiple generations. This was a practice that was very popular 30 years ago, and actually if you’d done that 30 years ago, you could have saved a small fortune today.

But the way families tend to scatter, present-day, it often makes more sense for different generations to be buried in the cities and states where they lived the longest as their primary home base.

The “next generation” similarly has transitioned to a husband and wife deciding which of many family plots available to them they would like to use. Say that their mother and father each have plots set aside “for the whole family” and you are, upon marriage, inserted into the question of “his” or “hers”?

I’ve heard a wife say, “Well, if you want to be buried on the family ranch, that’s fine with me, but I’m going to be buried in the columbarium my family built for us.” “But what about our children; what will they think?” She responded, “They can visit us in two places just as easily as one.”

Clearly, they hadn’t discussed this topic before they came to us and it turned into a vigorous “conversation” where they finally came up with “Plan C,” which meant they bought adjoining plots at the Aggie Field of Honor and started their own traditions. This is just one example of the many decisions that go into preplanning.

At the other end of the spectrum, what happens if your senior citizen doesn’t want to discuss end-of-life plans with you, their own adult child? This happens more frequently than you’d think. Many times, seniors are convinced that once they select a final resting place, they’re going to arrive there faster than they would if they hadn’t thought about it.

The older we get, the more we realize that our days on Earth are finite. And frankly we’d rather think about anything but our “last” days. However, you can’t beat the feeling of relief that comes from having actually taken charge of your final decisions so that others don’t have to.

If your senior refuses to talk about where they want to be buried, a neutral way to enter the discussion of final resting places is to work on family genealogy together with several senior family members. Part of every family tree includes place of burial, cemetery name, city, and state.

Taking a look through an old photo album with your children, and your loved seniors nearby is a great way to get them to reminisce about their childhood days, the addresses of houses they grew up in, where their grandparents are buried, etc. During your genealogy information gathering sessions you might hear your seniors “true wishes” come through in discussions. If they don’t bring up their preferences, you and your spouse can bring your own decisions up to share, which may prompt them to share their own opinions.

They might mention “I want to be buried not cremated.” Or they will say, “I want to be cremated and my ashes scattered on the family pond.” This is a great way to simply begin the discussion of the family history, which is a good time to reminisce and to have your children hear about the family members they never met or will get to meet in some cases. Or they may ask you questions about your decisions and during that discussion, they may say, “We were hoping you would want to be buried with us.”

That’s a preference that you might not hear otherwise, at least for many years. It’s of benefit to all of you as it is an opportunity to preserve family history by video or audio recording these family history sessions. Fifty and seventy-five years from now, future generations will thank you.

For your own information, there’s always our no-obligation pre-talk seminar or discussion. We are here to help you work your way through the pathways and decisions that you’ll need to make in the first stages of your planning for the final days of your life.

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

Tying Up Loose Ends and Looking Ahead to 2022

Sun, 02 Jan 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Now that we’ve closed the books on 2021, everything that was going to happen last year has happened. There’s no going back, no do-overs, and no filling in something you’d planned to do but didn’t have time. Those are the facts.

How many of you sent out holiday cards this year, only to have one or more of them returned? Sometimes, of course, there’s a slight mistake in the address. Yet, in others it’s because someone has died in the past year, and we had not heard of it.

It’s strange to learn of a death, months later, one no one informed us about, particularly when it’s distant family or someone “like family” that someone should have known we’d want to hear. This is an issue that faces everyone whose loved one passes away unexpectedly.

Placing a loved one’s name in an obituary in the newspaper is something we find more challenging for some on a tight budget. We feature all obituaries on our CallawayJones.com website at no cost, but unless someone shares that link on Facebook, or you check our site daily, you won’t know.

We live on tight schedules with deadlines, expected to do more, we’re less likely to run into mutual friends who might share important news. When was the last time your phone actually rang vs. your receiving a text message from someone trying to reach you? Important, meaningful conversations and personal visits have decreased, especially during the holidays.

Chelsea and I were surprised to learn a mutual friend had died a year ago, and no one told us. He was an old friend that we saw once a year, usually at a football game, but this year we didn’t, and no one said a word.

Our relationships with friends and extended family are among the most prized things we have while we’re alive.

In the course of planning for our own futures, we may decide to have a private gathering for ourselves or a loved one. There are a number of reasons for this decision, but one thing to consider is how it is that those who are grieving need a chance to heal.

One of the most important ceremonies, so to speak, that can occur is a period of visitation, to gather together and remember the loved one who passed. In these periods together hearts begin to heal. Saying out loud that we are hurting, that we love and miss the presence of that person in our lives means much to us in the way of progress in moving forward. It’s just not the same when we go to dinner with one other person and talk about someone who’s gone before us as it is when we see people across the room we may not have seen in several years, coworkers, old neighbors, and remember the good times shared with the person who died, and all of us doing it together.

If we can’t say “We are so sorry for your loss” to the family, it feels hollow to sit at a table in front of a “greeting card” and try and write our thoughts and put the heart and spirit we feel in our words. Words said out loud have “life” and “last,” or at least that’s the way I look at it.

Healing alone is not as easy as a process started together. There’s such a benefit from talking out loud…but when people call for a private time to celebrate a life together, when they don’t have a funeral service because they “don’t want a fuss made over them” or “don’t want to put anyone out” or “interrupt someone’s plans and spend all that money coming here,” these are reasons people often cite for not having a formal visitation or reception.

Some people don’t even want to have their obituary or death notice in the newspaper. This is a very sensitive subject, but it’s one that should be taken seriously. There are a number of reasons not to want to announce a death, but they’re not always easy to understand or explain.

Many times in families there are exchanges of cross words or business disagreements when the division of property occurs from generations before yours. Hard feelings cause the division of a family into at least two sides, if not more. Everyone lines up to take a side, often over the division of estate items and funds. Then, silence ensues as lawyers are left to suss out the property and no one gets to share memories.

Words and memories and photos are so much more important than dollars. It may take years to see, but bringing hearts together, in good times and bad, can help healing faster than anything.

When someone passes away and we don’t learn of their absence for even a year or more, it’s like being knocked back with a 2×4 to know that for however long a time you didn’t know it, someone important in your life was gone, and no one told you. Even worse is when you send a holiday card and it gets returned to you, and it’s then when you realize that they died. And no one told you either. People don’t always know who is important in one another’s lives.

If you asked five of your closest friends and coworkers who would be the five most-impacted people when you died, how many of them would actually know who is important in your life? That’s the value of having a public service, or a published death notice or online obituary, so that word can get out and around and loved ones won’t be blindsided.

You might say, well, if they were such good friends, they should have known. There’s truth to that statement and yet, reality is such that we live in a society of instant communication. And, out of sight, often, is out of mind. If we’re not in the same social group anymore, or live in the same neighborhood anymore, then we’re not as likely to be patched into the people who would tell us what has been happening that we might know about.

No matter what your opinion is of whether or not anyone would really care if you died, the truth of the matter is that it really DOES matter to many people that you are here or have left those among us. Maybe it’s uncomfortable to think about having your life honored in some way or other because you don’t think you’re out of the ordinary or special, but the truth is you are special. You do matter and you do impact people in ways you don’t even realize every day of your life.

So, before you say, “Don’t have a service. Don’t put in the paper. Don’t go to any big fuss,” just let your loved ones know that you want a “simple” celebration of life or service, for their grief, and you can allow them to encounter and decide what will bring them the greatest comfort. It’s the last kind act you can do for them.

In this New Year, we can all make a better effort to keep in touch with people in our lives, so we are not the last to know what’s going on with people we care about. Update your address book, both on computer and the handwritten kind. Mark your calendars and remember important dates. As James Taylor sings, “ Shower the people you love with love. Show them the way that you feel. ” Happy 2022 to all of you!

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

Giving The Gift of Time This Holiday Season

Sun, 19 Dec 2021 05:00:00 GMT

If you’re panicked or stressed this holiday season about what to get all the loved ones in your family, and your budget won’t carry you as far as your heart goes, don’t panic. There’s a solution right at hand and your gift will be as prized as though they cost a fortune. It’s the gift of your time.

If you are gathering at your family home of your parents, grandparents or other senior family members, be prepared to spend time reminiscing with them. Talk about Christmases past when everyone was together. Get out the photo albums and revisit the pictures together. Let the younger generation hear the stories, even if they have before. One day when some aren’t there anymore, if your history and genealogy isn’t written down, it’s gone.

Another gift we can offer involves teens putting away phones and Apple watches while visiting. It might seem obvious, but there’s nothing more hurtful to a senior than seeing a child’s face buried in a movie or a phone, when they’re old enough to h-ave a conversation and be around the adults, and they never look up to see who they’re with or why. Spending time in the kitchen or the workshop with grandparents is priceless to both groups.

Hearing your name called, Nana or Papa, is so important. Hearing the “Dings” from each response on teen phones or watches reminds the senior they’re less important than the young person responding. Teaching your children to make eye contact, to speak clearly, and slowly enough, for a good chat helps your kids remember their family.

Finally, there is never a bad time to send a thank-you note. During the holidays our kids get many gifts and yet if they are to receive they must learn to show thanks. Good habits start early. People always appreciate a hand-written note the way they do a handmade gift!

At the holiday season we have so many area seniors in our community who need a little extra help this year. Whether or not they’re your relatives, you and your family can adopt those in need this year for a very small amount. The Council of Governments sponsors a tree especially for over 300 area seniors, each of whom will receive something special this year when you adopt them (anonymously). For less or more than $10 you can make a senior smile by knowing someone cared to remember them this holiday season. In their younger days they may have given time and gifts to many who grew up and just assumed they’d be okay in their older years. It’s easy to forget the gifts of kindness when you are young and busy. It’s only as we get older that we have a moment to reflect on where those seniors and mentors are living today, how they’re doing, if they need any extra or special assistance. Often, they do, but they don’t have living relatives they can call on. That’s when the local community organizations steps up and steps in to help.

There’s a great need to help senior citizens in our area, especially those without local family members to drop in on them and check up on them and see to whatever needs they might have. Particularly in cold weather, our seniors’ skin is thin and it loses a lot of moisture. How refreshing and comforting it is to have a jar of cold cream, or a nice pump bottle of soothing, moisturizing hand cream on hand. Also, pairs of new cotton socks keep our seniors’ feet warm even if our feet aren’t cold.

Time to visit with our seniors continues to be the most precious gift. If you see photo albums in your seniors’ homes, take the opportunity to ask them to look through them with you. Just seeing pictures for the first time or the 23 ^rd time can be an adventure. Often, seeing a particular favorite picture from long ago will trigger a happy memory and even a story that you might have not have ever heard. Write those stories down, or make a voice record on your phone with your senior telling the story.

Imagine how much fun it would be to hear the voice or see the face of a person who was your great-great-great-grandmother. You might see family facial similarities that you never expected. I remember one day a friend had found a copy of a handwritten letter that their great-great-great grandfather had written about all of his sons and daughters, describing each one by name. There were such small facts about them yet no one ever knew and just that one letter unlocked so many stories. It was the beginning of conversations that lasted for months. One family member became the historian and made notes of all the stories. Small facts can become priceless.

You may have encountered a point in one of your senior’s lives where they may tell the same three or four stories over and over again. You think you know them by heart, but do you really? I thought I’d never forget some of the stories my grandmother told me but in fact, I had long forgotten some. Fortunately, my mother remembered them and now I’ve got them recorded, so that one day Rowen can hear them too. He will learn more about the family he came from and how much like his ancestors he is.

Music is one final means of connecting with seniors. When memories begin to fade and seniors get frustrated because they can’t seem to recall a fact from an hour ago, when they hear music they have loved all their lives, they seem to relax and that helps their memories flow again. Their long-term memories are almost perfect, even when the short-term memories begin to cause some challenges. Ask your seniors to tell you some of their all-time favorite songs and be certain to write them down. They also are a part of the history of your seniors’ lives and love.

The things you do today to preserve memories will become gifts to you and your entire family tomorrow. The gift of time is the most precious of all. Christmas and the spirit of giving can last a full 365 days a year. Enjoy your time caring and sharing with your families this holiday season. On behalf of Chelsea, Rowen, and Lorene, we wish you a Merry Christmas!

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

What Are You Thankful for This Year?

Mon, 22 Nov 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Stop and think for a moment about how Thanksgiving 2021 definitely looks different than Thanksgiving 2020 and 2019. The airports are about to be full of flights across the country for families to reunite much more so than the past two years, to be sure.

It’s not the long tables piled high with food, the music, the conversations, and getting to and from the sites of the holiday meals that make it Thanksgiving. Instead, it’s the time we can all spend together with family and friends who we may see just once a year that reunites us.

A traditional Thanksgiving meal often involves a family prayer offered to acknowledge the blessings of gathering around the table, but when it all comes down to it, it’s the time we all spend together that actually means the most to us.

In our household, our son Rowen is the primary reason that Chelsea and I are so grateful this year. In just a few months, this little man has truly turned our worlds around and every day is an entirely new world through his eyes. For so long as (younger) adults, we were always part of someone else’s considerations.

For many, this Thanksgiving will be the first major dinner without a family member or dear friend at your table. This occasion provides a time to take the first step toward healing your loss. Although you might think that mentioning your collective loss is a path towards sadness, it’s still felt by all who knew and loved them.

Instead, you have an opportunity to include the memories of that person on this occasion. What was a signature dish they might have brought for the big meal? What was their favorite food to eat at Thanksgiving? Having a photo album nearby with pictures of your loved one provides a chance to reflect on their lives and share happy memories.

Our presence this year at the holidays means so much. If you’re missing loved ones this year, consider sharing a little about who they are and what you remember about them during the holiday season as you gather for tomorrow’s celebration. Was there some funny family event that they always told a story about?

Did they have a favorite food that no one else liked? How about that fruitcake from Corsicana? Did they fall asleep right after the big meal while watching football on TV? Did your family start doing Christmas decorations that weekend after Thanksgiving? The more you tell the youngest generation about the traditions and ways of the older generations, the more closely connected to family they will ultimately feel.

What are some of your favorite holiday traditions? Perhaps this year is the right time to write down a few of your stories for generations to come to enjoy in decades long after we’re all no longer here. They don’t have to be buried in a time capsule. They can be placed in a fireproof box for safekeeping for your future grandchildren and generations who will come after you.

Wishing all of you a safe and happy Thanksgiving from our entire Callaway-Jones family team of professionals!

Cody ’02 and Chelsea ’11 Jones (and Rowen ’43, too!)

Owners & Community Members

Area Observances Set for Veteran’s Day — Our Thanks to Those Who Served

Sat, 06 Nov 2021 04:00:00 GMT

This coming week marks the occasion of Veterans Day 2021 and for the 10th year now, the Bryan Rotary Club will arrange 1,000 flags in a “salute to service” at Veterans Park in College Station to create a Field of Valor. This is the 100 ^th anniversary year of Bryan Rotary Club serving our area and the service they offer our community continues to grow.

This year there’s an exciting program for area fifth grade students called “Statue Match,” where students study all the history information panels and statues along the American History Trail of Veterans Park, and they can learn what each statue represents.

On Veterans Day itself, beginning at 5:30 pm on Thursday, November 11, will be the annual Veterans Day Ceremony at the Louis L. Adam Memorial Plaza of Veterans Park. New names added to the Brazos Valley Memorial since last year will be recognized in a reading of the names recently added—the “Honor Wall Roll Call.”

If you have a loved one whose name you’d like to add, August 15 ^th each year is the annual deadline to provide the information form and payment for the coming Veterans Day observance.

There’s a majestic presence felt at the Veterans Park as the crowd hears the National Anthem and our state song, “Texas Our Texas,” sees the Rifle Salute of the Aggie elite corps group, the Ross Volunteers, and then “Taps” is played. One tip is to arrive early before the 5:30 pm start time to secure a good parking space.

The weekend following Veteran’s Day, the Museum of the American G.I. will host “History in Motion,” the weekend of November 13 and 14. Children and adults of all ages will delight in watching tanks and other vehicles moving over ground and weapons will be demonstrated. Inside the museum is an amazing collection of military vehicles. It’s a great family activity. We look forward to seeing you there.

Have you noticed, when you are out shopping in town, a group of distinguished gentlemen of senior age, and they are sporting baseball caps that indicate their branch of service and any particular battle or conflict they might have served in? It’s easy to pass them by unless you are looking.

I remember being at a Veteran’s Day observance and noticing how many local residents we know from other aspects of our life and searching their faces, you’d likely never known what they went through in the course of their service to our country.

Many have faces with lines burned into wrinkles but their eyes shine when they see our U.S. flag flying in town. They’re the ones who know the real meaning of the flag, because when they were thousands of miles away from home, the only thing that “said” home or brought them a sense of home were those flags.

Most of us don’t know what it’s like to spend the night or any amount of time in a foxhole. We don’t have medals that show all the conflicts that we’ve been in. We don’t know what it’s like to march for the 25 ^th mile that day, with a backpack weighted down with supplies that will sustain us for a few days.

Several friends have sons and daughters who are just through their first round of bootcamp, having just entered the service following their high school careers. They go through sleep deprivation, endure extreme cold and heat, go without food that gives strength, and it’s the ultimate test of endurance, and yet each young adult knows that going in. They’re at top physical performance because of their youth. They can run, they don’t have to jog.

But there’s a psychological component to military service that they are unprepared for and that is to lose a dear friend or even a member of their unit as a casualty of war. They don’t know what it’s like to lose a limb in battle or even in operations designed to simulate war. There’s an equal need to thank those who have not seen combat but who signed on to prepare to keep our nation safe.

Most Veterans keep their thoughts and memories silent. Instead, you’ll see them holding bundles of small American flags, planting them in containers in graveyards many times of the year, especially on Memorial Day when we honor those who lost their lives in service to our country.

Veteran’s Day is a day we thank all who volunteered to serve or who answered the call when their country sought their participation. You all are to be honored more than just a few days a year.

It may seem to you to just be “a thing you say” but whenever you see a young person on a plane or anywhere wearing combat fatigues, it means a lot to hear, “Thank you for your service.” We can’t say it enough, whether Veteran’s Day or every day. Our community is truly blessed by all of you being a part of our lives.

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Resident

Themed Funerals and How You Can Start Planning for Your Loved Ones

Sun, 24 Oct 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Over the years we’ve been in our new building, in the many Celebrations of Life that happen in our Bluebonnet Community Room, our Funeral Directors and Team Members have brought their special skills and talents to preparing our area for visitation and services where you truly feel at home. Very often there is a central theme for our life celebrations that are key to your loved one’s very heart and soul, what they loved most.

When we first expanded into our new facility, I asked Lacy Robinson, a NFDA Arranger Training Instructor, to visit and train our team in the most current in respectful yet special ways to honor the lives of loved ones. That visit has resulted in people coming to us and saying, “We want to have a service like the one you did for…”

Primarily what we are doing is hearing you tell us what it is that your loved one enjoyed the most in life, whether it’s outdoor sports and camping, to travel cruises, to Aggie sports, or motorcycle racing and motocross adventures, and more. Our funeral directors each have special gifts and talents when it comes to arrangements, particularly unforgettable Texas A&M-themed services or your favorite school.

Our funeral directors create magnificent video wall designs as the backdrop to a scenic lake when fishing is a passion. We’ve recreated a beautiful garden countryside for a dear woman who was devoted to her garden.

Funeral processions with police escorts, military honors at our funeral center or at graveside, our funeral directors work with families to display mementos before the funerals so everyone can get a full perspective of the lifetime of your loved one.

Personally, I love creating many of the video walls for our families, as it gives me an opportunity to use my design skills. In my blog I talk more about some of the themed services we have created, including those custom, personalized services led by our Certified Life Celebrant, Dawn Lee Wakefield. You will love how we can feature what you have in mind to create.

Here are some examples for sports fans–we can be as specific to a team you love or feature a general theme that brings you joy. Right now, this sport is on everyone’s mind.

For those to whom bowling is part of their active lifestyle:

Or fishing:

In this part of Texas there is a strong love for the Dallas Cowboys:

For those whose western cowboy roots are strong:

And for a family whose love of Studebakers is strong:

And, there was a youngster who loved Caterpillar equipment:

These are just a few of the ways in which friends and family can feel surrounded by love during their funeral services and celebrations of life that reflect the people, places, and things that meant the most to your loved one in their lifetimes. Working together with your funeral director, you can bring the items up to our Funeral Center before the service and we’ll help you set them up to create exactly the theme you want. Call us today to make an appointment to talk with one of our experienced team members about how to create a funeral service you will long remember.

If There’s Anything I Can Do: Comforting Your Friends After a Loss

Sat, 09 Oct 2021 04:00:00 GMT

“If there’s anything I/we can do, please don’t hesitate to call…” your voice trails off as you’re already halfway out the door, but it’s the final thing you wind up saying, your last thought as you’ve expressed your condolences for your loss and that of the family you’re visiting.

How many times do we actually find ourselves saying that very phrase as we are departing a funeral service or visitation of one who was so important in our lives when they were here? Particularly when we are close to the family for a long period of time, we fully intend to keep them an active part of our current lives and future activities. We have really good intentions.

But we keep repeating that entirely useless phrase, “If there’s anything I can do, please don’t hesitate to ask.” We do this because it’s almost like reflex. We want to help, but we don’t know what to do, and at the time, those who are grieving cannot even process what they will need or want or when the time will come where they need something.

Reality is that everyone who is going through grief always needs friends, in addition to family, to surround them and yet give them space to process their loss. They need to be with other people, but alone as well, so they can find a way to cry without others seeing them. Other people want to cry but can’t bring themselves to release their grief alone, but when they gather to speak of their loved one, then the tears will flow, and the healing can begin.

One thing to make note of, when you lose a dear friend, is that their spouse or child will remember several dates of the following year with great poignancy. The year is filled with “firsts,” the first birthday without Mom or Dad, the first birthday of the one who is no longer here, as well as the first Easter, Thanksgiving, Passover, and/or Christmas without a key family member at the dinner table. Often when the loved one is a senior, they were the central figure who brought everyone together for these celebrations.

After speaking with many of you about what has helped you on your healing journey, I’d like to share several ideas on how you can help a friend who has lost a loved one.

First, the absence of a loved one also means the absence of saying their name aloud. It seems simple, but the reality is that the old saying is true: “No one is dead until they are forgotten.” If we don’t speak aloud the names of our loved ones, it’s almost as though they didn’t exist. People who are going through grief don’t always have the tools to say, “I need to talk about my loss and I’d just like you to listen to me talk.” So we have to be the ones to bring up the loved one.

It doesn’t have to be contrived. We can just say, “I remember your Mom used to make the best desserts.” And that might be all it takes to get your friend to start talking about their Mom, and you’ll be surprised how easy it is to just listen. Tears may or may not flow by both of you but that’s okay, too. When the person who has lost a loved one has an easy time talking, then, they will start to heal. But, it often falls to us to initiate a visit. It might be you suggest a lunch meeting or a coffee meetup, and be prepared for your friend to say, “No, not right now.” Just give them some time, then ask again, and eventually your schedules will match up.

Other friends and family members can plan activities around holidays and having gatherings at different locations to change things up a bit. Other people prefer to meet at the usual homestead to gather and carry on the traditions just as you always have. It’s whatever feels right for them.

The first year after death is perhaps the most sensitive in the loss of a loved one. Often if a death occurred on, say, the 5th of the month, the first, second, and third months following the death will be a melancholy day as it is the first month, second month, third month, etc., without the loved one. Holidays wherever family members have regularly gathered together such as Easter, 4th of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas are opportunities to remember loved ones with a new tradition.

Some people will set a place for the missing loved one, and leave an open chair as a sweet memory. For holidays such as Christmas, some family members will take time to find a special ornament honoring something that their loved one collected. One woman collected tea cups and saucers and one clever family member found 8 tiny ornaments for the tree that were miniature cups and saucers. If you know of a favorite hobby, perhaps you can find something special for your friend or family member to mark the occasion.

Photographs are often one of the most wonderful chances to keep a loved one’s memory alive. In addition to the video tributes that you can create for the visitation and funeral guests to see, you might discover boxes of old movies, whether 8mm, or Beta/VHS, or even cameras that have long since grown dusty from use since everyone has a camera or two on their phones these days it seems. Transferring the different media to a DVD, or whatever platform you prefer is a pleasant option.

Preparing and assembling photo albums during extended holiday visits is a great way to encourage people to take all those scattered pictures and start grouping them. Most importantly, while you have your senior members of your family with you, it’s important to ask them about family history, names (and spellings) of ancestor names, where they lived, grew up, etc. Whenever there is a widow or widower left behind, it is so very helpful to the surviving spouse to share their stories, especially while they remember them. If a child has lost a parent, it is even more important to have photos of the now deceased parent to match their progress as they grow older in life.

A recent wedding day gift from a bride who is a friend of ours to her husband to be was to prepare a surprise video of her husband and his late dad, using still photos and 8mm films put together so in his own way, her husband “did” have his father and best friend present for his most important wedding day. It just goes to show how photographs are amazing in their healing powers.

All this to say that you can be an integral part of a healing period for your friends and family. Don’t just say, “If there’s anything I can do.” Be proactive and think of ways that you can spend quality time together, remembering loved ones together. It’s a gift that will be prized for the rest of their lives.

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

Jump Into Fall with the Arts!

Sun, 19 Sep 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Hard to believe, but back in the 1950s, when my grandparents opened Callaway-Jones, the Brazos Valley was not the vibrant site of the arts in our region that it is today. As we approach this fall’s entertainment opportunities, we have much to be thankful for, particularly the Arts Council of Brazos Valley, founded in 1970.

Many early College Station residents were professors at Texas A&M College (until 1963, when it became a University), and we had occasional concerts in town, but they were not regular events. Several professor’s spouses (virtually all faculty were men) had degrees in music from northeast schools, and they set about bringing classical music to town. It was common in Houston and Dallas, why not here?

Currently we are celebrating the 60 ^th year of the Brazos Valley Museum of Natural History, and our two newest museums are the African-American Museum of the Arts (15 ^th anniversary) and the Museum of the American GI (now in 7 ^th year of operation).

In 1990, ten community leaders were interviewed and shared several unique pathways by which a symphony group became reality, how arts programming began on the Texas A&M campus, and how a community choral program would start.

Later on, printed arts, painted arts, and arts productions on stage were added as member groups to this overall umbrella of what is known and thriving today as the Arts Council of Brazos Valley. Down the road, the TAMU MSC OPAS group found strong community support. They staged their own annual galas; later, the BVSO and BV Chorale conducted special fund-raising performances to supplement ticket sales. Many music performances are free today thanks to endowments and gifts left in trust.

The prestige our ACBV member groups have attained is strong. Community volunteers, of which I’m proud to be one, oversee the operations of the ACBV, so the arts can flourish.

This fall, we have an amazing series of performances that are listed in my blog across several of the member groups. Chelsea and I hope you’ll take time to include some of these and explore others in your upcoming schedule. The arts are the heart of the Brazos Valley!

60 ^th Year of the Brazos Valley Museum of Natural History , Now through January 2022, Vintage photos, artifacts, and specimens for only a $5 ticket price for adults. Visit https://www.brazosvalleymuseum.org/

Voices from Vietnam: Stories from Those Who Served, Now through September 30, 2021, at the Museum of the American GI , $6 ticket price for adults

Visit https://americangimuseum.org /

40th Season of Brazos Valley Symphony Orchestra (BVSO) http://bvso.org This is the 25th year of Music Director Marcelo Bussiki leading the BVSO, another reason to celebrate.

49 ^th Season of MSC Opera and Performing Arts Society (OPAS) with the season theme: “Let’s Get Together” http://www.mscopas.org

New Dawn, New Day, New Life Season, the theme of the season of the Brazos Valley Chorale https://bvchorale.org/

October 11, 2021 BVSO Golf Tournament presented by BMW of College Station

October 17, 2021 BVSO Summer Nights, starring international opera star and College Station native, Sasha Cooke, Rudder Auditorium

October 20, 2921 OPAS with Michael Cavanaugh, described as the “new voice of the American Rock & Roll Songbook” and Broadway star of Piano Man

October 24, 2021 BVC Fall — The Spheres — Kyrie, First Presbyterian Church

November 9,10, 2021 OPAS-Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Rudder Auditorium

November 16, 2021 BVSO Wind Serenades, Rudder Theatre

November 16, 2021 OPAS 7000 Miles to Broadway

November 30, 2021 OPAS The Kingdom Choir

December 3-4 2021 BVSO Premiere Market for the Holidays

December 6, 2021 BVC Christmas — Sunrise —Gloria, First Baptist Bryan

December 12, 2021 BVSO The Holiday Pops Concert, Christ United Methodist Church

January 30, 2022 BVSO The Music of Queen, Rudder Auditorium

February 4,5, 2022 OPAS- Beautiful, The Carole King Musical

February 16,17, 2022 OPAS, Rent

February 27, 2022 BVSO Romantic Piano, Rudder Auditorium, sponsored by the Ham Family Trust

March 6, 2022 BVC — Winter — The City — Credo, First Presbyterian

March 8,9, 2022 OPAS – An Officer and a Gentleman

TBA 2022 BVC — Spring — Identity & The Ground, Sanctus & Agnus Dei

March 28,29, 2022 OPAS – Fiddler on the Roof

March 27, 2022 BVSO Latin Flavor, Rudder Auditorium, sponsored by The Clearfield Family

April 26, 2022 BVSO ABBA The Concert, Rudder Auditorium

May 7, 2022 BVSO Derby Day Gala Fundraisers

May 8, 2022 BVC Identity & The Ground — Sanctus & Agnus Dei, TBD

Just scanning this list quickly, we can quickly conclude that our community is truly blessed to enjoy a full sampling of the very best of the arts across the Brazos Valley. Our deep thanks to all those who worked relentlessly to provide the funding, leadership, and guidance so that we may enjoy all of the wonderful opportunities we have today.

Cody ‘02 and Chelsea ’11 Jones

Rules for Success in Grade School and in Life — A Refresher

Sun, 05 Sep 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Across Facebook and Instagram last week, it’s been fun to see photographs being posted with children holding up a small chalkboard announcing, “First day of ____ Grade,” noting the beginning of a new year and clean slate. This week it’s been “First day of freshman year in College” photos circulating on Instagram.

How refreshing it is to have a clean slate, whether it’s a clean desk after a big project is done with everything put away. Or it could be a chance to start new competitions for your best grades and student conduct in class this year. It’s a time to put away memories of days past where struggles to learn might have dominated our thoughts.

An open mind is a first source of creativity and invention. Before we learn to draw, young minds are often wide open to coloring, both inside and outside the lines that might be there. When adults instruct us to “color inside the lines,” that may be the first barrier we experience that confines our creativity to the first “rule” it might encounter.

In elementary school, on the first day, young children are taught the “rules of the classroom.” Years ago, a friend was driving her son to school and without warning he started to cry. His mom asked him what was wrong, and he answered, “Mommy, I forgot the rules!” She reassured him that it was okay, and they’d go over it again that morning and he cheered up quickly. Talking to another youngster recently, I asked him how his first day of fourth grade went; he said, “Oh, we didn’t learn anything special. We learned classroom procedures and how we do things, like we do every year on the first day.”

Profound thoughts from two youngsters—wanting so much to “know the rules,” and then later on realizing that every new situation, whether school, work, or life, has procedures for success. Adults joining a new company welcome colleagues sharing office procedures and policies. Some are kind teachers; others look for things done wrong. What kind are we?

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on some of the best lessons I learned from my parents, teachers, and others from whom I learned this business. One of the best teachers is a man I never met: Zig Ziglar . This motivational gentleman built a modest speaking business into a major multigenerational empire.

Some of his rules and favorite sayings were:

“Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.” This is an appropriate lesson for all ages. Children in elementary school don’t know most of everything they will learn in six short years. Some children begin the year saying, “I don’t know anything.” That’s a sentence and attitude that can be reframed into: “I am going to learn so many new interesting and exciting things today.”

“You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want.” This is a lesson also for all ages. In high school, children tend to have many new friends that they’re around for four years consistently, so they know one another intensely. While not everyone is good at everything they try, there’s usually at least one thing that a person excels at over everyone else. When you seek to look to another person for what it is they do best, it can be the best thing to bring to your business, or it can be the area that they can lead. Again, a lesson for all ages.

Another present-day leader respected by all is Tony Robbins, a man who came from virtually no advantage and who achieved greatness at a young age and who continues to command legendary popularity. One writer attended years’ worth of Robbins’ seminars and offered some of Robbins’ favorite philosophies .

“Where focus goes, energy flows”

This sentence applies to elementary school children ever as much as adults. Children are masters at play and creativity as children. If you assign 10 children the same problem, you might find that they come up with 10 different solutions. The wildest imaginations of children are not bothered with filters, fears of negativity, or adults overseeing them, telling them they’re doing it wrong. As adults, once we begin doing what we love, we spend as much time as we can doing just that, writing, publishing, and creating. If we like sports and devote daily effort to a sport like soccer, each day we get better and better at it because of the energy we’ve put forward to mastering a skill.

“Be results-focused rather than activity-focused.”

You likely work with people every day who have their desks filled with file folders, pencils, a reference book, or to-do lists. Maybe they have a cork board filled with post-its and other reminders that shows they are overwhelmed and can’t see a way out. Now you might have a coworker who always has a clean desk and just focuses on one project at a time. Judging from just a glance, we might think the person with the disorderly desk is disorganized and the person with the clean desk is very organized. Chances are that is true.

When we are students, we’re taught to put away the one project (math) we’ve been working on, and then get out the book for the new topic we’re about to undertake. Usually we have small wirebound notebooks of different colors for different subjects, and we bring that right colored book out when we pull the book out. We have a limited amount of space on the top of our student desks anyway, so if you don’t put things away, it means we are cluttered and cannot focus clearly on the task at hand. This lesson is part of our life’s success for the rest of our lives.

Robbins believes there are six human needs: certainty, uncertainty/variety, significance, connection/love, growth, and contribution.

If we thought every day would be the same for the next, say two years, it would be almost impossible to be excited about looking forward to each day because we already know what we’re doing every minute of the day. But, if we’re happily married, coming home to the same spouse you fell in love with is just the kind of certainty that we can enjoy anticipating. Both certainty/uncertainty makes sense.

The need for significance is as deep and serious as any of these needs. When people feel appreciated noticed, noted, and as vital as their presence would be missed if they were not there, they tend to flourish and excel in their teams, whether school-based or adult life experiences. When significance is missing, people are more likely to go searching for a feeling of being special or needed. If they can’t find it, their behavior can either motivate them to accomplish more or they can act out negatively to get attention that way.

We all want to feel like we make progress. Students in school are gifted with grade cards, although they rarely see them as a gift at times. Measurements are constantly being made, recorded, and analyzed by teachers and students, monitoring their progress. As adults, we are either evaluated by our bosses, usually once a year, or raises and promotions are given at will by the department managers and corporate bosses in the largest organizations.

In our lifetimes we are blessed with good friends. Many of us feel lucky to have friends that we have had since elementary school. They are the ones who we feel closest to because we’ve known them so long, they’re as close as family to us. How do we make and keep these friends? Who better to turn to than Dale Carnegie, oracle of wisdom and author of the most popular book, “ How to Win Friends and Influence People .”

Carnegie’s “ rules of the road ” include:

“Do not criticize, condemn, or complain.” As children, we’re usually pretty good about this. As adults, let’s be honest with ourselves. Can we make it through an entire day without finding fault in anyone we encounter?

“Be generous with praise.” Children respond brilliantly to two words; “Good job.” It is amazing to watch a child navigating a difficult task for the first time. When a parent or teacher says “Good job,” watch their little faces light up with joy. With our coworkers, when find things they’re doing right or exceptionally well, tasks they complete without even being asked, and we take the time to notice their skills and compliment them, watch their faces light up just like the schoolchild.

Everyone needs to be appreciated, valued, and respected. The best way to make friends is to follow these “rules of the road” to make for a successfully and happy school and work life, filled with positive people around us, and when we push the negative people out of our mainstream path, we tend to be happiest. Don’t be afraid to evaluate the importance of friends in your life.

Sometimes we spend too much time trying to reclaim an un-valuable friendship when we could have more time with an in-valuable friend. Time gets shorter and shorter, the older we get. Spend your time wisely. Happy “back to school” days to our secondary and college “kids” in our community. Have a great year of learning ahead.

Cody ’02 and Chelsea ’11 Jones

Owners & Community Members

Announcing Our Sixth Generation Callaway-Jones Team Member!

Sat, 28 Aug 2021 04:00:00 GMT

It is with great pleasure that Chelsea and I introduce to you the sixth generation of the Callaway-Jones family—Rowen Michael Jones. He entered this world on August 23rd and if you will allow proud parents a little bias, he is the most handsome little boy we’ve ever seen.

After thinking a long time about what to name our son, we explored a very long list of possibilities. Chelsea especially liked Rowen as no one else she knew had the name and it sounded strong and his middle name, of course, honors my father, Mike Jones . In our family we have several “R’s: Raymond, Ramon, and now Rowen.

I also like how it stands out when you say it out loud. I have two great friends, also named Cody, so you can imagine how many heads were answering “Yes,” when one of our moms called out for us.

Needless to say, my mother, Lorene Jones, is the happiest grandmother in a seven-county area. Over the years her hints about wanting a grandchild were less and less subtle. Now, we are guaranteed a willing volunteer anytime the occasion arises where Chelsea and I want to get away for an evening out, including Aggie football. There won’t be that many at first because we both cannot wait to meet, know, and love our new little man.

He may grow up hearing the Texas Aggie fight song in the nursery and learn more about his Aggie roots as he grows up. We don’t actually think that is a lullaby, but babies can fall asleep to anything, right? I’ll let you know soon enough how we all get to sleep through the nights. In my work life I’m used to sleeping light and waking up at any hour of the night, so it makes sense that many times I’ll take the night shift so Chelsea can try to sleep. We’ll all find a routine pretty soon.

Rowen arrived in this world on the afternoon of August 23, 2021. It was one day following our burial of my grandmother, Dian Bennett Jones, having capped off our ceremony with a champagne toast, just as she had requested.

It reminded me of the quote by Alfred Tennyson:

There’s no doubt that prayer was the center of our lives this week and long before. We spend so much time anticipating birth and death in this life, we must make the most of every moment in between where it is possible to create memories to truly last a lifetime.

What Chelsea and I are delighted to await are a series of Rowen’s firsts. On Friday he had his first checkup and passed everything with flying colors. Another collective deep breath exhaled. There are so many milestones waiting to be recorded in his baby book. First word, first step, first ball he picks up and either kicks or throws. And on it goes.

One of the most precious gifts we can have is to be blessed with a large family and if you’re lucky, someone takes charge of genealogy and exploring our ancestry, which can take years to pursue, document, and preserve for future generations. Fortunately for us, it was my grandmother, Dian B. Jones , who was also our family tree expert.

As it stands today, Rowen Michael Jones represents a ninth-generation Texas, with roots in Bryan-College Station, Crockett, and Palestine, Texas. While I believe he will ultimately join a long line of Aggie grads in his future, who knows yet? We want to leave that option open for him, just as we do his future occupation.

Neither my dad nor my granddad, nor I thought we’d be destined to lead our family business, but when the opportunities presented themselves, we set about to do our very best to make that happen. It’s not that we didn’t want to do it. It was just that it was never demanded of us, at least early on in our lives. Now if I wanted to earn a salary as a teenager, I knew where I could get a job for the summer or after school. But I found plenty of time not to work, too, at least at the office.

For many years I made soccer a full-time hobby that required the same amount of attention as a job. I was certainly as serious about it. I remember my dad taking the time to coach our Brazos Magic ’79 Soccer Team. We won the state championships in both 1991, and again in 1998. This made us the only boys’ team to win the state championship in its first and last years of eligibility, and we won over 400 victories. From my dad’s dedication to me and my friends, he founded a total of three soccer teams, and we have the Aggieland Youth Soccer Tournament as one of the premiere soccer events in the state thanks to him.

After my dad died in 2004, the City of Bryan dedicated and renamed the soccer fields at the BRAC complex in his honor.

Whether or not Rowen chooses to play soccer in his high school years will be up to him, but I can’t wait to introduce him to the sport early on, if only to strengthen his eye/foot coordination and reaction speed and skills. Oh, who am I kidding? I want to play soccer with my son! I’m also prepared for him to get past me for a goal. I will be thrilled if he plays baseball and burns a pitch right past me.

I fully expect him to catch fish bigger than mine, and it won’t be long before he and I are in the golf cart for a quick nine holes before dinner after work in the summers. If that wasn’t meant to be, I don’t think the City of Bryan would have brought in BigShots Golf to the Travis B. Bryan Midtown Park , literally across from our Bryan funeral center.

And it will be fun to have a companion to help me shop for his mom on special days and holidays. He will be my second-best friend (next to his mom), and we might very well collect our list of “Don’t tell Mom” items along our daily journeys, all very mild, mind you, like if I let him drive the truck a little before he might be age appropriate. You know.

Chelsea has her own list of “want to’s” planned for equal time. She was both sister and mother figure to her brothers as they were growing up, so she is already fully skilled at knowing what mischief little guys can get into and anticipate possible disaster before it happens. They may also have their own “Don’t tell Dad” list.

I can already envision it now. They’ll color at the kitchen table to create his first artwork, then I’ll bring him to the office to learn Adobe Photoshop, or something like that. To quote Dr. Seuss from “Oh, The Places You’ll Go”:

And away we will go on our adventures. God bless you, Rowen, and thank you for arriving on time.

With thanks to all of you who have been reaching out to us during this special time,

Cody and Chelsea, and as we’re now known, Rowen’s parents

PTSD is Not Just a One Day Per Year Observance

Sun, 08 Aug 2021 04:00:00 GMT

As back to school ads appear, we reluctantly prepare to say goodbye to summer, which also included a month-long recognition and a single day, June 27 ^th , which was designated specifically for Green Berets. But the cause is truly in the hearts and minds of many during PTSD Awareness month each June. PTSD Awareness month often takes a silent second place to May’s Memorial Day, as we recognize veterans who lost their lives in battle. August 7 was National Purple Heart Day.

Many veterans lose their lives to PTSD, as they take their own lives in response to trauma they underwent in combat service, but the distress and emotional damage that occurred took time to fully make itself known. When it did, it was too late to save the soldier from what many around that person didn’t realize how or how much their loved one was suffering.

Memorial Day traditionally comes with distinction and honor; PTSD Awareness Day for Green Berets is typically shrouded in silence, presumably noticed and recognized only by those whose loved ones have been impacted by post-traumatic stress disorder while in service. In the past it’s often not been seen as a problem that could be treated and potentially prevented with the right services available. Instead, it was something you just have to “get through.” You have to overcome what happens to you when you come home. Sometimes, that’s simply not the answer.

Only recently did this important situation come to mind and hit home when I received a call from Nicole Morten (Water to Wine Productions) and Dawn Lee Wakefield (our Certified Life Celebrant). A mutual friend’s cousin, an Aggie, and a highly decorated Green Beret, had taken his life as a result of PTSD, and the family did not have an officiant already chosen. Could we provide support for the family by lending Dawn Lee to conduct his service?

Immediately I agreed and now the three of us want to share with you all the story of one young man’s life, his career at and love for Texas A&M, his hopes and dreams for the future, his love for his family, and perhaps it will reveal how and why life was cut short because of unrecognized PTSD.

On March 14 this year, The Eagle editorial board published an opinion piece about mental health, noting that in 2018, suicide was the fourth leading cause of death for Americans ages 35–54. The opinion noted “Too many people having such (suicidal) thoughts don’t reach out for help. When they do, it is incumbent on all of us to get them whatever assistance is available.” Further, “The common response when a person commits suicide is ‘We never saw it coming. He or she seemed so normal, so happy, so well-adjusted.’”

This would fit SFC Garcia accurately. He was a warrior among a highly trained group of warriors in the elite Green Beret group. They’re all made of steel, we believe, they are impervious to fear, and the more dangerous the battles they emerge from are, the more medals they are awarded. A poignant thing was that in all the time that SFC Garcia was alive, he never shared a word about the existence of the medals he had been awarded while in combat. Not with his parents, his ex-wife, with whom he shared great friendship and partnership in raising their children. His children learned of those awards as the Chaplain of the Green Beret unit shared his military biography with those gathered to pay their respects at his memorial service in Dallas.

During the slide show, attendees saw countless pictures of a young Aggie, Gilbert Garcia, as an adult student, thanks to the GI bill, earning his civil engineering degree and excelling in all of the most challenging academic pursuits, also becoming a beloved colleague in his classes, even if he was older than the average college student.

In an Aggie branded t-shirt, you’d never be able to pick him out of a crowd, because he blended in so easily with loyal alumni who never failed to be able to root for his Aggies in whatever sport was going on.

In Special Airborne services, details of service missions are not well known to the public because they’re all essentially classified. When Gilbert came home between tours of duty, he didn’t share details with his family. He was not one to have a lot of spare time anyway as he worked hard on his studies and in internship jobs, and taking time with his family. There was no one to understand and he didn’t admit the pressures he was under to his fellow soldiers, likely because he didn’t want to appear weak.

It’s easy to write that setting aside a day, a week, or a month to honor those whose lives are lost to combat conditions while in military service is a drop in the bucket that cannot mend the losses shared by families when a solider decides they can no longer stand the pressure of what they have seen and heard while in service to their country. But each one of us whose lives has been improved by those who have defended our country, who paid for our freedom with their very lives, either during battle on the field or after their return home, can be part of the solution. Federal support funds exists but private donations can make a substantive difference. Volunteers can receive training in how to help. Those who can do nothing else can still pray for those impacted to be diagnosed and successfully treated to return stateside successfully as they reintegrate into normal daily life. The type where the sound of a car backfiring won’t cause them to freeze instantly and flashback to bullets soaring loudly in the night skies of battle.

This past year alone, our community has responded generously to a nonprofit called BV Cares , designed especially for veterans’ assistance and Texas A&M has received a signature gift for the Don & Ellie Knauss Veteran Resource and Support Center , to “provide caring, personalized and continuous support to Aggie undergraduate and graduate student veterans and military-affiliated students.”

Although our soldiers might not talk much at first about their experiences, if at all, we can continue to visit with them about anything they want to talk about, keep them from isolating by themselves for too long, and give them plenty of time to find their way to joining in the things they used to love doing before they were deployed. Please consider learning more about PTSD as it impacts those in the community around you, wherever you live. Recommend to their loved ones that there are local resources for identifying and diagnosing and monitoring progress in those who have been impacted by PTSD, even if they have not recognized it in themselves yet. Together, we can all work toward a solution as we pray for the healing of their minds and restoration of peace into their worlds. Anything that can improve the quality of our brave soldiers’ lives can ultimately save a life.

As you watch the video, think about how you’d never be able to spot this excellent young soldier in a crowd when he’s standing outside Kyle Field. Imagine the things his children will have to learn about their dad from others rather than through their own eyes and experiences. Now think of all the young men and women that we don’t know from the Brazos Valley who have just begun their military service careers. From this large group could come future special forces service members who might find themselves at the front of a conflict. The problem is real, and with research, time, and direction of professional efforts, hopefully it can be battled and managed more successfully in the future. Together we can make a difference rather than just marking the passing of National PTSD Awareness Day for the brave soldiers who have attained the distinction of the Green Berets.

The Continued Joy of Space Travel

Sun, 25 Jul 2021 04:00:00 GMT

July 20th was the day Neil Armstrong set foot upon the Moon. Even though Chelsea and I weren’t born yet, the excitement of the Moon landing has sustained Americans all the past 52 years it seems.

Saying, “One small step for man; one giant leap for mankind” was more than a motto. It was a promise that all the work that had taken the United States to the Moon was respected forever, but it also meant that it was by no means the end to the desire and will to know more about outer space.

More history in space travel has being made this month. On Sunday, July 11, business pioneer Richard Branson “became the first person to ride into space aboard a rocket he helped fund.” What an amazing feat from the man who overcame dyslexia to establish several successful businesses. The first one you’d know is the Virgin Record label, then Virgin Airlines (later sold to Alaska Airlines).

The man who built an empire out of a great idea to sell books, Jeff Bezos, created yet more history on July 20, 2021, just 52 years to the day of the first moonwalk. His company, Blue Origin, launched the New Shephard rocket for its premiere 11-minute flight.

In addition to Mark Bezos and his brother Jeff, passengers included the oldest (80-year-old) woman aviator, Wally Funk and youngest (18-year-old) physics student, Oliver Daemen and experienced NASA Space Shuttle astronaut, Nicholas Patrick, who launched the rocket in West Texas.

Inspirational messages, direct and indirect, have been shared all month for the next generation, including the one our son will be part of.

“To see the Earth from space, it changes you, it changes your relationship with this planet, with humanity,” Bezos said. Branson shared a message during his flight: “To all you kids out there — I was once a child with a dream, looking up to the stars. Now I’m an adult in a spaceship…If we can do this, just imagine what you can do.”

Richard Branson was accompanied by three Virgin Galactic employees, Beth Moses, Colin Bennett, and Sirishaa Bandla, and two pilots, Dave Mackay and Michael Sasucci. It reached a height of 50+ miles and one can only imagine what it felt like to be weightless and to see the Earth below you.

The way it was described, to get back to Earth, the plane flipped over onto its other side and you saw the wings curl up , “mimicking the shape of a badminton shuttlecock,” which righted the ship and took it back down to Earth. Imagine if you’ve been a “frequent flier” most of your adult life but this time the plane is landing after you’ve seen the Earth and felt zero gravity. What a thrill that had to have been for the passengers and for Branson himself. It was only a 1.5-hour trip , but for the inaugural passengers, those memories are surely the highlight of their lives so far.

In business, whether music or space travel, Richard Branson has done quite well for himself even if he did drop out of school when he was 16. But, he was not quitting to avoid work. In fact, he began a youth magazine called “Student” and was an instant success as a natural advertising salesman. He was on his way.

At age 19, he started a mail-order record company, when a record label, and there he signed the Culture Club, the Rolling Stones and Genesis. At age 30, his bio notes , that he started a travel company, an airline at 34 and then a series of megastores like Costco. He had his share of business losses but always got back up to try again.

It’s said his love of music kept him in the business, founding a radio station, another record label, and Branson kept expanding to businesses including a train company, a mobile phone company, a cruise line, and ultimately a space tourism country (source: Branson bio). When you stop to think, Branson put careful thought and attention to what people needed the most: an escape from the ordinary aspects of daily life.

Music helps us escape and often relaxes us after a hard day. Travel takes us anywhere but where routine is, and it’s fun that way—whether train, plane, or cruise ship. Now outer space…that’s something else again.

Jeff Bezos has become an icon to those of us who click “Add to Cart” when we shop at amazon.com and yet until recently, many of us didn’t realize how much into the space race he was with his new company Blue Origin. Now there was a mockup of the space capsule presented at a space symposium in 2017 , but reality seemed far away from “go for launch.”

Two passengers were on the manifest from the beginning. First, Jeff Bezos, then his brother Mark, which left two spots available. One of the most exciting aspects of the flight was one-time astronaut Wally Funk. Today at 82 she has just completed her first space flight ever, having trained but never getting to see space before. The fourth space was designated for the winner of an auction.

The auction brought a sum of $28,000,000 but, in the worst possible timing, there was a scheduling conflict and the person who won couldn’t go! That opened the door to finding the “youngest” space traveler to offset the “oldest” traveler, Wally Funk. An 18-year-old physics student, Oliver Daemen was the passenger who paid an unspecified amount for the open seat. Blue Origin issued a press release that said, “Flying on New Shepard will fulfill a lifelong dream for Oliver, who has been fascinated by space, the Moon, and rockets since he was four.”

A Reuters report noted that commercial space travel could be worth $3 billion dollars a year in the next decade. So, imagine yourself in 2031, hearing the takeoff of what you think is another flight from United Airlines bound for south, east, north, or west of the Brazos Valley. Soon, there may be one more option that is just as frequent, north, way way up into the sky. I’m excited that our generation will be here to see it happen.

What about you? If the price were more affordable than the $28,000,000 paid to charity for the open seat in auction, would you want to be on a flight in the next five years? Chelsea and I just might have to say, “Yes!”

Reflecting on Freedoms this Fourth of July

Sun, 04 Jul 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Everyone’s favorite holiday is finally upon us. And, as usual, the Brazos Valley has had to make a few adjustments in our community celebrations for the 4 ^th . We were looking forward to the “I Love America” Independence Day Celebration at Wolf Pen Creek, but out of wise caution, the College Station Noon Lions Club said the lawn saturation with water and safety issues could really make it unsafe, so it is postponed. That’s the bad news. There’s still good news.

This year is our nation’s 245 ^th anniversary of celebrating the founding of our nation as an independent country—land of the free, home of the brave. That’s a slogan that has special meaning for those whose ancestors fought for our rights to be free from England and the monarchy. We’ve been free as a nation for so long, it’s really easy to forget a day and time when we were not able to enjoy the freedoms we do today.

So often we forget what was at stake to forge ahead bravely for our freedom, because this day, like Memorial Day and like Veteran’s Day, is a day of remembrance that has become slightly secondary to the opportunity for a day off of work, a day without mail delivery and bank transactions, and a hefty amount of red, white, and blue bunting gathered up. We talk of barbeques and fireworks and sometimes the day fades gently from meaning.

Yes, five years from now, it will be the 250 ^th anniversary, but this year, of all years, is a tremendous reason to celebrate. In the past 12+ months, as a nation we’ve joined together to heal from COVID-19 and remember the lives of loved ones we’ve lost. We’ve become closer as friends and neighbors who help each other; and we’re grateful for every day we are together with our seniors, having been reunited with them and hugging them tightly around the necks, holding their hands and not wanting to let go.

It’s the children in our community who make us stay true to honoring this day for its true meaning. Across town today on Saturday morning, many subdivisions held parades of their own, with adults and children walking side-by-side waving little American flags. Children rode their bicycles or pedaled their cars and wave back at the adults who were sitting in camp chairs on sidewalks lining the path, waving at the little patriots-in-training.

Today at 5pm at First Baptist Church in Bryan, the public is invited to attend a free patriotic concert, followed by a picnic for those who attend.

The fireworks at the end of the day remind us all that we have the opportunity, the right and the freedom to worship, speak, live, and love in peace. And that we should not take these freedoms for granted because there are those whose daily lives do not include freedoms.

Per The Eagle update, on Sunday night, July 4 ^th , the TAMU RELLIS Campus opens at 6:30pm and will host “drive-in and stay-in-your-car” fireworks (and a drone show) at 9pm. You can watch on KBTX or listen to your car radio at 94.5 FM. Then, the Volunteer Fire Department in Kurten will start their activities and fun at 5pm, with fireworks at 9pm.

Getting the weekend started on July 2nd, was First Friday in Downtown Bryan, as we’ve come to enjoy. New management of the Palace and Queen Theatres by longtime friends, the Schulman family, is coming soon. Look for future years’ celebrations to include those two venues.

Although firework stands have been operating everywhere at the edges of town, and yes, they are wonderful fun, but inside the boundaries of B-CS city limits, they’re NOT permitted. Please enjoy your fireworks in the country and stay safe.

A special request—Our dogs are terrorized by the sounds (they hear and feel so much more intensely than we do) of fireworks, whether black cats, bottle rockets, or the most sophisticated types. Even if you’re not a pet owner, please empathize with those who are and make sure you don’t set them off where pets are present. The animal shelters get filled with dogs who run away from their yards because they are scared. Thanks for thinking of our “extra” family members.

May your 4 ^th of July reflect a great day of celebrating our nation’s founding, the history we share as a country, and the connectivity we all share as U.S. citizens and the freedoms we enjoy each day. Freedom isn’t free and we are forever reminded of the price our loved ones pay with their lives to sustain our freedom still today. Wave your flag proudly and hold her high—long may she wave!

Cody ’02 and Chelsea ’11 Jones

Countdown to Fatherhood

Sun, 20 Jun 2021 04:00:00 GMT

This Father’s Day holiday 2021 is the year in which I’ve been gifted with the opportunity to think of myself as an impending father. For so many years, I’ve observed this occasion in memory and honor of my dad, Mike Jones, and with my grandfather, Raymond C. Jones. They set a high bar to follow in parenting; I have many memories and experiences with them to draw upon now that it’s my turn.

My wife, Chelsea, will be the MVP, saying whether I get it right or wrong as the days go by. She is so immensely organized as usual, but in these final months before we officially become parents, I really appreciate her ability to plan and schedule.

We’ve been able to enjoy the doctor’s appointments together and getting the nursery ready for our son. I’ve been thinking of things I want him to experience with me, the way I did with my dad. Of course, there will be a junior set of golf clubs in his future— after he learns to stand and walk. Soccer balls may already be in the nursery. He will love maroon and white.

In 2021, children already have more technology available to them to monitor their every movement and feeling. I will probably rival any other new dad for most photos taken every day of our son. I have loved seeing photos of your children, and I am excited to be able to share some of mine with you soon.

Any of us who are bringing new lives into the world at this time know that our children can be anything they want to in life. Our fun will be in watching him grow up, and loving him every day of his life, and learning a lot from this experience. While things were quiet, sort of, and before the 2am feedings arrive, I made a list of hopes, wishes, and dreams for our son, all made without consulting him of course! I welcome your advice and expertise, so please feel free to comment on my blog. Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there!

Hopes, wishes, and dreams that a father wants for his son will vary from dad to dad. Some dads want their sons to grow up and take over the family business; others don’t. As I was growing up, I remember that some of our client families might see me in my high school and college days and say to me, “I’ll bet you will one day be doing what your father is doing for your firm!” Growing up, I always knew that was an option but fortunately it was not a carved-in-stone expectation. My dad especially wanted me to be whatever I wanted to be in life, without the pressure of feeling like I must absolutely accept the family business as my future choice with no options.

In fact, he was very supportive when I expressed a desire to study graphics, film animation and the movie industry as a teenager. I’d had some initial success in designing with Macintosh computers and in school, we had access to some great resources. So, my first thought was to give that a try, knowing full well that I had parents who supported my choices. I had some great design teachers, and I really enjoyed my studies, but Bryan-College Station was often on my mind.

My dad had the pleasure of working together with his dad for many years, but my grandfather had a lifetime of doing things “his way,” and wasn’t necessarily as welcoming of technology as my dad was. In fact, my dad was very creative and had some great ideas. My grandfather’s people skills were unmatched. Everyone loved Raymond, but since my dad had also grown up here, all his classmates loved him too, and we had two generations of business relying on our firm.

For our son, I hope that he might want to be like his dad at least in loving sports. The first four letters of the alphabet will learn could very well be E-S-P-N, four fine letters to be sure. I want to give him the world, like most dads, but I’m going to encourage him to wok as soon as he is able to earn his own spending money. It’s what they have to contribute with their own money that defines how they feel about the cost of something.

Dreams for our son are that he will join others his age in making a difference in our community, for as long as he wants to live here. His work may take him out of town eventually, but there is a reason Chelsea and I love living here. We’re surrounded by family and friends. Together we all try to help one another when we can.

Technology changes are going to be simply amazing in the next decade. Perhaps when he is 12, we might be up to iPhone model 24 , or there could be a brand new champion for phone communication. Whatever is faster than 5G will likely be standard for any phone.

As he grows up, the Midtown Park development across the street from Callaway-Jones will be complete and I will cherish being able to take lunch breaks and meet with his Mom as we, together, spend as much time together and just take time to enjoy his growth and progress everyday.

We’re going to spend time together, he and I, working on greeting cards and presents for his Mom at all the holidays. At first we’ll use crayons and as soon as he can, I’ll teach him Adobe photoshop, version 92, no doubt. He and I will do adventuresome fun things as I did with my dad. There will also be the “man code” of things we “Don’t Tell Mom” about right away, because she might worry about our safety. I also am fully aware that he and Chelsea will have their “Don’t Tell Dad” list, too. Fair is fair.

My mom simply cannot wait to hold him in her arms and that will give me a chance to take photos of his every smile, laugh, first step, and first words he says. It really doesn’t matter whether he wants to become the sixth generation of our family-owned business. It will be his choice, and his own free will.

In the meantime, I’m thinking that if he wants spending money as he’s growing up, he can count on a job each summer and school break and likely some of his school friends will want to work here, too. Whatever he wants, we are going to try to make his future happen, as he dreams he wants it to be. It will be fun seeing him go to the schools I grew up going to, and maybe they will still be on the same campus, but in time, all things must change. The excitement is watching the progress and joy that comes with each day of being a dad. I’ll begin to know that experience in September.

To all of you who are celebrating Father’s Day this year, may you know how special you are and how respected you are, for the men you are and the men you are raising. No greater gift to our community and country could we ask for is another generation of great Brazos Valley men you can count on, whose word is their bond, and who care deeply for our country and our hometowns. Happy Father’s Day 2021 to all of you!

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

Summer Fun Starts Soon — Are You Ready?

Sun, 06 Jun 2021 04:00:00 GMT

The end of the school term marks so many opportunities for fun things for children to do that enhances their time away from the classroom, if you’re not hitting the road right away.

There are so many (free) or minimal cost activities in store especially for families. First, from now through June 30, the City of Bryan is celebrating 150 years as an incorporated city! There is a great display on the Texas A&M Campus at the Cushing Memorial Library and Archives (the building on the back side of Evans Library that faces the Academic Building). See who the city’s leaders were and learn about our early businesses.

In downtown Bryan, the Clara Mounce Library and Carnegie Library have displays of photos, artifacts, and oral histories to share. Looking at the signs of businesses that were located downtown when I was growing up brings back memories. Seeing some of those business still thriving today, even if slightly different, is such a great history lesson.

Therefore when we take our children and our grandchildren around the town we grew up in, we show them the streets that once started out as the first on their block. What were once fluorescent signs are now LED lit

As a Board Member of the Arts Council of Brazos Valley I want to share the exciting summer programs for children of all ages coming up. Starting Monday, June 7 ^th , Week 1 of Arts Camp is available for youth ages 7–18: Amanda Lynne’s “Colorful World of Pastels” and for teens, Krislyn Koehn is teaching “A Toy Story” and teaches your teen how to make an animated short film. Five more weeks of classes follow at $125/week per child for affordable creative fun.

Facebook site Destination Bryan is one you’re going to want to visit at least twice a week. They’re great in providing the public with information they can use. One recent post is “13 Restaurants, Bars, & Pubs with Outdoor Patios in Bryan.”

If you enjoy golf, and you’re not a member of a local club, be sure and take the chance to play at Bryan’s City Course at the Philips Event Center . As of June 4, the golf course is re-sprigging all 18 greens, per their web site. They will have 18 temporary greens to play on during this time, so you have a new challenge to conquer in the interim. Check out special rates for Brazos Valley area college students this year. They offer lessons this summer for new golfers, and full golf memberships are available together with discounts for first responders, military personnel and senior member golfers. Family memberships are a great bargain for parents and children to enjoy summer together. Guest fees are very reasonable ($9 for 9 holes M-Th and $15 for 9 holes weekends if you walk) plus golf carts are available for only a bit more.

At Pecan Lakes course in Navasota, individual memberships start at $220/month for golf and cart, and you can use the pool and weight room for $15/month more. Family memberships begin at $270/month and senior pricing is affordable at $180/month. Lately, the biggest challenge for golf at any course is picking a tee time on a day where there is not some kind of unexpected storm warning. There will also be some good golf tournaments to benefit area charities, so keep your eyes open for chances to better your game.

Area pools also provide affordable fun for all ages. This will mark the second week the pools are open with the following hours in Bryan (mornings are for lessons from waterbabies through adult programs):

Sadie Thomas Pool, MWF from 12:00 noon until 5pm

Henderson Harbor, TTh from 1 to 7pm

Bryan Aquatic Center Sat/Sun from 1 to 7pm

If you’re interested in Swim Lessons for your children, visit this site .

Costs range from $2/$3 per daily admission to $40 for 25 visits; individual and family passes range from $200 up in Bryan.

In College Station, pool hours are the following:

Adamson Lagoon, M-Fri 1-7pm, Sat/Sun 12noon to 7pm from June 1-August 15; Aug 21-Sept 26 Sat/Sun 2-7pm

Cindy Hallaran Pool M-Fri 10am-6pm, Sat/Sun 12noon-7pm

Fun For All Playground Splash Pad, Mar. 1 – Oct. 31, Daily 8am-9pm

W.A. Tarrow Splash Pad, Mar. 1 – Aug. 31, 8am-9pm, Sept. 1 – Oct. 31, Daily 8am-6pm

Costs range from Free to $6/day without individual or family swim pass in College Station.

We’re so fortunate to live where there are abundant opportunities for kids to swim.

The Children’s Museum of the Brazos Valley has a new home (if you haven’t been there in a while) and has moved to 4114 Lake Atlas Drive in Bryan, near the Stella Hotel. Children from infant to 14 can find so many fun things to do, from making their own technology and art inventions to story time with our program administrators. Stations and exhibits challenge our young visitors to think their way through creativity and innovation here and you can visit here many times before completing time at each exhibit. They are also a fun destination for children’s birthday parties as well.

Summer nature camp at the Brazos Valley Museum of Natural History is great for older youth. Located at the Brazos Center, there’s an inside Discovery Room, plus the 40-acre park to serve as learning sites and “classrooms.” These programs fill up fast because they keep a 1 teacher to 5 students ratio for optimum learning opportunities.

If your children show talent and interest in performing arts, check out Brazos Valley TROUPE performances, youth programs, and workshops for some of the best pre-professional training and experiences kids will enjoy. They are located in one of Bryan’s strip centers on 29th street, very close to Bryan High and Dairy Queen (important summer visit location also).

So many times we drive by the same landmarks day after day, without taking the time to think about what it was like to plan for starting “that” business, making a plan to open the business, saving sufficient funds and choosing a location. Whether or not it was two years ago, or fifty years ago that a family made an investment in this town. There are so many hopes and dreams that go into starting something new. Everyday we use that business and make it a place we frequent, we are building it up, becoming a partner in its success legacy. Patronage of our businesses begins with our youngest citizens. People tend to be loyal to businesses that cater to young people and adults as they grow up and become parents of their own.

We hope you enjoy taking time to enjoy many of the available summer fun activities with your family this summer. You have about 90 days before back to school transitions begin. Make every day of summer count with some fresh air, sunshine, and great experiences to remember for the future!

The Meaning of Memorial Day for Soldiers Then and Now

Mon, 31 May 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Every time I hear someone say, “Have a good Memorial Day,” as we do so often out of reflex, I pause for a minute. So often the newspaper and TV ads and mail circulars are printed in big, bold, red, white, and blue colors, with stars and rockets soaring, reflecting a sale, or a picnic that you need to stock up for, or just any single thing that has zero to do with the true cause of Memorial Day in our hearts.

Most of us in this generation only know by stories what it is like for the doorbell to ring and have two uniformed soldiers standing outside, waiting to officially inform a mother and father that a grateful nation is sorry to share that their son or daughter lost their life in service to our country. Whether wartime or peacetime, these were the most dreaded times of our parents’ and grandparents’ lives. Some made it home; others didn’t.

Burial may be in a family plot, or in a national cemetery, an honor that is due all who served, and this day is one where family visits the graveside and places flowers or a wreath on the grave. In other cases, when a soldier was missing in action, lost at sea, without a body to ship home. For those families especially, there was never any peace or sense of closure.

Last week at school, children made buddy poppies in their arts and crafts classes. This tradition goes back to 1922. These simple decorations are powerful, poignant national symbols that honor memories of those who gave their lives serving our country.

With all the standards and traditions that remain, one group of individuals who find themselves overlooked or left out of history books, not formally recognized as essential personnel no longer with us—those who returned from service having experienced post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Ultimately this exposure led to suicide, so this a second group of those whose lives were lost because of military service.

As a society, we are now beginning to understand the impacts and ultimate outcome of some cases of PTSD upon our military service personnel. In 2021, military benefit information published notes “Some 224 million Americans have experienced a traumatic event. Of that number, some 20% will develop PTSD symptoms, roughly 44 million people.”

Thinking back to the days of our grandparents, what we call “The Greatest Generation,” those of us with grandparents or parents who served our country in wartime experienced sights, sounds, memories, and losses of life that were so traumatizing that they did not even bring up the subjects of what they saw during wartime when they were safely at home. It was simply never discussed.

Many people were so sensitive to noise that the children in the family all had to keep their inside sounds muted and never loud, never with surprises like back doors banging shut, let it sound like a bullet round or something. Often times, the veteran would find themselves drinking before dinner to stay calm, or perhaps they’d visit a bar before coming home. Not always, but sometimes, this was a common response to try and fight the horrors of PTSD.

Back in the day, they used terms like “shell shock” and “combat shock” that applied an immediate response to an immediate trigger. Some people sought to retire from military service when their enlistment period was over. Others managed to overcome the triggers to not being in shock every time a pot or pan fell in the kitchen.

PTSD is real, it’s more than just reliving a time or circumstance where an act of war took someone’s life by another’s hand. Soldiers sent to Vietnam experienced atrocities they simply could not talk about then, and sometimes not even today. They have flashbacks where they see everything, asleep or awake, and it causes the mind to play tricks on itself and you think you are truly there all over again. In 1980, PTSD “was recognized as a specific condition with identifiable symptoms.”

Of all the impacts of PTSD, “Suicidal thoughts or self-destructive acts are often a result of PTSD or related symptoms. Anyone experiencing thoughts or urges to self-harm should seek immediate care to prevent the condition from getting worse in the short-term.”

Where to get help: The Department of Veterans Affairs is one place to get information on PTSD and they will help find a therapist for a veteran who needs one. There is also a Suicide Crisis Hotline (800-273-8255) that has resources especially for Veterans and they are also confidential.

Locally, there is an organization called Brazos Valley Cares , and their purpose is “to support individuals who have served in the United States military services, and their families with additional consideration given to the Brazos Valley.” Their website is www.brazosvalleycares.org , and they are located at 1401 S. Texas Ave., Bryan, TX 77802; phone number is (979) 361-7815. They help veterans get back into regular life once they leave the military.

Next month we will share more about what PTSD means, particularly in the military service. Every service person who loses their life during military service is remembered on Memorial Day. Added to this list should be those who die after returning because of mental and emotional injury and trauma that occurs during the height of training or battle. On Memorial Day, we remember them as well.

One reminder: if you would like to add your military veteran’s name to the Wall of Honor, the deadline is August 15, 2021, to have your name added to be included in recognition for the annual Veterans Day Ceremony. For more information visit this site: http://bvvm.org/wall-of-honor

We won’t say “Happy Memorial Day” as in terms of picnics and furniture sales and a day off from work this year, but we will say “Thank you for your service to our country” to all those who served. We remember: “All gave some, and some gave all.” We remain a grateful family with many of our own having served our country, and we are proud to be part of this community.

Cody D. ’02 and Chelsea Jones ‘11

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